Shadows on the Mile
by Ladiladida
Summary: She saw the calculating cruelty absent from Percy Wetmore's eyes as he pulled that trigger and killed Bill Wharton, they all had. He had been the cause of her introduction to the mile, her humiliation on the mile. Yet he was the reason she met Brutus Howell. Dark themes at times. Brutus/OFC, I own none of the characters/story
1. Percy

There had been a moment when the decision to step onto the Green Mile at that precise time had seemed like the worst idea, she hadn't listened to his fear but she was right. Only two hours before had her footsteps silently tiptoed upon it, seeing a cell vacant and another with its resident in a heavy slumber. Now she knew they had returned, and it was the one moment where everything changed.

"Percy?" She heard Paul's voice, confused and concerned as she stepped quietly onto the mile and looked down at the group crowded round the entrance of John Coffey's cell. Percy's head slowly turned to look at Paul, his vacant eyes and drooping jaw a blank canvas. "Are you alright?"

For a moment it seemed like Percy might indeed be looking back, but then he pushed out his arm with slow carelessness, as though every movement was difficult to process and he broke from the group. His step was sluggish, faltering and without co-ordination and his eyes seemed unable to fix on any point. Until that was, he seemed to catch sight of her shadow which stretched along the mile in front of her. His vacant eyes rose for a second and he seemed to look not at her, but through her and he continued to move. Her stomach flipped with a menacing sickness. She felt she must take a step forward though she did not know if the group at the end watched her or Percy. She needed to move, to take that step, why she did not know but she ought to. And yet, just as he laboured to move each listless step towards her, she could not move a muscle. No one else moved either, in fact no one said a word. Each step Percy took seemed to last minutes beyond the seconds it took, time seemed to stretch and pull around them. All around seemed to darken except that decreasing space between Percy and her.

Suddenly there was a noise, a faint movement and a groan from the one other occupied cell apart from Coffey's, Wharton's cell. Percy was now practically parallel to it yet he took another step or two towards her. His eyes were nowhere, his hands loose at the end of limp arms and when he came to a stop she felt the urge again to step forward. Could she shake him out of this, slap him and wake him from this? Yet her body would not move an inch, she would not take one step to help that devil. She could see every bead of sweat on his sticky forehead, the dribble now congregating at the corners of his lips, his hair soaked and curling at the ends. His pathetic sight made her hate him all the more, the Percy she knew seemed gone and vanished, but this shell still held everything she despised in him.

But in a split second, her glorified disgust of him dimmed when she saw him slowly turn his head to look into Wharton's cell, the eye visible to her which so far had seemed devoid of focus now looked at the inmate who continued to groan on the bed.

"What are you lookin' at?" Wharton croaked with hostility, she saw Percy's head tip ever so slightly to one side like a bird at the sound of his voice. There was a painful pause, why could none of them move? She could sense the foreboding doom in the air yet she didn't know what was about to happen, she feared somehow Percy would willingly walk into Wharton's cell. Hearing the latter rise from the bed he repeated his taunting question, clearer, bolder this time. Why could none of them move?

The events that followed happened so slow and yet seemingly in the blink of an eye, Percy reaching for his pistol and firing several rounds into Wharton's chest. She lurched forward but the sound of Paul's 'no' locked her body to the spot after only a few steps, yet close enough to see the now bloodied, open chest of Wharton stagger back and collapse. Paul, Brutal and the others knocked Percy to the floor in seconds. The sound of Bill's choking seemed to fill her ears, the others murmurs a faint blur in the background. Her eyes dropped to the floor where they scrambled around the listless body of Percy, the man she hated. Brutal's large hand was covering the lower part of his face, searching his eyes. There was nothing, nothing for a moment except the final gasping choke of Wharton before he expired his foul existence.

At last she came forward, seemingly not seeing the collection of officers who she knew like close friends, she saw nothing but Percy's limp body lying on his back, pale and without attention. She could smell the strong ammonia of the urine now leaking in a trickle towards her. Kneeling down near him she tried to rise beyond the smell of excrement and urine and looked at him, still not seeing the others. Percy was so still, so unanimated.

She was forming her lips to say his name, check she was not imagining this for it all seemed so real. Her body leaned over him, no one stopping her when he began to gag and choke, breaking the spell of hope that it was over. He wretched and heaved and she sank back onto her knees, urine soaking her skirt as she watched him writhe there. There were no words that could describe her feelings of horror, terror and even pity when the flies emerged from his gaping mouth framed by white, straining lips. They poured out like steam from a kettle, dense and yet dark as a thunder cloud. She felt like she was being wrapped in a blanket of nightmare so potent that no one but Percy and she were there. All she could see, all she could hear and all she could smell was Percy, this would be another memory with him that would never leave her, the worst of them all. How strange the most nightmarish one would be where he was powerless, all control gone yet more consuming than ever.

The flies dissipated above her, Percy's gasps ceased and he became quiet again, yet all around her seemed cold and she felt isolated there on the cool floor of the mile. The flies seemed to pull away any energy and feeling she had left, her only awareness was that she was now close to Percy's legs, Harry to her side. Unable to take any more she drooped forward and the world became dark.

 _Beth._

The voice whispered near her ear, the voice that seemed to always be that little bit too near, sour and destructive.

 _Beth._

She groaned to shush it, hoping it would recede. Her brain acknowledged on the second calling of her name that it was coming from inside her mind, a torment of her own allowing. Her faculties seemed to start returning to her, she became aware of her hands and feet, then the rest of her. Keeping her eyes closed seemed the best idea for now, for that voice had left her feeling anxious and it was not the film she wanted to begin seeing the world through again. Around her she could hear voices, they were a little way off in deep conversation and Beth could not feel like anyone was nearby her. For a moment she wondered if she was in a hospital, then everything came flooding back and the voice's effect on her vanished and was replaced with the overwhelming horror of reality.

Beth's eyes opened and she blinked several times as she was laid beneath the main light of the room. A heavy breath escaped her lips reluctantly and she put her hand up to shield her vision, the voices stopped and footsteps came toward her. The first person she noticed looking at her was Dean, his eyes heavy with all that had gone on, trauma deep set within them. She had a feeling that would disturbance would have a permanent home there in his eyes, he was the most sensitive of them all.

"How you feelin?" He asked, Beth sat up slowly; he put his hand out to help. Still a little sluggish, she accepted without any pride and it wasn't long before Harry came up alongside holding out a tin mug of water.

"Thank you." She whispered, her voice not seeming able to be any louder at this point, the whole affair had brought a gloom and dark shadow about the room. It seemed wrong somehow considering the purpose of the place. Her eyes became more accustomed to the light and she took in a large sip of water.

"Where…" She could not manage the rest, Dean shook his head and replied quietly.

"The hospital. Paul and Brutal are there."

"He's alive." Harry added sombrely. "But he's gone in all else."

"I'm sorry." Dean continued after a moment, he rested his hand on her shoulder but she looked upon the gesture with confusion. She knew he meant well, but did he think she was even remotely sorry for Percy Whetmore? Beth felt it best not to reply, instead accepting the gesture for the kindness it was, they all would know deep down she was not sorry.

"How long have I been here?"

"Around two hours or so." Dean replied.

"I need to make a call." Harry said and Dean nodded, he left the room quietly leaving only the two of them together.

"Boss asked for us to call the hospital when you were awake."

Beth listened but did not fully register this; instead she took in several deep breaths, the air now seemed clearer all of a sudden. Her brain stop whirring with delirium and the room appeared clearer in focus than it had all day.

"Can you feel it?" She said, a little louder now.

"Whadya mean?" Dean asked.

"Since Del… poor Del, everything just hung so heavy and it was his doing…. Suddenly… it's like…"

She didn't answer for a moment, this perturbed Dean.

"Well…" He asked quietly.

"He really has gone."

"Del?"

"Percy."

The phone started to ring, Dean rushed to answer it in the other room and suddenly she was left alone. For a moment she sat pondering then her eyes dashed to the door, she was barely metres from the mile. Without another thought she slipped off the table she had been laid upon, her feet bare. She walked down its cool faded green towards Coffey's cell and stood there. She had walked by the blood stained vacant cell of Wild Bill Wharton, passed the cell of Del's. The great bulk of a man was laid facing the wall, he seemed lifeless and quiet as Percy and Bill had been. Taking the bars in her hands she rested her forehead against them and exhaled deeply.

"God bless you, John Coffey."

Several tears rolled down her cheeks and she began to sob quietly.

John heard her quiet cries in his dreams and slowly he turned on his bunk and looked in the direction of their author, but she was already gone. A pluck of peace came to his heart for a moment, amid all of the vileness of the last few hours and the exhaustion of his miracle one person had blessed his peace.

 _It was nearly the end now, he would be blessed again._


	2. Moon Pie

**Chapter 1**

 _ **Some weeks earlier.**_

Beth's hands were already starting to get sore from soap and starch, soon they would grow dry and start to flake in the gaps between her fingers. She knew that from seeing her mother's hands as a child. She dipped the sheets into the deep basin, the water bubbling lightly and thick films of steam rising into the air before dissipating. She'd been at this for over an hour now, sheets and Percy's shirts. It was the one compliment he'd given her after the first time she had done it, she got his shirts pristine, just how he liked them. But he perspired like the devil, the marks under the arms and collar took real energy to get white and crisp and she feared one day she would have to tell him they'd given up the ghost. It would be her fault of course, he was perfect after all. Percy was giving her a generally wide birth today, she'd hardly clapped eyes on him at all and she allowed herself a small amount of quiet relief.

This laundry room was a fairly messy situation; it can't have been properly cleaned in a long while. She supposed that's why she was here; she could be the one to do something about it for the grand men like Percy would never do it. Even Toot had better fish to fry then get up onto those high cabinets adjacent to the large laundry basins where she now stood. Up top she could see the odd rusted, dusty tin or two and bottles of this and that. How had they got up there anyway? The cobwebs and dead insects up there was likely a growing population to. Yes, she would get up there in the next day or so and see to it, no one would notice but it would spare her going mad with worry about Percy appearing. Pulling the sheets from the basin she got to work rinsing and mangling them before carrying the large bundle out into the small alcove of yard where they hung washing. It was a dingy little spot with lonely a small circle light, the cracked flagstones had moss and weeds growing confidently between them. It was quiet though and there was fresh air here, not like the stale, sombre air of the mile.

Percy had brought her here nearly four weeks ago now and in that time she'd managed to go virtually unnoticed by them all. Beth doubted they even knew how she had ended up here. She'd guessed enough from her knowledge of him that Percy was unlikely to be popular amongst his peers. His entire demeanour was repellent and poisonous and the few of his 'friends' she'd encountered on the outside hardly seemed friends at all. In fact it was more like they were all acquaintances only joined by a sick, nasty sense of fun. She could imagine them all as children tormenting animals purely because they were the bigger, stronger species, yet now they were grown they were no better than maggots in a festering wound.

When she returned to the laundry room she could hear movement within, her stomach flipped with nervous tension and swallowing hard she stepped in. It was not quite who she expected to see and yet the nervousness did not dispel. Standing by the basin stood the man she knew only as 'Brutal', his stature and foreboding appearance from the uniform aided the nickname. His darkened expression offered no relief either. He had dipped a cloth into the laundry basin she had filled with fresh soapy water for the next batch of linen and was wiping furiously at his coat. At her entrance he turned to look at her, his brow remaining furrowed and he didn't seem happy to be disturbed. His face was a little marked from what appeared to be a grime of some kind and whatever it was was smattered on the top half of his warden coat too. For a second they only observed each other, both feeling the interruption of their duties but Beth realised she should at least be thankful it was not Percy. Stepping forward she said nothing but examined the expansive stain on his coat. Now that she was nearer to him there was an aroma that seemed to accompany the grime, it was strange. Somehow it smelt both sickly sweet and yet pungently sour. It was not a pleasant smell and if that was what stained his skin a little, she could understand why he was not in the best of moods.

"You don't want to be wiping it like that with the cloth, it could stain it permanently. There's a clean sponge in the drawer, we'd be better dabbing with solvent, it should come up fine again." Beth explained to him, she had been examining the stain still whilst she spoke but upon finishing, her eyes rose to meet his to await his thoughts.

"Solvent?"

"The solvent we use now, it's too long to say… didn't you know about it?"

"I've not had to do stain removal much… not cos of things like this anyhow." He replied with a grumble. "You heard of a guy we got here, his name's Wharton."

Oh she'd heard of Wharton alright, Percy had mentioned him once or twice, he'd used long descriptions to make him seem ghoulish and evil. It was all used as hints by Percy when he threatened to send her on the mile to clean if he felt so inclined.

"A little."

"Well, let's just say he gotta hell of an aim." Brutal continued.

"If you have five minutes I can get the most of this off, you can bring it back later and I can give it a more thorough clean when you've finished your shift."

"I got five minutes; he's all locked up anyhow."

Beth fetched the sponge and poured a quarter sized amount of PCE onto it, returning to Brutal and dabbing the stained areas gently. She had to raise her arms up a little higher to reach the point of the marks for Brutal seemed even more of a giant up close. Focusing her attentions on the stains, she worked delicately for a few minutes and in that time very little passed between them. She didn't know if he was looking at her or the wall as she had proceeded, her mind was too much on the task at hand. At last though she was satisfied enough with the temporary cleaning she could offer and taking a few steps back she looked at the area.

"You can't tell from a distance." She observed and at this Brutal looked down at her handy work and his face broke a little with relief.

"That's lookin' finer than it did, no mistake." He replied, "Thank you."

"Like I say bring it by later, I can finish it up."

"I didn't know we had a laundry lady now." He observed, she wasn't sure from his tone whether it was a serious comment or a joke. When in doubt of someone, Beth found it best to always answer earnestly.

"I come by most days and clean and wash and such."

"I ain't seen you up on the mile, that still Toot's haunt I suppose."

"No I ain't been on the mile." She didn't want to answer the other word that was in her mind. ' _yet._ '

The faint grime on his cheek and neck looked even more out of place with his now much cleaner coat and taking a handkerchief from her pocket she moved to run it under then tap, wringing it out and handing it to him. He took off his hat and receiving her offering in his large palm he proceeded to wipe down his face and neck quickly; succeeding in eradicating the last of whatever it was that had been levelled at him.

Brutal made a move to walk away but he turned quickly at the door, adjusting his hat in a way he wanted.

"You sure you don't mind if I drop this back later?" He asked, clearly making sure he was not taking advantage of a woman he had only just met.

"I wouldn't offer if it minded me." She replied and for a second she dared to offer a light smile, purely at the corners of her mouth. He looked at her a moment, his face relaxing into a professional openness.

"Thank you, oh and should you venture onto the mile, don't bring any Moon Pies if you don' mind." He winced. "After today I don' think I can stomach 'em."

Beth watched him walk out the door and his footsteps receded and eventually were gone from her ear shot. For a second she contemplated and realised something along the lines of what must have happened up there on the mile, the idea of it turned her stomach. Then her eyes caught sight of that dusty clutter up top and realising it couldn't wait until the morning now she knew it was about her, she was determined to make a start today. Hell, what else was she gonna do for another four hours?


	3. Cleaning

**Chapter 2**

There was only one way to tackle high cabinets, Beth knew that well enough. She had scrambled through the cupboards and found enough clean rag cloths to wipe of the thick, black dust. Fetching a bucket of hot soapy water she placed it by the cabinet and took out her trusty safety pin. During cleaning such as this she always took the right side of her skirt, twisted it a little and pinned it in place. It stopped the skirt billowing into the dirt and reduced the chance of her catching it or tangling in it. She knew it was hardly a modest look, the skirt was hitched up just above the knee now but it protected enough of her modesty for the task at hand. Dragging a chair from the store room nearby she put everything in place and commenced work.

Beth was right about the dust, thick, dark clumps of it bundled up along the cloth it was so dense, a scattering of rain beetles, curled up spiders long dead and flies littered the cupboard top. The dust floated in the air around her and made her cough, she could feel it landing and sticking to her skin and hair. It became an exhausting, rhythmic pattern, she would wipe swiftly, climb down, dip, rinse and twist out the rag then clamber back up stretching out her arms. It took a lot of elbow grease but gradually she was making her way around, stopping only to tip the dirty sludge outside and refill the bucket with fresh, clean water. She wiped her brow with the back of her hand, likely leaving a mark but she could feel beads of sweat lingering there, irritating her. Her cheeks were flushed and her hair which was wrapped untidily in a bun began to sag a little and small tendrils curled from the heat, tickling the back of her neck.

Beth was proceeding to the final cabinet top when she heard footsteps, she was mid wipe and to stop now would be pointless and being so engrossed in the task, she didn't realise not only how much time had passed, but the person stood by her.

"Well looky here." A familiar voice chuckled sardonically, Percy's voice. "It's the living picture of a scrub down."

Beth's hand shook a little but she carried on with her job, choosing to ignore him, he walked some way around her until she could see him in the corner of her eye.

"Do you have any idea wha you look like?" He asked. Beads of sweat gathered quicker on her forehead and she brushed them away nervously with the back of her hand again. "You must be likin' this job, takin' on such dirty jobs as you are. Must feel right at hom' aye?"

She stepped down, her cloth now thick with grime and acting like he wasn't there she dipped her hands and the cloth deep into the bucket and proceeded to rinse it well.

"Excuse me?" He said, his voice demanding and slow, he was making a point to her that he would not be ignored.

"Wha' do you want Percy?" She asked at last, looking towards him. He smiled crookedly at gaining her attention at last, and then he eyed her from top to bottom and laughed in a way that could only be at her expense.

"I just came by for a little chat, that's all. I don't recall that bein' a crime."

"I'm workin' the job you got me."

"So you are," He replied quietly, his hand coming up and touching her cheek with his fingertips, he soon pulled away and seemed unhappy at even the slightest possibility of grime. "I best let you get back to it."

Beth looked at him, waiting for him to leave but instead he just stood there observing her with an amused expression on his face. At last when she found looking at him so exhausting, she climbed back onto the chair and continued with her work, yet it was only a superficial wipe for she was too conscious of him to lose herself in the job. Beth knew she was waiting for something, would he push her off or throw the water at her? She felt the impending humiliation whatever it was and she was determined to brace herself. For a while Percy did nothing, seemingly enjoying just the effect his mere presence had on her. Only then did he start to walk around her slowly again, his eyes at perfect level with the small amount of thigh showing due to her dress being pinned up.

He stepped as close to her as the chair would let him and she could feel his gaze burning her skin, yet he was still looking at that small bit of thigh visible to him, covered in a pair of stockings that wouldn't last much longer.

"Did anyone ever tell you that you have good legs?" He observed, his tone changing now, there was a pique of almost desire in his voice but it still sounded revolting and slimy coming from his lips. "You do, you know."

Beth swallowed hard and tried to continue with her work, focusing her agitation in the scrubbing of the cabinet top. When she felt his fingertips brush against her knee and up a little onto her thigh she felt her stomach turn queasy and she fought hard not to tremble. Her ministrations stopped altogether now, whilst his became bolder. Though her dress was pinned, Percy was more than able to slide his hand a little further up, far enough to reach the seam of her stocking and where the garter hook rested. He smoothed his palm and rested it there, waiting for what she couldn't say. Was he expecting a scream, for her to shrug him off or worse yet, beg him to reach higher? But Beth could say nothing, she merely went cold all over and felt any pride she had in herself leave her, like he was draining it from her. The moment seemed to stretch out adding knot after knot to her stomach, her muscles ached from being so tense and now her eyes were starting to prick with tears. Just as she feared they would betray her and spill out onto her cheeks she heard footsteps coming down the corridor.

Percy withdrew his hand quickly but without panic, he readjusted his jacket and she looked down at him, his brow was beaded with sweat too, he looked different and she couldn't bear to think why.

"You might want to scrub those nails of yours when you're done, in fact, you'll need to scrub your entire body."

Percy started to walk out the door, happening to meet Brutal as he did so. Brutal was not stopping for Percy, but seeing her there he did stop and he looked from Percy to Beth. Neither being able to stand it nor wanting anyone to see her agitation, Beth looked away and stepped down from the chair. Percy's receding footsteps rang heavy in her ears as she dropped the rag, now too black to be worth rinsing into the bucket with a heavy splosh. She dipped her hands into the bucket and rinsed them off as best she could, wiping them on the apron she wore over her dress as she turned to face him. Beth hoped to god she had regained enough composure, she wanted no one to guess any connection between her and Percy Wetmore. Brutal looked at her from head to toe as Percy had done, though his face did not wear that nasty undertone and was in truth unreadable. He would be wondering she knew but she wouldn't address it with him.

"Are you leaving your coat?" She asked, bending to lift the bucket, her muscles sore. Before she knew it, Brutal had taken the bucket and with a noise encouraging her to move out of the way he took it from the room to tip it out. Beth moved to a small mirror and saw a few streaks of grime on her face and the spilling wisps of curls hanging from her bun and framing her face. She looked a flustered mess but then she counted her blessings that the work she had done could be explained as the cause. When Brutal returned he launched straight into conversation.

"I think my jacket can wait another day, or if you tell me what I need, I'll take it away with me." He explained. "We generally do our own laundry here."

It seemed to Beth that he was not going to address the subject of Percy Wetmore's presence just now and she was glad of it. Yet she was also wishing she could address it for otherwise god knows what conclusions could be drawn. Instead however, she found herself looking at this giant of a man, for he seemed that to her, that uniform really was imposing. It made him look solid and stoic, but his eyes suggested that could not always be the case. Under his hat she could see greying hair at the temples and his gait was firm, he could not be beyond his early forties she thought.

"I can do it, I said I would." She said at last. "I jus' look a little chaotic at the present."

"I don't remember ever knowing anyone ever cleaning up there as long as I've been here." He observed, his eyes looking up towards her handy work. "Nope, I can't think it ever happening, certainly not by Toot."

She laughed lightly and she saw a subtle upturn of the corners of his mouth, a small wry smile perhaps. It almost softened the experience of the previous ten minutes but there was still a shudder slithering down her spine from Percy's touch, no smile small or great could shirk that feeling for a while. More footsteps sounded and soon Harry and Dean entered the laundry room and stood a little behind Brutal. Dean's mouth was ready to speak but he paused a minute when they caught sight of Beth, they looked from her to the cabinets up top.

"I ain't imagined a laundry room this clean in a Pen like ours." Harry observed. "Is this your doin'?"

Beth nodded and wiping her hand one more time she moved over to Harry and offered it to him.

"Elizabeth Hadler."

Harry took her hand and shook it lightly, smiling a little at the bedraggled woman in front of him.

"I'm Harry, here's Dean." He gestured with his head towards the youngest of the guards and then finally to Brutal. "You know Brutal it seems."

"Only a few minutes head start from yourselves." She replied, trying to keep her voice even and friendly however tired and unnerved she was from Percy's visit. "I've seen you all about the mile and around."

Beth's eyes flicked back to Brutal who was looking at her and she didn't like the idea of what kind of judgements might be forming in his mind, she felt more confident turning back to Harry and Dean to continue their talk.

"I see you were both spared the moon pie."

"I was spared that particular trick of Wharton's." Harry explained. "But I'm familiar with his routine, let's just say that."

"He's proving a live wire." Brutal added and Beth's eyes now included him in her gaze again. She did not imagine she would be chatting idly with three guards from the famous Green Mile. In truth she felt embarrassed looking the way she did in front of three men so formally dressed in their uniforms, it wasn't right.

"Well fellas." She said amicably, suddenly the urge to be away from it all and bathed from head to foot overwhelmed her. "I need to get goin'. Mr Howell, if you leave your coat here I can see to it early doors before you come on shift."

"It's alright." He answered. "I'll figure something."

"Well I'll bid ya'all goodnight." She said in as friendly a tone as she could, using all her muster to mask a yawn that was keen to escape her lips. As she walked by them she felt their gaze follow her out the door but she did not listen out for their voices as she walked away. Instead she tried to get out of the whole goddam place as quick as she could. When the fresh, crisp air hit her face as she stepped outside, she tipped her head upwards, closing her eyes and taking in a deep draft. How those men incarcerated in there were not going stir crazy without the cool reviving breeze, she did not know. All she was pleased about was that unlike them, there were brief moments when she could escape Percy Wetmore.


	4. Apples

**Chapter 3**

The sun streaked through the branches of the large apple tree in the Faber's back yard. Its leaves were a lush green in the fullness of the season, yet they hung low with the burden of the apples hanging fresh and ripe red. Beth put her hand up to shield her eyes from the glimmer of sunlight blinding her vision whenever the branches shifted and danced from the light breeze. It was a glorious day, it felt the best time to be free. Mrs Faber came onto her back porch, a tray of lemonade in hand and she called out to Beth.

"Before you get pickin', you'll have a drink young lady!"

"Thank you Dol, I'll be over in a minute. Good thing we have the whole day, there's a bumper crop here I can see that." Beth called back happily, she felt lighter today than she had in weeks. Soaking up the sunshine and the smell of fresh grass and clear air was good for the soul; she could forget everything that involved feeling stifled. Most importantly, she could forget Percy Wetmore.

She walked over to her friend, the elders stoop increasing weekly and her speed slower, yet the smile never faded. When Beth was a child Mrs Faber had been a glamorous middle aged woman, now she was a faded beauty, but no crow's feet or thinning of the face could dim the happy glimmer of her friendly eyes. Taking a glass in her hand, the pair sat together on the bench, Beth taking a deep sip of the sweet, tangy liquid.

"Now ain't that makin' the day better?" Dolores Faber asked, nudging Beth a little with her bony elbow. "How many pies you think we gonna be makin' from those apples?"

"Enough for the entire street I should wonder."

"You're sweet comin' still helping me with these even now you're a young lady."

"You taught me how to make the sweetest fillings and the softest crusts, why would I leave such expertise?" Beth joked.

"I did miss you those years when you couldn't come." Dolores reached over and squeezed her young companion's hand. "But I'm glad we can keep up the tradition now."

Beth took another sip and looked down across the deep lush lawn and at the great apple tree with its burdened, heavy branches begging to have its spoils picked. The sun and the company warmed her; it was beautiful day for sure.

After a few minutes she took out her safety pin and pinned her dressed as Dolores had taught her that first time she picked apples when she was 9 years old. Now fifteen years had passed by and she did it whenever the occasion called. Dolores had taught her more of such little things like that than her mother ever had. But then her mother had always been working, she had never been around enough to teach the little things. Beth held nothing against her mother though, she might have missed the little things, but her hard work provided the important, practical ones.

"I'm getting' to work now, Dol."

"Okay little lady, I'll have some of this lemonade for you when you're done. Don't stretch too high; there ain't two of us now."

"Nor you we have Harry to lift me into those high spots." Beth laughed lightly, standing up and dusting herself off. Harry has been Dolores' only son, he'd moved away some years ago and had once taken pity on twelve year old Beth and gave her her first kiss. As children he would lift her up into the top branches for he was a giant though only three years her senior. Those were the idyllic years of apple picking. Gathering the basket from by the door, Beth walked to the apple tree and set to work.

For the next three hours she reached, picked and placed those apples, scrambling up and down the ladder with the agility of a cat. She felt like the sun fuelled her energy, though it would bake her skin a golden brown by the end of the day she knew. By the end, the basket was full and it took a heavy burst of energy to lug the bumper crop back to the kitchen. Dolores clapped her hands when she saw the abundance and she patted Beth's cheek affectionately.

"Well done, my sweet."

The pair sat once again on the porch and sipped at lemonade, the sun was dipping down towards late afternoon now, the breeze cooler but pleasant. Dolores was thinking to herself and after a few minutes silence, Beth asked.

"Those must be some deep thoughts, Dol."

"I was thinking about the nice young lady two doors down, she told me her little ones are fond of apple pie but her tree is small and spoils fast from the flies. Would you mind taking her some?"

"Not at all." Beth offered with a smile and getting up she bundled a few dozen into her apron, thinking little of it until Dolores looked at her. "Will she mind them being brought like this?"

"I doubt it, she seems a nice girl, her kids will have eyes as big as dishes when they see what you bringin'."

Thinking nothing of it, Beth carried the apples in her apron, holding the hem bundled in her hands. Arriving at the door of the nice, simple house she knocked lightly and waited. The sound of footsteps and the unlocking of the front door brought out the friendly smile of Beth but when the door opened she couldn't help but be taken aback. Instead of a young woman stood there, a man was. A man she had met only two days previous.

"Mr Stanton!" She exclaimed, "I did not know this was your house!"

Dean looked from her surprised face to the apples bundled in her apron, when his eyes met her again she felt embarrassed and more like her drab little self from the days previous. Thankfully now she was not covered in grime, though her dewy skin, curling hair and marked dress had a similar ring from when they had first met.

"Hello." He said politely.

"Mrs Faber sent these for your wife; I believe they're to make a pie for your kids."

The remark was obvious and stupid, but she needed something she could say comfortably. Dean looked back at the apples and smiled.

"That's very kind of her." He remarked. "Would you like a hand?"

"I think it might be better if I brought 'em into the kitchen like this, we don't want them rolling all over now. It would be a pity to bruise them."

"Of course, of course." He stuttered quickly, stepping back and allowing her to come by. Beth followed him to the kitchen; she could hear his children playing in an adjacent room. His wife, a pretty brunette carrying a small bump of new life turned to the pair and looked from Dean to Beth.

"Mrs Faber sent these round for you, June."

June Stanton came over and looked into the crop concealed in Beth's apron and her face grew all the prettier from a beaming smile.

"Oh my, the babies will be so pleased with these, they so love apple pie. How thoughtful of Dolores to remember my sayin' so!"

"I gathered lots, there'll be a production line of pies comin'. Dolores taught me to make them like no other." Beth explained in a friendly tone.

"That's the kind of cooking I wish we had on the mile." Dean remarked, but his mention of the mile threw Beth off a little.

"Do you two know each other?" June asked, looking at Beth.

"Yes, I work a little at the Pen, cleaning and such." Beth stammered.

"I don't know how you stand it, Dean doesn't tell me much about what goes on there but I can' imagine it's not nice for a girl such as yoursel'."

Beth thought how Mrs Stanton wouldn't consider her a nice girl if she knew the truth, it shamed her.

"Well… I spend…" Beth faltered; Dean could not have missed the panic in her face. "I spend most of my time in there cleaning, I don't… I haven't…. there's been no cause for me to go on there…"

June Stanton smiled at her to try and rebalance the situation and she brought round a low box for Beth to tip the apples into.

"I best be getting' back." Beth said, dusting her hands down. "It was nice to meet you Mrs Stanton, I hope your children enjoy the pies you're gonna make."

Dean followed her to the door and opened it gallantly, stepping outside onto their porch, Beth felt the breeze blow against her face, it didn't revive her this time. Not wanting to be rude, she turned back to Dean who was regarding her with an unreadable expression.

"Thank Mrs Faber for us." He said politely.

"I will."

They looked at one another a moment and Dean stepped forward a little and said in an almost brotherly way.

"You know we got an execution comin' up?"

"I had heard."

"Have you heard about Mr Jingles?"

"A little from…" Beth stopped, she wasn't saying his name today. "I heard he is somethin'."

"He is."

"Well…" Beth said swallowing hard. "Enjoy the apples."

Beth offered a small, forced smile and turned away, walking down the Stanton's path. Each step away from their porch allowed her mortification to fill her face. Her cheeks burned fiercely and her stomach flipped back and forth. By the time she reached Dolores' house again all she wanted to do was rush upstairs and cry. But that wasn't her home and she was offering her services to her aging friend for a few more hours yet. She would have to pull herself together to avoid Dolores' worrying. She stood one Dolores' front porch, her hand almost touching the door handle when a few seemingly close to her ear from someone behind whispered harshly.

" _Beth."_

She jumped, crying aloud a little and turned quickly to face her assailant. But there was no one there, her only assailant being the fear inside her head. The entire front was drenched in sunny silence, only she stood there. Tears spilled onto her cheeks now and a self loathing seemed to fill her and darken the world around. There were some things she couldn't ever fully escape from.


	5. Sympathy

**Chapter 4**

There were things Beth thought she could not have imagined, even if she had focused every ounce of energy into creating some scenario in her head. Her work progressed monotonously for several minutes since entering the laundry room. She had filled the basin and added the soap and starch, putting on her apron and rolling up her sleeves as she readied herself. When her hands gripped the fabric and submerged it she began to find a happy rhythm in the monotony of her work. Routine could envelop her at times and she liked how it cleared her mind. Immersing herself in the repetitive tasks, she tried to push the sound of Percy and Del's laughter she'd heard in the distance as she'd walked from E block down here. Something was brewing, she could feel it, it always troubled her how she had a sense for these things.

Only fifteen minutes or so earlier she had encountered Del for the first time, seeing him with her own eyes. Percy had muttered names under his breath about the Cajun, but he had never directly spoken of him to her. She knew one thing though, Percy hated him. Yet only a quarter of an hour before they had crossed paths at the entrance to E block, he was accompanied by the imposing Brutal Howell.

" _Would this be Mr Jingles?"_ She had asked.

The smaller prisoner, dwarfed by his guard had looked up for permission to speak. Brutal gave a small nod and the man she guessed to be Delecroix spoke.

" _Yes, this is Mr Jingles… we just been showin' is here tricks to all dem over there. They loved Mr Jingles, ain't that right Boss Howell?"_

" _Sure did Del."_

Brutal and she had looked at one another, the small box containing Mr Jingles held between his two large hands. Beth had let a smile escape her at the sight of that twitching whiskers and keen, little eyes of the mouse. From what she had heard he was a rare thing indeed.

Then there had been Toot, fresh from rehearsing Del's execution she had figured. He had been ripe with mordant humour with his attempts to push a rag into her hands telling her she needed to clean Old Sparky. With the little will she had she had stood her ground and insisted she had jobs at hand. He had called her a simple girl and had made jeering remarks about that chair which would soon be frying the life out of another man to bring justice to his victims' families. But she would not be enveloped in any part of that, if Percy wasn't going to drag her into this world then Toot certainly wouldn't. As she worked however, her mind couldn't escape the way that Brutal kept regarding her whenever they happened to meet. Beth knew he was trying to pin point something about her, but it was more than that. Under the gaze of these men of the mile she felt nervous enough, but under his scrutiny it seemed all the worse. Putting it to the back of her mind as best she could, she had put it down to the sheer size of the man.

 _That was when it happened, something she never expected to see._

Percy drifted into the laundry room, yet he seemed the less himself than she could ever imagine. A stark contrast from the laughter she heard in the distance behind her as she walked from E block. His face was ghost white, his hair tousled and drenched from perspiration but his expression was strained, tear soaked and something she never thought she would see… defeated.

Stepping away from the tub she came over to him, dipping her head to try and make contact with his drooping eyes, for they were nearly the same height. His name was on the tip of her tongue to try and rouse his attention but as she stepped near, his knees gave way slowly and he sunk onto them. His forehead now rested against her hip bone and like a child running to its mother when scared he wrapped his arms about her waist and pressed his face into the fabric of her apron. Percy said nothing, he didn't move, he only remained there as time stretched out around them. Her arms rested loosely at her sides, Percy's actions had thrown her completely. Beth felt him exhale deeply against the fabric of her dress and he breathed in and out heavily for some seconds. Her unease increased.

"Percy." She said softly, then something new caught her attention, a smell snaked its way to her nostrils, the smell of urine. Looking down at him she waited and could not help but bring a hand up to the top of his head and sweep it over his sodden hair. Beth felt him grip at her a little tighter, press his face into her all the more, his face becoming closer with the centre of her pelvis and she wanted to pull her hand away in discomfort. But out of some sympathy she left it to rest on top of his head. The smell of urine was filling the air now and she had trouble ignoring it.

"What's happened?"

Percy tensed around her, the arms encircling her grabbed fist fulls of fabric at the back of her dress and he snapped his head up, yanking her back a little putting an inch or two distance between them. When he looked up it was like he hated her, that she embodied everything that he distained. He got up quickly yet he did not move from her.

"This place is a piss soaked hole, those damn bastards in there stink of it."

Beth said nothing, starting to understand part of what had happened though from the look in Percy's face, she wouldn't dare bring it up. Instead, swallowing hard she made a suggestion.

"Do you have another pair of trousers?" His eyes widened with emotion and she could see his temple throbbing. "I can wash those; you can change before any of the others know the difference."

"Know the difference of what?" Percy growled, coming in closer to her, his face no longer white, his cheeks were burning. "What do you suppose happened down there?"

"I…" She stammered. "Brutal and Harry told me about Wharton… he has a habit of… making himself known."

Beth didn't know what part of what she had said launched Percy into the bitter tirade that followed, she thought she had said what was right from what the other's had mentioned. Knowing full well Percy had wet himself, it seemed logical to suggest Wharton had pissed on him.

Gripping her arm he yanked her over to the basin and grabbing a cloth he pushed her down onto her knees in front of him. His face was now so furious, so desperate to clamber the need for superiority that she wondered if he would hit her.

"You're right…" He chattered furiously. "He made himself known alright, now clean that piss off my shoe. I can't walk down the mile smelling like the streets you come from!"

For a moment they looked at one another, her gaze faltering as she felt all the power drain from her body and Percy is seemed was soaking it up. Looking at the shoes she wiped them carefully taking time in the hope that the next time she looked up at him, some of that fury might have waned.

It wasn't the case, glancing back towards him she started to rise saying.

"The polish is over there."

"Never mind the polish." He grated, his look changing a little now, the anger was leaving him but the cruelty was growing. "You were right; I need to change my trousers. Unbuckle my belt."

There would be no good in arguing with him, no point attempting to move away from him. Who would be around to help? Her hands were visibly shaking when she reached for the buckle and with a little difficulty she unfastened it. A fleeting hope came into her mind. He had wet himself that was for sure, it was unlikely he would force anything on her whilst he smelt like a soiled child. Yet a darker knowledge in her mind spoke warning of a man who seemed to have little limit. She reached for the button of his trousers but he stepped back a little, chuckling. The look in his eye now made her hate it with a violent passion, yet she hated herself all the more for daring to show a modicum of sympathy earlier.

"Well you're quite the eager whore ain't you?" He remarked. "Would you lay back and spread your legs on that work top there for any man that asked a small favour of you like shining his shoes or unbuckling his belt?"

Beth looked down, that self-loathing coming back and hitting her like a violent tidal wave. Tears came into her eyes relentlessly and there was no hiding them, they fell onto her cheeks but she did not let out any noise. Percy laughed a little again, coming forward and tilting her chin up so the tears glistening in the dull bulb light.

"My my," He laughed. "I was just foolin' with you."

Beth's body trembled, a mixture of anger, humiliation and fear.

"Oh come on now Beth, don't be such a prissy little girl!" He continued, his hands wiping the tears from her eyes. As soon as he touched her skin she felt a sickness rise in her and a defiance to challenge him. Shrinking back from his touch she moved away a little and she said at last.

"Don't touch me, your hands smell, I don't need that sticking to my skin like it's sticking to yours."

His head craned a little from side to side, the neck muscles constructing and she saw his eyes darken.

"You should mind that mouth, someone could slap it shut." He growled.

"I mind many things Mr Wetmore," She replied, making every word the hateful barb she intended it to. "I mind a man who walks in here lily white reeking of piss and thinking I don't know how he got to be that way. I mind a man who struts around barely at the shoulder height of any other guard hoping he'll grow bigger than any of them. But most of all I mind a man who clung to me just now like a kiddy crying for his momma, only I seen your momma and your sister with you in the street ain't I? We looked strikingly similar in certain lights."

A blow would come from him now; she knew that, she braced herself for whatever it was. It would be worth it for she said what was on her mind; her appearance was similar to that of the women in his family. Beth had assumed that something deep within him followed her for that reason. Yet when the moment passed she realised nothing came from him. In fact when she looked up at him, it was like the wind had been lost from his sails. Whatever happened back there on the mile had taken such a toll on him that he did not have the fight now for what she had levelled at him. But then a cold, stark feeling hit her down her spine and she chilled from head to toe. He would remember this moment; he would save it for another time. There was already anger stored there for others; she could see that, now there was a place for her in it too.

Percy left the room and she listened to his footsteps echo into the distance and once they were truly from earshot her body gave way from fear and she sank to the floor. Behind her the water in the basin bubbled and burbled and her own heart hammered in her chest. Every muscle and bone ached from the tremors of the humiliation and anti-climax of their altercation; she would carry these feelings until he acted on his for sure.

Beth buried her head in her hands and the tears fell, her cries muffled by her fingers though she was sure no one would be around to hear them either way. That voice came close to her ear again, whispering its harsh taunt.

" _Beth."_

In short second intervals it jeered her a few more times and she threw her hands from her face and begged quietly.

"Leave me be!"

"I'm sorry… I…"

The familiar voice of Brutal Howell made her jerk in surprise, her tear stained face snapping up in mortification. Clambering to her feet she wiped at her cheeks furiously with her sleeve and fumbled to compose herself. Brutal still waited by the door watching her, feeling his gaze.

"What do you need Mr Howell?" She sniffed, looking at him now in an effort for composure.

"I came looking for Percy, Boss' orders."

"I believe…" She stammered. "I haven't seen him."

Brutal dipped his head out the doorway and looked up and down the corridor; seeing no one was around he stepped in and closed the laundry room door.

"You sure? Wharton put a scare on him." He explained.

"Wharton put a scare on him?" She murmured. "I could bless Wharton if that were true."

"Wharton is not a man anyone should bless." He remarked.

"Nor is your Warden." She replied sarcastically then closing her eyes she took a moment. "Mr Howell, I believe Mr Wetmore went to change his particulars so he could be square on the mile. I am sure he will be back soon."

Brutal came closer to her now, examining her from head to foot. She saw how he looked at the visible part of her neck and throat, her bare forearms and finally her face. She knew full well what he was looking for, but Percy had left no physical signs upon her.

"Did something happen in here?" He asked, the man was not the kind to pussyfoot around she could see that.

"I appreciate your concern Mr Howell, but I am fine, I think perhaps Mr Wetmore is too."

Her eyes did not look at his when she said this, they were aimed somewhere in the area of his broad chest so he would not see the lie in her eyes. His hand tilted her chin upward so she looked at him and all at once she felt a flush of colour return to her face. It was such a gentle action that she was awed by it, for a man of his stature suggested great movements rather than graceful ones.

"We have a sayin' here, what happens on the mile stays on the mile. So you let me know if anything is not as it should be."

Beth couldn't be sure whether he was asking her or telling her his but she found herself nodding at him, the exhaustion of the previous half hour now overwhelming her. Her eyes closed and she could feel the weariness wash over her and her entire body felt heavy as though her bones were leads weights. Everything about her seemed to disappear except the immediate space in front of her, this included Brutal. With a heavy sigh she felt herself coming forward and wanting to relent her burden physically on a weight that could take even an ounce. When her eyes opened and she realised her evident vulnerability before a relative stranger she began to draw back, but she was stopped.

Brutal had taken hold of the tops of her shoulders with his huge hands to steady her and edging himself forward he allowed her to rest her forehead against his expansive chest. Her eyes closed again and she allowed the supportive relief envelop her.


	6. Mr Jingles

**Chapter 5**

It didn't take long the following morning for Percy to corner her, his composure returned to that of old, if not a little more self-satisfied. Beth knew that look well enough, something was brewing. As she moved to leave the store room near the back office on the Mile, he put his arm out to block her exit route and put a finger to his lips. In the distance she could here Paul Edgecomb and Del speaking to one another, Brutal with them. It relieved her a little, for being in earshot felt safer than being out the way in the laundry room away from E block.

"You wanna know why you're back here today?" He asked, a smile broadened on his face.

"I don't, but you're sure as hell gonna tell me I'm sure." Beth had little patience today, she had struggled to sleep at all following yesterday's events and it would be a fine day indeed if Percy kept his snide comments and harassment to a minimum.

"Toot is sick, sounds like he will be for a while yet." He explained slowly, brushing a tendril of hair from her face and tucking it behind her ear. "You're going to be E block based for a while."

"I was already based in E block, what's your point?" She grated, trying to get past him but he moved to block her again with his lithe frame.

"I was just thinkin' it was fortunate I got you this job, now look how it's worked; we'll see each other every day nearly."

"I was fine with the amount we were seeing each other already." She replied and with a light push, he let her past with a chuckle. Walking to the back office, Paul and Del's conversation grew more audible to her and she could hear them discussing Mr Jingles. When Brutal's voice joined in she stopped by the door and eavesdropped and what followed was a touching exchange between the three that reminded her that even in a place like this, there was care for the inmates from the guards, well except Percy. Brutal's narration to Del about Mouseville and Mr Jingles' future success there only warmed her all the more in good feeling towards him. He had proven himself kind to her only a day earlier.

In a flash she saw Percy walk by and she ducked a little into the office so he would not catch her out. Del's warm tones of excitement were perceptible to her ears and as he laughed she heard the sound of something roll along the floor, then the firm tread of Percy's gait.

 _Stomp!_

Del's voice wailed out an utterly broken tirade of sorrow and a struggle was heard, Beth could not help but look around the door down the Mile. Harry and Dean had moved forward and Brutal was pulling a crying Del back into his cell. She watched as Percy lifted his foot, revealing the crumpled, crushed body of Mr Jingles beneath it. Del's wails became too much and the sight of triumph on Percy's face was unbearable. Quietly she ducked round from the office and into the corridor, covering her mouth with her hand and feeling tears pricking at her eyes.

"I knew I'd get him sooner or later, just a matter of time really." Percy's taunt followed her from down the Mile.

"YOU FUCKING CRUEL BASTARD!" Del yelled in response, still she stood there, hand clamped over her mouth. Something about Percy's phrasing suggested a resolve he followed in all his endeavours. A sickening sense that that would include herself chilled her.

Lost in thought as she was, she didn't realise Percy had turned the corner and was upon her within a moment. Her head turned towards him and at the look of amusement on his face she slowly withdrew her hand from her mouth and did her best to harden her expression.

"What you lollygagging at?" He asked, then coming up to her he took her arm and bundled her into the Old Sparky's room. When she didn't answer and moved away from him he repeated his question.

"I am looking at you Percy, God knows I wish you weren't the sight I was seeing."

For a second he looked at her, a far cry from how he had looked yesterday. In the laundry room he had looked hatefully towards her, now there was a gleam in his eyes of defiance and daring.

"Now that is not very nice, you don't have any idea the trouble it took to get you this job." He explained slowly, invading her space to the point where she could feel his breath on her face. He placed a hand on her waist and bent his head to be near her ear. "Girl's like yourself can find it a cold world without a friend like me."

For a moment, Beth lost the ability to breath, it was a struggle to swallow but she forced the rising lump back down. She merely waited, his hand still rested on her waist and his breath fell heavy and low near her ear but she did not respond, she would not. There was a sense growing in the air between them that he was tempted to kiss her, if he tried, she was not sure what she would do. Instead she remained statuesque; withdrawn to a place he could not get to however hard he tried.

Her mind travelled back to the previous day, stood with her forehead pressed against the chest of Brutus Howell. His hands on her shoulders lightly, holding her steady as he waited. Beth had closed her eyes and felt the inhale and exhale of his chest and she could smell the recently cleaned freshness of his jacket.

" _I think it might be best if you sit down."_ He had suggested and leaving her a moment, he'd brought a chair in for her. Once she had seated herself, he had leant by the counter a little opposite her and waited.

" _I'm sorry. I just felt a little bit faint for a minute there."_

" _I can see that. Maybe you should try tellin' me what's been going on?"_

" _There's nothing to tell."_

" _I don't buy that."_ Brutal had replied softly, but with a firmness that she knew was not going to be fooled whatever she said. She had likely been broadcasting far more in her silent moments than in her attempts at covering her distress with words _. "You know Boss likes to keep a civility on the Mile, if there's something Percy is doing to hustle that, I need to know."_

" _You know enough of Percy to know he just likes to make himself known wherever he goes, that's all he is tryin' Mr Howell."_ Beth wished now she had not lied, Percy had moved nearer to her ear, his cheek grazing hers slightly. She wasn't sure if she'd scream or be sick. _"I thank you for your concern though."_

"I've left a gift on the mile for you, somethin' to make your time here worthwhile." Percy sneered. "Why don't you go out there an' take a look. Though you might want a dustpan and a cloth too."

"I know full well what you done, Percy." She retorted in a harsh whisper, turning her head away from him.

"Like I said just now, it was a matter of time." He chuckled further and now with disgust she looked him square in the eye.

"You think you're Mr Hotshot now? Stepping on a little mouse?"

Percy backed away, holding up his hands in amusement. He was walking towards Old Sparky and began idly polishing the arm.

"Go on, get to it." He ordered. "I have matters to attend to myself."

Grabbing what she needed, Beth bolted from the room and into the corridor. Amid Percy's little boast, she had lost track of the goings on out on the mile. Del no longer cried and instead there was a firm tread of two men walking in her direction. Now was the time to appear composed and as she was about to turn on the Mile, Brutal and Paul Edgecombe met her.

"Percy is in there." She pointed, her eyes meeting with Brutal's, though she saw Paul looking at her inquisitively. No other words passed between them, she watched the two men walk into the chamber where Old Sparky lay and she moved onto the Mile. Harry and Dean were still at the desk and she stopped to address them.

"I understand there is a mess out here."

"There was." Harry explained, he looked awestruck and she couldn't tell why. Looking to Dean she saw he was likewise dumbfounded.

"Is Del alright?" Beth asked quietly. "I heard about the mouse."

"The mouse?" Harry said lightly, still seeming confused. "He's…. he's fine."

Beth could see at the present they were too preoccupied to give her a straight answer, looking down the Mile she could see a small spot that Percy must have been referring to. Walking towards it with the dustpan and rags in hand she saw that there was no sign of the crushed mouse, only a small pool of blood and fluid where it had lain. To the side of her she could hear whispering and turning her head she saw Del cradling Mr Jingles in his hands, whispering reassurance covertly. Catching the Cajun's gaze she smiled and said quietly.

"I'm pleased he's alright, Del."

Del nodded in response, still traumatised from what had occurred and he returned to communing with his mouse friend. Beth knelt down and began cleaning the stain off the tiles, she tried to not to imagine what discussion was occurring between the three in Old Sparky's chamber. If Percy was going to learn any lesson even after this, she found it hard to believe. Working for a minute she brought up the tile clean as a whistle but whilst the two wardens down the Mile were distracted by their own thoughts, they forgot about what the presence of a woman may have on certain inmates.

"Well looky here." A small voice said from nearby and Beth's stomach dropped when she realised she was practically knelt on all fours not far from Wharton's cell. Certainly near enough to give him some kind of view anyway. "I've been waiting for you."

Beth went cold all over, her nervous energy flowing into mimicking cleaning a stain that was no longer there. She heard Wharton move nearer to the bars and she could feel his filthy gaze on her.

"Why don't you kneel on over here?" He jeered, she turned her head now to look at him, his rotting teeth forming into a hideous grin. "I got something here I could give you."

Beth said nothing but her gazed was locked with his; he was like a serpent, hideous yet macabrely engaging. He was the predator whose prey could not take their eyes from until it was too late. His hand reached through the bar a little and beckoned.

"Come on over here, I think there's something you can give me… pretty little thing." He chuckled, a laugh that made her feel sick. Beth knelt upwards now, her hands resting limp on her lap as she gazed on him in horror. "The things I'd have you do, little girl. I'd fuck you til there was nothing left."

Something in her knew that for all Percy was the enemy behind her in that other room, however much he taunted and terrified her. Right there in that cell, beckoning to her like the devil himself was pure evil. It was a mistake coming out onto the Mile, yet as she sat she now knew full well why. In attempting to kill Mr Jingles, Percy had not only had reeked payback on Del for laughing at him, but also on her for trying to show him sympathy. For what could be worse than luring her into a situation where she would be face to face with Wharton, to hear his foul words, even if there were bars between them? In that moment, her view changed, the pair of them were two of a kind. Wharton could be evil in his actions inspired by the devil in his soul, but so was Percy, he was just subtler and more calculating.

Footsteps sounded and Paul and Brutal came round the corner, no sign of Percy. She looked towards them and saw Paul staring right at her, then to Wharton. He gave a nod to Brutal who moved towards her and he turned his attention to Harry and Dean's lapse in judgement.

"Why the hell are you letting her on the mile so near Wharton's cell?" Paul asked in the background, but the conversation was lost as Brutal walked past her and hit his baton against the bars of Wharton's cell.

"Back to your bunk Wild Bill!" He barked, then moving towards Beth, he offered her a hand to help her up. "Who sent you down here?"

Beth looked back towards where the three men were conversing but she knew Brutal would guess her meaning. In a moment she found her shoulders taken between Brutal's hands in the caring manner of yesterday and he looked her straight in the eye.

"Listen to me now, whatever he wants you to do… whatever he asks, you square it with Boss or myself first. Harry and Dean shouldn't have let you down here… they were… distracted. It's not safe on the mile for you, okay?"

Beth nodded, now caught in the gaze with a man who seemed to have such a power about him, a power that was not at all influenced by his status on this Mile. It was a natural grace and command he had, an ownership over every word said and action he took. The way he had spoken to Del before Percy's cruelty. She could see he was a kind man and in those words he spoke now and his actions yesterday, she felt a rush of fond feeling for him.

"Yes Mr Howell." She accented, nodding her head and she felt him release her shoulders gently. Picking up her things she wandered from the mile, aware that four pairs of eyes followed her wondering just how the hell she had ended up in a place like this.


	7. Chances

**Chapter Six**

The next time Beth came onto the Mile, the smell was unbearable. She had imagined the worst smell possible after an execution, but nothing prepared her for this. Paul Edgecomb had requested she not be brought back onto the Mile until after Delecroix's execution. But now she had returned she could feel that the atmosphere on the Mile was toxic too. She passed the duty desk where Harry sat minding the Mile and walked into the back office to assess what needed tidying, she found Dean and Paul sat waiting. Paul took one look at her and stood up.

"Elizabeth, isn't it?"

"Yes Mr Edgecomb."

"I apologise for the state of the Mile this morning and for not allowing you to be around yesterday." He explained.

"It's your Mile Mr Edgecomb, you do as you see fit."

"But it has come to my attention that things have been untoward in more ways than one regarding our Mr Wetmore. I do not wish to go into particulars but last night things here took a very wrong turn due to Percy."

Beth shuddered and he noticed, there was another empty cell on the Mile now and she pitied the poor man who had vacated it. Paul was still looking at her and he continued.

"Brutal has mentioned and it has not gone unnoticed by myself that Percy has also been causing you some trouble. I apologise for this. Our man Toot it seems has developed a prolonged gut ache that seems to mainly manifest itself when he's expected on the Mile. I find this is too much of a coincidence considering what happened with Mr Jingles the other day. Is there anything you would like to tell me?"

"Have… have you spoken to Per… Mr Wetmore about this?" Beth stammered, she saw Dean looking at her and she felt quite faint. Paul offered her his recently vacated chair and once she was seated, he leaned on the desk near her looking concerned.

"I have not." Paul replied at last, "I felt it would not be the best until I had more information. Besides as you can probably see… things are untoward enough as it is.

Paul paused a second before continuing.

"Has Percy said or done anything untoward with you?"

This was her opportunity; somehow of all the people, she felt she could have explained to Paul Edgecomb the whole tale of her history with Percy Wetmore but what could he actually do? Percy was Louisiana's First Lady's nephew, if sabotaging Delecroix didn't send him off the block, his terrorising her wouldn't do it. Her heart was touched by Paul's attempt to help but there was little point.

"I… I do not mind Mr Wetmore, that is, if he chooses to make a nuisance of himself I choose to think little of it." She explained, looking Paul square in the eye and trying her hardest to appear believable.

"Forgive me, Elizabeth but I don't quite believe that."

"Maybe you don't but excuse my frankness, unless you're able to change the past, you cannot change a thing." She explained.

"What does that mean?" Dean asked softly, looking concerned. Beth felt a lump grow in her throat but she forced it down and vowed to make the conversation lighter. That story would have to be told another time to another person, who that was she could not say. But the here and now, the story was irrelevant.

"I mean men like Percy are that way sometimes, I often find it especially with shorter ones. They wanna be a lion but just end up a caterwauling alley cat."

Somehow her last utterances made Paul and Dean laugh; she had hit the nail on the head when describing Percy. But two days earlier she felt they would have chuckled heartily, now after Del's death though, it was a more cynical laughter, just as her words had been. Paul placed his hand on her shoulder and meeting her gaze again with a look of kindness he said.

"I would appreciate it then if whilst Toot is not here; if you need to go on the Mile, that myself or Brutal is present too, not just Harry and Dean. They both know I mean no disrespect, but Wharton is not a person's cell to be getting to close to. Even if it's ordered by Percy."

"Yes, Mr Edgecomb."

"It's Paul." He replied in a friendly way. "I like a civil Mile, Elizabeth; I will not have any more of Percy's games. Besides, he'll be movin' on soon."

"Movin' on?"

"Did he not tell you, Percy's planning a transfer to Briar Ridge."

As though the name called the devil, Percy's whistling could be heard coming through the door to E block and his tread sounded on the tiles of the Green Mile. It was a quieter whistling than he'd done before, but clearly the fact that he was still allowed on the Mile at all by Hal Moores made him think he was free from it going on his record. Beth's stomach turned and yet she felt strength in her for a moment.

"Do you need the chamber cleaning, Mr Edgecomb?"

"Some of it was taken care of last night; Brutal is in there sortin' the rest…"

Paul didn't finish his sentence as Percy appeared in the office, he looked at the three who were in conversation and he added.

"Don't mind me."

"We don't mind you Percy." Paul barked in response, not looking at Wetmore for any second. "Now get in here and you can write up your official part of last night."

Beth walked by Percy without giving him as much as a glance and she moved to Old Sparky's chamber. Her stomach curdled as the smell became more concentrated, but if they could stomach it, so could she. In truth, had it not been the result of Percy's vindictiveness, Beth felt she could likely have risen above it altogether. From the doorway she saw Brutal armed with a mop, he was making swift, deliberate movements but his face was wrought with preoccupation. Here was a man who needed to talk, he likely already had done to Paul but the burden still seemed heavy. He had liked Delecroix, whilst the inmate lived here, Brutal had clearly decided to look beyond the crime and try and see the man humbled, awaiting justice. She felt she needed his permission before she disturbed him and she cleared her throat lightly. Brutal looked up from his task, his brow knotted but he did not seem angry at being disturbed.

"I thought you might need a hand." Beth suggested, "But I can come back if…"

"I'd appreciate that, I want to get this place shaped up, there'll be no forgetting it though." He explained, continuing to mop again.

Instead of making a bee line for the other mop resting by the wall, Beth walked straight towards Brutal and feeling like it was the right thing to do, she rested a hand on his forearm. Her touch stopped Brutal dead and he looked up at her, a fleeting moment of feeling crossed his face.

"You must want to kill him."

"I got a hit last night that was a start…"

"I didn't notice."

"Just a bust lip, Paul stopped me." Brutal said with dissatisfaction. "I should've done it sooner."

"You'd have been on the bread line; it wouldn't have been worth it."

"Del fried in this chair in agony because of Percy, he had to pay what he owed but not like that. That is enough to make me question how much it would be worth it."

Beth realised her hand still rested on Brutal's arm and the more they discussed it, the more he struggled to keep his composure. But from what she knew, the others all went home to their wives, how had he spent last night? No doubt he spent it in solitude with only the memory of Del's death and the injustice of justice's execution being sabotaged.

"Would you mind stopping that for a minute?" Beth asked, not knowing where this bravery was coming from. In this mood, his daunting frame seemed larger than ever and as he rested the mop against Old Sparky and turned to look at her, she felt her nerves flare up. Yet now was not the time for her sensibilities, he had taken a moment to check on her only days earlier, now she would return it in kind. Looking at him she saw his reluctance to look her full in the face, but with a bit of time his eyes slowly met hers. Underneath them were signs of sleeplessness and his face was a paler pallor than normal.

"Del had to be square with the house again, I know that, I been here long enough to understand that. I just hate how men like Percy…"

"There's no end to that sentence Mr Howell." She remarked, trying to soothe him. "I think… these thoughts of the injustice would build the ego of anyone who had perpetrated it as such, they feed off it. But him…. The time will come, you can all square what he did with the house as you put it."

"You don't seem to have squared it with Percy yet."

This remark startled her, she should not be surprised he would comment on it but it still threw her and her hand recoiled from his arm like she had been burnt. They looked at one another a moment and she realised that he imagined as did the others that there was possibly something between herself and Percy. What could they imagine? That he had made her fall in love with him but now she was merely the side piece of a spineless little man who wanted to be top dog? Never had love been less present in a situation than between herself and Percy Wetmore and at the prospect of this thought, Beth laughed cynically.

"No." She said stifling her laughter for it was awkward and painful to boot. "I suppose I haven't."

Beth moved to take up the mop but Brutal put a large hand on her shoulder to stop her in her tracks. This movement was firmer and it made her jump again. She saw he seemed both angry and concerned in equal measure, but at who and why she wasn't so sure now. For the first time she saw that perhaps this place took its toll on even the strongest men, for Brutal and Paul both seemed more careworn today than usual.

"Beth." He said as he stopped her and she offered him a small smile. There seemed little the other could say at that point that would make any sense or difference. Turning to him fully once more, still maintaining the smile, she put out her hand.

"I think we need a partnership, Mr Howell."

He looked at her a minute, his face almost lightening as he understood her meaning.

"What would be the terms?" He asked, his voice sounding more himself.

"That we mop this godforsaken floor and do not give another immediate thought to Percy Wetmore."

When Brutal's large hand consumed her own in the handshake, she felt that rush of fondness for him flood her with a much greater intensity and for a moment the fifteen or sixteen years she imagined separated them as well as their roles on this Mile seemed to vanish. They were equals, each with a mop in hand; it was a humbling yet pleasant feeling. A stark contrast to the environment around them.

"You have a deal there." He answered. "But call me Brutus, or Brutal if you prefer."


	8. Conversation

**Chapter 7**

The autumn sun broke bright on Cold Mountain early that Saturday as Beth walked onto the Mile. As a favour to Paul she had come in to do some cleaning whilst the residents of the Mile were taken to shower at scattering intervals. Under strict instruction she was to stay away from Wharton's cell but was to clean through John Coffey's. Harry, Dean and two other floaters took charge of Coffey and when she arrived, she already found Brutal sat at the duty desk. Looking at him she saw he appeared more himself than two days previous, his eyes were keener and the bags were not so dark and drawn beneath them.

"Good mornin'." He said as she came in and she already knew why he was more happy than usual, it was Percy's day off aswell as Paul's. Down the Mile she could see Harry and Dean putting Coffey's cuffs on to walk him out the block.

"Good mornin' yourself." She replied with a smile, the dank green tiles seeming less sombre without Percy's tread contaminating the place. "You seem in a finer mood today."

"I somehow managed a good night's sleep is all." Brutal explained and getting up he came to stand by her as Coffey was lead up the Mile. The group stopped nearby and Dean addressed Brutal.

"I'll clock out after we've brought Coffey here back, you still alright to come by later and help with the dead branch?"

"Sure thing, not sure you'll reach it by yourself." Brutal joked, then turning to address John he asked. "How you doin' today big guy?"

"Not too bad, Boss."

Coffey looked at Beth and she at him, he had a vacant look about him for a fleeting time but then said to her.

"You bakin' pies today?"

The men all looked at Beth as she appeared taken aback by this remark, it was true she was going to help her friend Dolores bake some pies from the apples that had fallen during the week. But how was Coffey to know that?

Looking to Brutal she made sure she was allowed to address him, he nodded.

"Yes I am. Mainly apple but possibly a peach cobbler too."

"I likes apple pie, don't remember when I last had it though." This remark of Coffey's was more like a man trying to recollect something he'd lost, not a hint that he would want some bringing.

"Me too John." Brutal replied with a small smile.

"And me, why Beth here was kind enough to bring my wife some last week from our mutual friend Mrs Faber. So it's been an apple pie week in my house."

John smiled a little, a sad smile as though he still could not recollect. Despite what had just occurred and the strangeness of Coffey's knowledge, Beth found Brutal looking at her rather than the gargantuan inmate.

"You go on for your shower now, John." He continued. "Dean, clock out when you're done and I'll see you in a few hours."

The group lead Coffey off the Mile, its only other occupant still asleep it seemed. Beth hoped she could be in and done before he woke.

"I'll come down that end with you." Brutal explained, turning his attention back to Beth once the door of E block had closed.

"Its fine, I can get on, you'll be here anyways should I need you."

"We don't tend to let anyone walk down a cell on their own."

"Very well." She accepted with a nod. "It's a deal."

Brutal followed her to the storeroom where she fetched the mop and bucket and once filled he insisted carrying it down the Mile. Wharton was snoring on his bunk, his legs sprawled out and his arms over his face. Beth barely gave him a glance of longer than a few seconds as they passed, he made her shudder even in slumber. Never in all her life would she forget those nasty, drawled words of his. Brutal waited as she began to mop, though where possible he helped her with the cell door and at a few other points.

"I imagine you don't see much apple pie these days." Beth remarked as she mopped, Brutal leaned in the doorway of the cell. "Your mother bake much when you were a kid?"

"Never stopped, my father said her cooking called for the loosenin' of notches on his belt."

Beth laughed, she saw his lips upturn but he couldn't quite relax, his eyes continually glancing back to Wharton's cell.

"There'll be plenty, I'll bring one onto the Mile for you boys."

"That would be gratefully received on a long shift." Brutal replied. "Dean said you lived near him, I didn't realise you knew each other."

Beth laughed again, this time more at her own expense than anything else. Brutal watched her for a moment and she stuck the mop into the bucket and wiped fallen tendrils of her dark hair from her face.

"I don't live anywhere near as nice as round there, my friend does. I go and do jobs for her sometimes in the week, pick apples this time of the year and help her bake. She was good to me as a kid, still is now."

Her explanation was conducted in a more matter of fact way rather than nostalgic and Beth began to feel she was maybe coming across as a little too blunt.

"No folks about here?" Brutal asked, taking the mop from her whilst she stripped the sheet from Coffey's bed, tossing it onto the Mile and replacing it with a fresh one.

"My mom died when I was fifteen, my father is one of those American mysteries. You got much family around?"

"A sister not far away, I see her fairly often."

"Strange." She remarked. "I saw you having a wife and a brood of kids like Dean."

Realising this may have been too personal a remark she blushed heavily and was about to babble an apology but he gestured with his hand to say none was necessary.

"None that I'm aware of." He joked. "I've no more a wife than you have a secret engagement with Percy."

Beth shook and tucked the sheet into the mattress thoroughly, choosing to ignore that last comment. It was true; there was no engagement, nor even a relationship with that bastard to speak of, but she wouldn't even respond to the idea of it. It wasn't meant to be rude, but the idea was even too horrible to contemplate for she knew that in some way Percy wanted to sink himself into her.

"I wish you'd tell us what your deal is with him." Brutal continued. "Paul can't understand him, I see it clearly I think. Little and mean for starters."

Beth finished up Coffey's cell still saying nothing, Brutal picked up the mop and bucket and she the discarded sheets and they walked back to the top in silence. When Brutal returned from replacing the mop to its rightful place, she was waiting for him by the duty desk.

"You know yourself in this time jobs are scarce, Percy got me in here and I suppose I just have to put up with a bit of his way out of gratitude." She explained frankly, she wasn't annoyed, only saddened that no discourse could seem to pass from her without involving that man.

"But you've known him from before?"

"Yes I have, I've known him a little while and from where he and I both know…."

"I'm sorry." Brutal cut in, seeing his questions had ruffled her feathers or at the very least broken the pleasant exchange they were having. He seemed kind enough not to push it at this point but she knew that they all were curious about her and Percy's history. "Don't let's mention him again; we can go back to talking about apple pie."

"There's a world of things beyond pie we can talk about, Brutus." She replied and she realised it was the first time she had not called him Mr Howell. They regarded one another for a long moment, she still with the sheets bundled up in her hands.

"Are you going to be here for a few hours?" He asked. "I've another 3 before Bill Dodge comes to take over."

"I've a few things to do." She replied, her hands unknown to him were grasping the fabric tightly as she was shaking a little for reasons she didn't understand fully. Brutal came to stand a bit closer to her, his frame dwarfing her and making her feel like glass next to steel. Beth wondered if he knew how handsome he was, she'd heard it said he was a former football player in his youth; it's why she was surprised there was no Mrs Howell waiting at home.

"I am heading over to Dean's as you heard, I can drive you to your friend's, it would save you getting the bus."

"That's very kind." She replied. "Though you know I was sending that pie before you offered, right?"

His next words surprised her.

"I'm not doing it in the hope of getting some pie."

Beth didn't dare respond in a way or encourage him to expand on his meaning; she would worry that if he did she would blush so deeply that she would betray the very feeling that was building every time she saw him. The last few exchanges between them had relaxed her again in one way but made her a bundle of nerves in the other. Despite the faded green linoleum, the dim lights and the sleeping monster only metres from them, such a pleasant exchange was occurring. Yet that age old sensation slithered down her spine and she felt that presence creep up behind her, whispering harshly in her ear.

"Beth."

She jumped at the sound and her face went from contentment to panic, she could read the confusion in Brutal's face as her whole demeanour changed. Struggling to compose her own self fright she fisted the fabric in her hands and took in a deep breath.

"Sorry." She said trying to laugh. "I do feel… you know that feelin' of someone walkin' over your grave… must be a draft from the door…"

"It's alright." Brutal replied, scanning her face from a little distance to check she was indeed well. She glanced onto the linoleum and saw both of their shadows stretching out on the mile before them, Brutal's towering over hers. Beth expected to see a third slinking away from her as smooth as it had crept upon her only a moment earlier. A burbled groan came from the only current inhabited cell and Beth took this as her cue.

"I… I'll be back later."

Without another word or look at him she bolted from E block as fast as she could whilst appearing composed. The yard was empty and she dashed across it to the laundry room, the colour feeling like it was draining from her face. The inner fight began now, the combat between the warmth she had just exchanged in conversation with Brutal versus the cold bitter past of her memory.


	9. Journey

**Chapter 8**

" _Beth."_

" _Beth."_

" _Beth?"_

 _Her eyes opened with an aching haziness in the sockets. The bright light which intruded made everything a blur, as though someone had put everything around her in a bag and shaken it. She wanted to put her hand up to shield her eyes but it ached so badly like it was free from its socket. Above her she could make out a blurred shape, around her she could hear her name been uttered like a distant echo. The pain seemed to appear in other parts of her body too, what had happened to her? She could only remember one thing, the laughter had faded, and the smile had vanished. Then everything had gone twisted and black. The voice was closer now, so close to her ear she could feel the warm breath and it called more demandingly._

" _Beth!"_

A bump in the road roused her, her heavy eyes seeming to roll a little in their sockets. The murmur of the engine and the warmth of the car were the first things she noticed, then remembering where she was her eyes snapped open with sudden mortification.

"Welcome back." A rueful voice remarked and turning her slightly stiff neck she observed Brutal in the driver's seat, his eyes had a glimmer of amusement in them. "It's not often someone falls asleep after only a few minutes of my company."

"Sorry." She replied, pulling herself up in her own seat and looking out the window, the Fall sun was visible through some thick cloud and she could see it was just past its peak. They were nearly on Dean and Dolores' street.

"I'm just foolin' with you. Is there somewhere better I can drop you? Home maybe if you need the rest."

"I've rested." She said gratefully, rubbing her neck and trying to shake off the last part of what she had just remembered in her dream.

"Of course, there's pies to be made." He continued with a small chuckle. "You're young, you'll be alright."

"I doubt your bones are that old."

"You need a strong frame on the Mile, though I've not had to use it much lately 'til Wharton came on it."

"Did Paul call you Brutal first?"

"You know, it's been so long I can't remember."

"Never mind old bones, if you're forgetting maybe you have an old man's mind." She joked and glancing sideways she caught him smiling even whilst he focused on the road. Her eyes moved to his hands that now rested on the wheel, they were things to behold. Long, slender fingers fixed to a large palm, she imagined only Coffey's hands could dwarf them. Dropping her eyes to her own which rested now in her lap, she felt like a child, they were sleight but hard work made them worn.

"How old do you imagine I am?" He asked.

"I don't think you'd care for me to answer that."

"Well I'd put you about twenty one or there abouts."

"Do you assume that because that's how old Percy is?"

"I figured you may have known each other a fair while."

"I'm actually older than him, only I haven't given up my looks for meanness to age me." She explained and Brutal mulled this over for a moment neither looking amused nor displeased. At last he gave her a quick glance and she saw his eyes still holding that glimmer even whilst his face was straight.

"How old are you then?"

"I'm twenty four."

"Still young."

Beth laughed a little to herself, she didn't feel young, she felt older in her bones some days than he likely did.

"Forty?" She asked, glancing sideways to him again and whenever it was a good time he looked at her.

"About that." He replied. "I forget sometimes."

"There's still time."

"For what?"

"Men get married still at your age; have kids an' that if that's what you want."

"Shall I drive us to a chapel then?" Brutal joked back, then he clamped his mouth shut. He looked a little flushed as she felt she was too, somehow this conversation had gotten romantic in sentiment, even if only in jest.

"I'll consider it."

As those words fell from her lips both of them fell into an extended silence, things seemed to have shifted very suddenly. Her eyes remained on the road ahead and from the corner of her eye when she dared to consult it she could see he was doing the same. They pulled onto the street familiar to them both, the silence now becoming difficult to bear.

"Dolores only lives a few doors down; I'll walk from Dean's."

Brutal pulled up and switched off the engine and as soon as the car was soundless Beth got out. By the time she had come round to the sidewalk Brutal was out and had closed the door. She practically collided with him and they both took a step back looking each other in the eye again. It wasn't without awkwardness but seeing eye to eye again also brought about a relief. In her madness to forget her dream, she had forgotten herself.

"Thank you for bringin' me, it was kind of you." She said with a struggled smile, only difficult for she feared she might betray an accompanying blush. Brutal came a little nearer to her, still in his uniform coat looking quite the authoritarian.

"You take care now." He said more formally and somehow that sped any moment they had had far away into the distance. It seemed friendly and general after the close shared humour in the car; it pained her a little if she was truthful with herself. Beth turned and walked off towards Dolores' house, seeing as she passed through the gate that he still remained there, watching her until she got to the door, ever the warden.

Once inside, her friend's arms went about her in a loving greeting, but she could feel her heart pounding in her chest from what had just passed. It was inevitable, when confronted with a kind man it was natural that she should find some relief in that. Yet relief did not seem the only thing to be growing. But when he behaved one minute so friendly and the next so formal it stung deep within her. Her natural disposition these days was to be friendly but not open, yet somehow that Mile had broken into her a little, or had Percy torn away part of the veneer?

The afternoon passed idly with her friend, concealed in her narrow yet ample kitchen they made and baked four apple pies with the remainder of the apples from the tree. Outside it looked finer when they were done and armed with fresh lemonade, they sat on the porch together.

"You seem preoccupied today?" Dolores noted, resting her hand on her friend's knee. "Livin' in the past again?"

"It's rearin' its head a little, yes."

"Often I find it does that when something is new to the heart, why else would we call up old demons."

"You could say that."

"Is it a fella?"

"You might say that too." Beth said, taking a sip of her lemonade and looking down at the apple tree, its branches much sprightlier now they bore no burden. In the distance she could hear the sound of sawing.

"You shouldn't let all that trouble you so, you know." Dolores said kindly. "I know most of it and I don't see you as any different, how could you help it?"

"By growin' up a little earlier I suppose." Beth sighed, frustrated with herself.

"You grew up enough when it all happen'd."

Their conversation was broken by the sound of men's voices being carried on the air, then a great crack and a rustling thud.

" _You got that Dean?"_

" _Yeah, it's all down!"_

Beth found herself betraying a smile at the distance exchange, Dolores who was up looking over the fence, saw it from the corner of her eye.

"It's not that married Mr Stanton is it?" She warned, her hand going to her hip in disapproval.

"No, no worries there." Beth laughed.

The following hour passed pleasantly, the distance voices of Brutal and Dean occasionally being heard from Dolores Faber's garden. When the time came for Beth to leave she gave her friend an even heartier embrace and clung to her for a minute as she felt particularly vulnerable.

"Now what's all this?"

"I suppose I should jus' thank you more than I do, Dol." Beth uttered, squeezing her tighter. "I am always grateful, you know that right?"

"I know that plenty."

As Beth walked down her friend's garden path she felt a little lighter and began to make her way home. For the rest of the walk she put that dream and her journey with Brutus Howell from her mind, the former was not in her power to change and the latter seemed confusing. The Green Mile was a place of pain and death overseen by some kind men in uniform, all except Percy that was. It was a final resting place for warmer sentiments between men before life was expired in the name of justice. Beth knew she went there to perform her own tasks, a kind of penance orchestrated by her enemy for something she blamed him for as much as herself. It was not the place to open up one's heart.


	10. Drained

_**Author's notes:**_ Thank you to those who have faved, followed or reviewed thus far, in a quiet community such as this it is really appreciated. Reviews are love and I am grateful for the encouragement of mTruely in particular and my close friend VelveteenBunny who is sat by me as I write this.

We're coming onto revelations and those events we all know in upcoming chapters! I hope those of you are enjoying this fic are pleased with the next turns it takes.

 **Chapter 9**

The walk was not too far back to Beth's home, she rented a back room attached to a warehouse that had been meagrely fitted out to rent. It was nothing glamorous but for what she needed and the amount of time she spent there it was enough. She liked especially how the access was private via some stairs at the back of the building; she could come and go as she pleased without much scrutiny at all. Not that anyone in the world was watching her movements or interested in her person. That was except one.

Percy was parked on the street he knew she would have to walk down to gain access to the stairs; having known where she lived for some time. The sun was not quite as hot as it had been but still after waiting nearly an hour in his car he was perspiring, his brill creamed hair becoming damp. Beth saw him from the moment she turned the corner and she vowed she would walk by his car not acknowledging his presence. Did he really have nothing else to do on his days off? Was there not a respectable young woman he could take to the flicker show or go visit his grand relatives in the state? She was nothing; she was no one, no matter what past intertwined them.

As she passed the car, Percy pushed the door a jar and called her by name. Despite her intentions she stopped and looked in his direction.

"Well don't you look beautiful today." He remarked in a slimy tone that set her teeth on edge. Continuing to look at him she waited for whatever purpose he had dragged himself out for. "Fancy comin' out for a drive?"

"I have been busy all day, I'm tired." She answered, she felt sticky and hot from the warmth of the kitchen and her feet ached from being on them.

"Oh come on, I'll wait whilst you freshen up." He said with a sickly smile, "I can either come up or wait right here."

"What would be the point Percy?" She asked. "I don' like you, you know that an' I certainly ain't getting in no car with you."

"Look…" He began, stepping out of the car and edging near to her. "I know we've had our differences…"

"I don't want to hear it Percy!" She snapped, tired and frustrated by his persistent disruption of her life. Her tone changed his expression; he shrugged with an irksome gesture.

"I think you rather owe me, after all it's down to me you're workin' at all."

"So you're saying if I don't come out with you, I'll lose my job?"

"I couldn't quite say." His tone was smug now and she glared at him feeling both enraged yet powerless. She needed that job, lowly as it was she needed some self respecting employment. This job gave her both the money she needed during a time of Depression and the drive to drag herself from bed. The day had already been a mixture of emotions as it was, she didn't need anything else. Walking past him she ushered herself quickly up the stairs and slammed her door shut. Beth rested her body right against its worn frame, exhaling heavily and squeezing her eyes shut.

After a minute she had collected enough of herself that the comfort of her own surroundings mustered within her. Venturing to the sink, she stripped her marked dress from her lithe frame and proceeded to freshen herself up. After several minutes she was changed and her hair swept up and fixed on her head and that was enough to allow her a more positive feeling. As a child her mother had instilled in her to freshen up whenever she got in from a day's events.

' _Cleanliness is next to Godliness.'_ She would say. Beth did not see herself anywhere near God, nor worthy of his attentions but her mother had been right about being clean. A few more minutes passed and she sat reading a volume she had pulled from the library the previous week, but her mind was distracted. Whatever defiance she had shown, she knew Percy would make life difficult for her even more so than he already was. Chewing her lip nervously she felt tears rising to her eyes, when would this stop? That was not all that was niggling away at her either, the business with Brutal in the car, the switch in tone still concerned her. Beth moved to the door almost subconsciously and before she knew where she was she was back at the pavement. Percy's car was still there and he caught her gaze in the wing mirror. Slowly she approached his side and he opened the door again.

"I knew you'd be back." He said his face full of self-satisfaction and she detested him in that moment, he knew as she walked off that she'd be back. "Get in!"

The journey progressed in silence for a few minutes, Percy was smiling to himself as he carefully navigated the busy streets, Beth was hoping no one she knew saw them. Every so often he would glance in her direction but Beth kept her eyes fixed out the window. Childish it perhaps was but she was not going to be relaxed for a moment in his presence, even if she wanted too. But Percy had got her in the car so Percy would get her talking too.

"Have you heard from your brother?" He began and instantly she twinged with discomfort and anger. Is that why he wanted to get her in the car, to torment her further?

"You know I have not, no more than you will have heard from Theo!" Beth grated between her teeth, her hands knotted uncomfortably in her lap, her knees pressed tight together. They fell silent again and Percy focused on driving for the time being. As Beth watched, she realised they were heading out of town and into the greener parts of the area and she felt nervous.

"Where are we going?"

"Just up the way, I thought we could have a walk, maybe talk this out." Percy explained. "I thought it was time to let bygones be bygones."

"I don't think anything is that simple Percy."

Beth heard him tut to himself and he shook his head, the look on his face being difficult to read. She couldn't tell if it was annoyance or… disappointment. After another mile spent in silence, Percy pulled over to a patch of green field where a grass track had been created from regular walkers.

"Shall we take that walk?" Percy asked which felt more like a request and this baffled Beth, at times during this drive he was appearing strikingly uncharacteristic. But this would not sway her; she had known him too many years to not see this as suspicious. Emerging from the car, Beth looked around. The sun was starting to set and a cooler breeze blew past her, brushing wisps of hair against her cheek. It was a beautiful slide into the evening to be sure but looking across as a slyly smiling Percy made her conscious and uneasy.

They followed the direction of the path, Percy taking his place beside her matching her pace whether she slowed or increased it. Clearly he was trying to play the gentleman but it wasn't a role he was ever born to play, even if he was from a 'good' family.

"This is nice." Percy said with a genuine smile. "I think this could be the first of many."

Beth was wishing how she could be on a walk such as this with a much more worthy man, Brutus Howell perhaps. But then, she was not the woman for Brutus Howell. There was a man with a big heart who deserved a straightforward, good woman.

"I don't know, Percy."

Percy stopped and turned towards her and instinctively she stopped too. This was something that had to be exchanged, she had to be brave and face him, even if it meant hell from here on in.

"Look." He began, his voice trying to sound like the height of gentleness and respectability. "I know I have not always played nice whilst you've been working on the Mile. I've pulled your string a few too many times but… I have been tryin' to get your attention."

For a split second, Beth looked at him in surprise then she began to laugh, the preposterousness of his words made it impossible not to. His face descended into a scowl and she saw that cruelty come to his eyes. If she had any sense she would not have allowed herself to even be forced into this excursion by hinted threats. Now she was to pay the price, the real Percy was waiting under the skin of this polite, charming veneer.

"Don't laugh at me!" He growled. "Don't you dare!"

"This was a mistake, Percy. I'd like you to take me home."

Beth turned and started to walk back but he caught her arm in a tight grip and pulled her back.

"Not until I've said what I want to say!" He said, sweeping his hand over his hair as though it had slipped from the way he'd perfected it. He was trying to contain himself but his disturbed energy showed he wasn't able to regulate himself easy. "I know you don't like me, but… you don't get it. Those guys on the Mile make me the butt of their jokes, they have their little club they won't let me be part of. I hate that place, bringin' you on there I thought would make it bearable, I thought we'd know each other better. I've wanted to know you better ever since I was sixteen!"

"I know that!" She snapped back, realising his hand still held her arm and she shook him off, walking away a few steps and feeling her heart hammer so hard in her chest she thought it was burst out. He moved to behind her, she could feel his breath on her neck and the brush of the fabric from his jacket against her dress.

"Beth." He uttered, reaching to circle her wrist with his fingers, his touch made her go cold. Then the memory came.

' _Beth.'_

"Don't say my name, Percy." She said and without realising she found herself begging. "Please."

"I like the sound of it." He whispered near to her ear. "I always have."

"I want you to take me home, Percy." She said, begging again. Beth had never disliked him as much as she did now. What did he want? "I can't like you."

"Because of Theo?" He replied, with more bitterness and petulance in his voice. "Or your brother?"

"Because of you?"

The journey home was filled with a hostile silence, mainly emanating from Percy. He had angered Beth, but he had reopened a chasm she had spent years trying to seal up. Her head turned to looked at him, his sweaty brow and narrowed eyes which now refused to look at her seemed to boar into the road. As town came into view she started to feel a sense of relief, physical danger ebbing into the distance. Percy's temple now appeared to throb beneath the skin. Right now she wondered if he hated her, if he did this would mean a nasty end, but an end was what she longed for.

They were still far from her home when Percy pulled over and demanded in a quiet voice that she get out the car. Without a second request she did just that and was ready to see him speed off. After a moment he scrambled out the car, marching towards her and pinned her against the car painfully by the tops of her arms.

"I don't know if you realise this sweet thing..." He babbled angrily, his body coming to press up against hers and she realised she could feel his arousal against her thigh. His breath was hot on her face and he looked wild with a mixture of emotions. He was frustrated on multiple levels and she had opened the cage that contained it. "I am the only friend you have, you don't have Theo or your brother adoring you, you've been in trouble and I know all the rest remember…"

"Stop it!" She urged, trying to fight him but though he was a weak man, his anger now made him strong enough to keep her in place. The fight seemed to leave her body as his angry lustful eyes drained her of any feeling and she felt one hand move and run from her knee up her thigh, pausing just short of the part she feared her was dying to know.

"I am the only friend you have." He reiterated, leaning close and kissing her lightly on the lips. Beth felt sick. "I am the reason you have a job. In a time like this, you need me, who else do you have?"

They stared at one another, she could feel the heat from all over his body and his eyes still burned with it. He remained against her, one hand on her thigh, the other gripping the top of her arm. Beth despised him, she hoped he could see it.

"No one." She admitted at last. "No one."

When Percy finally released her she finally seemed able to breathe out, her chest hurt and her heart hammered. Tears spilled onto her cheeks silently and she brushed the tendrils of her from her face, feeling abject with humiliation. Beth took one last look at him, Percy Wetmore who was sweating heavily and trying to recover himself, he looked aroused and powerful and she hated him. Turning quickly she walked away from him, it was a fair walk to her home but she didn't care. Her feet ached from the day and now her body hurt likewise but nothing felt worse than the self-respect he'd robbed from her again and again. Now every bit of distance she put between herself and Percy Wetmore was a small mercy.

There was nothing for her but to bear his presence, on the Mile or off it there seemed little escape from him. They had a past woven together, more than she'd like to admit. Wiping further tears from her face she began to run, running until her body was ready to burst.


	11. Allies

**Chapter 10**

Beth laid all night going over the day's events and she realised that her body bore a heaviness more concentrated than she could believe possible in these last few weeks. Yet in equal measure, she had found a strange fondness for being a small part of the interior world of the Green Mile. She knew barely anything of the inmates, and she had only scratched the surface of the lives of its guards, yet for the first time in a long while she felt she belonged.

For a brief time that her eyes had closed her mind played out the sound of a car engine, its lively rattle and hum surrounding her as though she were actually back in the vehicle. Then there was that swerve, that screech of the breaks like an animal tormented and her eyes flew open as her body gave a jerk. There was her heart clammering and battering against her ribs so hard it was painful and her brow was beaded with sweat. When she sat up she realised a few tears were falling from her eyes and she wiped them away impatiently. The heaviness still present had now taken a back seat to a new feeling… no not a new feeling, only a growing, bolder one. Anger.

The seeds had been sewn for a few years now, but only recently had they germinated and taken root. It was growing around her spine, spiralling and twisting around each vertebra. Today she felt that whatever pushed at her she could push back much harder. Yesterday's events would not be today's she was determined in that. She washed and dressed herself, her feet still a little achy from the walk home, yet her mind was drawn to the idea of open spaces and fresh air again. She dressed idly but then caught sight of the arm Percy had taken hold of the day before. There were now deep purple marks from where his bony fingers had pressed right down onto the bone of her upper arm. Her fingers touched one lightly and she felt a slight pain, the anger flared a little again.

By eight o'clock she was dressed and out walking, the small park nearby would offer enough appeasement for what she required. She would steel herself ready for the day but not only that, she would find joy in the sunshine that was rising into a promising morning.

The car swerve and the shriek of the breaks seemed to echo distantly around her and that presence attempted to creep up on her, cast its shadow over her and whisper her name harsh and wanting. Shaking her head she refused to own these sounds and feelings and sitting on the grass of the small green park, she found a bit of peace. A young family came and she watched the father help the two young children chase the last butterflies of the year, they would be gone soon enough as the cold set in. The mother trailed a little behind, looking around at the fading Fall bloom, contented in her situation and it made Beth envious.

Her walk home was pleasant, people bustling around her along the pavements and a car here and there driving by. How she appreciated the animation of the street since seeing the solitary Green Mile with its stale air and circular atmosphere of despair and tedium. Beth thought of Paul Edgecomb as the guardian of such a Kingdom and how he was able to bear it. She thought of Brutus, Harry and Dean too, how they all seemed to look beyond the previous lives of these condemned men and only saw the reduced ones in their cells. They all had a foot in each world and how close they were for it. There were only two of them on the outside looking in, herself and Percy Wetmore. No wonder he had got her the job in the first place.

As she made her way to Cold Mountain that mid afternoon her thoughts fell again to Brutal and she decided to forget the sting that yesterday's formality brought. Today felt like a day to start afresh and see how they would fare in their next encounter with one another.

" _How old are you then?"_

" _I'm twenty four."_

" _Still young."_

" _Forty?"_

" _About that. I forget sometimes."_

" _There's still time."_

" _For what?"_

" _Men get married still at your age; have kids an' that if that's what you want."_

" _Shall I drive us to a chapel then?"_

" _I'll consider it."_

Beth had surprised herself with her boldness, she had not jested so freely since she was a girl. Back in those days she recalled it had not fared well for her in the long run, experience told her she needed to clamp down on getting the better of herself. Yet in that moment, it had seemed like the most natural thing in the world. Brutal had seemed contented to play along until she had clammed up, she had destroyed that moment herself. Such self-sabotage would not happen again.

Upon her arrival she had encountered some of the Infirmary staff who had requested her help for a couple of hours to which she happily obliged and by the time she returned to the Mile it was nearing six o'clock. Bill Dodge still manned the desk, the others having not arrived yet. The smell from Del's execution was a faint unpleasant tinge in the air now, yet anyone who caught the scent of it would remember how the poor man exited the world.

Beth went to clean the back rooms and sweep through old Sparky's chamber first, her hope was that by the time it came to tidy through the office Brutal may have arrived. When alone with the chair she chose not to look at it, she didn't like to think of lives passing beyond at the best of times let alone been near an instrument that stripped some of it. Were she of a sillier temperament she might imagine it was haunted, but she did not have such mindless ideas. Beth knew the cold, hard truth that once separated, the living and the dead could not meet again.

After some time she heard the familiar voices of the four regular guards and she hurried her duties. When arriving at the duty desk however, she saw only Dean and Harry playing cards. Harry looked at her rather worryingly.

"I didn't know you were here today." He remarked, looking down the Mile then at Dean.

"Is it just you two?" She asked.

"Paul and Brutal are just taking care of some paper work, Percy is in the office."

Beth's heart sunk, yet what could she do? Harry seemed to not want her there at that moment and she could hardly stand stupidly making chit chat until Paul and Brutal returned. Biting the bullet was the only way; she moved to go into the office. Percy was sat casually with his feet rested on the desk like he was the boss himself, his eyes bent intently on a book about caring for the mentally ill. When the door opened he snapped the book shut with a start but then seeing it was her he seemed to relax again.

"I've been waitin' for you." He said, Beth looked behind her and saw Dean looking in her direction uncomfortably; Harry's eyes were focused on the entrance to the Mile. She couldn't work out what had them running so anxious but she closed the door and stepped forward. "Come over here."

Beth was tempted to stand her ground and argue but instead she moved over to the desk and stood to the side of Percy. He rested his head against the back on the chair, his eyes looking up at her almost dreamily. His feet were crossed at the ankles and his hands were idly opening the book. When the pages opened she saw concealed within them was a pornographic issue and her eyes flicked back to him, a smile of satisfaction appearing on his face.

"Is this how you spend your time?" Beth asked levelly, it wasn't the first time she'd seen something like this but she still found it unpleasant. She'd be damned if he saw that though. "Why don't you try actually makin' yourself agreeable, go play cards."

Percy looked at the smaller volume and flicked through a few pages, knowing full well she was seeing every image herself.

"You ever done it any of these ways?" He asked.

"I am not answering any of your nastiness, Percy." She replied, the anger rising in her voice.

"I imagined you have, I thought about it a lot in fact."

Beth said nothing, she found herself chewing her lip nervously and she looked away. His small chuckle resounded around her and from the corner of her eye she saw movement pass the office and go towards the store room. Percy sat up a little, placing his feet on the floor.

"Do you remember what your brother said to you?"

"I do." She grated.

"What was that again?"

"He said I had thrown my virtue onto the fire, the virtue that God had blessed me with."

Whatever his intention was, these words of her brother's had been with her a long time, hurting her for a long time. Her recounting them now added no further pain.

"I liked your brother, you know I did…"

"Make your point Percy; I'm tired of your meanness!" She barked, turning back to him and she saw the smile evaporate a little from his lips, daring only now to linger slightly.

"I just think he had it wrong is all." Percy explained, his fingers running over one of the images. "I think your virtues have just been in hidin' these last few years… I think they're just waiting for someone to…"

His arm went out and wrapped around her waist and with a swift yank he pulled her onto his lap. His desire was evident beneath his trousers and for a moment she seemed to fall limp against him, long enough for him to lift up the small edition and make her look at the image of the woman with her ankles over a man's shoulders.

"It's quite a thing, isn't it?" He whispered hotly near her ear and on his final word she sprang up and moved around the desk. He laughed at her now, placing his feet back upon the desk and resting the book against his chest. Those mean eyes were triumphant and that smile was daring to be slapped off his face. Despite all of her intentions, he could wipe away any self respect in her sometimes. Yet this time perhaps he had gone too far.

"You don't know Jack about me Percy Wetmore!"

"I know more than you think, Theo might not be much of a talker now but he was, oh you know he was. Your brother was right I suppose, you did give something freely, it's just it was his love you threw on the fire!"

"Shut your mouth!" She bellowed and realised that those around could likely hear. Her head turned to the office door for a moment, expecting someone to come in yet no one did. Stepping nearer, the desk the only thing between them she continued in a lower voice. "I don't know what all this is Percy, but I know this… I'd rather walk down that Mile and be skinned alive by the murderers you got holed up in here than be touched by you for even a moment!"

He looked angry now but he was clever, he knew where he was. Percy kept his position and merely stared at her, demanding her gaze for as long as she dared, until it made her feel sick.

"You best walk then cos there ain't a man here that would touch a woman like you. Now I'm gonna think a lot about what you said, you know what that means… maybe you'll be wanting to borrow this to brush up on your skills." His voice was full of antagonism and triumph as he lifted the small issue from the book. "Because nowhere else will have you if I get my way."

Beth didn't feel anger; she didn't feel like tears would fall, she only felt numb now. It was as though Percy had stepped forward and stripped away whatever part of her had been determined to stand up to him, now all that was left was a husk. Without another word or look she moved away from him and stepped out of the office. Her face rose and she saw the four Guards looking at her, Paul's face seeming determined by something she couldn't fathom, two bottles of pop in his hands. Her eyes flicked to Brutal for a moment, his face seeming composed yet his eyes too were dark with an intention she didn't know.

"Everythin' alright?" Dean asked, coming over to her and placing a hand on the top of her arm, she realised she must have looked unsteady.

"I'm fine." She said but to her surprise Paul now came nearer to her and searched her face. Dean dutifully stepped back and Beth found herself shaking a little under Paul's gaze. Feeling was returning to her now, it was as if leaving Percy's vicinity gave her freedom to feel again. He looked at her kindly and she could see the blurred shape of Brutal over his shoulder some little way off. As she dared to meet Paul's eyes she felt the reassurance in his voice.

"This is not the place for you to be right now, Beth. You should be at home."

"I need the money…" She said shamefully.

"Then Harry will call and we'll see if there's some other places you can finish your shift today, but I think you need to be away from here for a little while."

"I agree." She heard Brutal's voice say from behind Paul and she looked over at him, seeing such a concerned look on his face that she could have gone over and embraced him. But she fought off the urge and looking back to Paul she nodded. How much they had heard or guessed she did not know, but they knew for sure now that Percy was giving her more trouble than they realised. Beth might feel the shadows at her back, but for the first time she felt four allies standing in front of her.


	12. Bruises

_**Author's notes: We're now back to the present where the prologue began a.k.a Percy shooting Wild Bill Wharton. Thank you for reviews, follows and faves they are always very encouraging and appreciated! I'm considering changing the rating from a T to an M on account of upcoming content.**_

 **Chapter 11**

" _God bless you John Coffey."_

Brutal found her in the office; Beth was putting on her coat slowly as if she had forgotten how to complete such a simple act. Her eyes were sore from exhaustion and crying and to lift her arms to shake on the coat seemed like the greatest labour. She stood in front of the desk staring at where merely hours ago she had gazed at Percy. Her mind didn't remember the absent minded Percy that shot Bill Wharton, by that time Percy had gone forever. But the Percy Wetmore she knew, he had sat there in exalting smugness and stripped away her self respect as he had many times before.

"Let me take you home." Brutal said quietly, coming to the side of her yet her eyes stayed fixed on that chair. There were questions she had, too many but she was too careworn to utter them and right now was not the time. Her body was like lead and her head thick and faint feeling. Beth staggered a little on her feet.

"Beth?" Brutal asked again gently, touching her upper arm firmly to steady her but he touched the bruises and the pain brought clarity back to her. Her breath inhaled sharply and she winced, her heavy eyes lifting to Brutal's. There were dark shadows forming under his own and he was a man who needed rest too. Yet his eyes were now fixed on her arm, not her face.

"Did I hurt you, I'm sorry." He apologised, though she could see from his look he knew full well his grip hadn't been the cause of her pain, only a reminder of it.

"Don't mind it." She replied quietly and his eyes met hers again, their mutual exhaustion understood the other's and Brutal nodded.

"I'll see you home."

"I don't know if I'll ever sleep again." Beth murmured and without thinking she moved near to him and rested her head against his chest. For a moment she merely remained there but the she felt his hands come to rest at her waist to steady her. Beth could feel the warmth of his hands against her skin through the fabric of her dress and shift, their size felt as though they were almost encircling her waist, though she was sure they weren't. They seemed to stay that way for a minute or two, Beth feeling like the world around had disappeared. But then after a time Brutal's voice said to her.

"Come on, we should go."

Beth followed him out, Dean and Harry having already left and Paul soon followed them out. After assuring himself that Beth would be taken home by Brutal, Paul left in his own car leaving only them. When seated inside Brutal stared in the darkness ahead of him, his hands resting on the wheel but otherwise he seemed far away. Instinctively, she now put her hand on top of one of his and squeezed it. He turned his head to look at her, he seemed lost as she did.

"Do you think we'd be to get a drink somewhere?"

Brutal continued to look at her a moment, he seemed able to focus on her face more now than a moment earlier.

"Not at this time." He replied quietly, then considering he said. "I've some bottles of beer at my house."

"I've never drank beer." Beth replied, "But tonight seems a good place to start."

They drove the rest of the way in silence, Brutal keeping his remaining clarity on the dark roads and Beth not wishing to disturb him. Finally, Brutal pulled up at a small but neat looking house identical to others on the street. It was hard to see much in the dark but Beth liked the look of it. She followed him inside and was pleased by the faint warmth as opposed to the chill outside. Brutal helped her out of her coat and offered her a seat at the kitchen table. Taking off his own jacket he rolled up his shirt sleeves and took two beers from the refrigerator before sitting down opposite her. Beth watched as he took two deep draughts, leaving the bottle only half full. She nursed hers in both her hands for the time being, watching the man opposite her as he tried to wind down.

"Has Percy been taken to Briar Ridge?" She asked at last and Brutal nodded. Without realising a smile crossed Beth's lips and she saw that he witnessed it.

"I'd already seen things tonight I couldn't believe but…" He tried to speak but somehow he was unable. "But i…."

"Ssssh now." Beth said resting one of her hands on his. "I think we do best trying to put this aside for a little while."

"You don't think sometimes things get better if you say them out loud."

"I do, but I see that you're tired."

"It's like you said, I don't know if I'll ever sleep again." Brutal replied and turning his hand, he enveloped hers into his palm and closed his fingers around it. This seemed to ease him a little; Beth was pleased she could offer some reassurance. Now was not the time to say she had stepped on the Mile and found them all but Dean gone. Nor was it the time to show relief that Percy Wetmore was gone from her life and how he was under the same roof as his own flesh and blood. With his free hand Brutal rubbed his eyes then took another long swig of beer, a heavy sigh coming from his lips. When he saw her looking at him still, his face changed.

"How the hell can you still look so pretty when you're so tired?"

"I've been tired for a long time."

"I figured that." Brutal surmised. "In time I'd like to know why, but not tonight."

Beth felt as though he were about to let go of her hand but instead she found him moving it off the table still entwined with his and he was gently pulling her towards him. She moved freely enough and soon found herself sat on his knee, his arms encircling her waist and he pressed his face close to her collar bone. She could feel the deep breaths he took in and out and without another thought she slipped her arms about his shoulders and neck. Beth now embraced him as she could have done hours before when he agreed with Paul about her welfare. The arms that held her drew her in a little tighter now as though he knew she was comfortable where she was. It was a peculiar turn of events but neither of them was awake enough to consider whether this was a wrong thing to do, instead they were just happy with the simple comfort it offered.

After some time she felt him relax fully, his body seemed less rigid but she knew he wasn't asleep. Yet she also knew a kitchen chair would not be the most comfortable.

"You got a radio?" She asked, Brutal's head moved from its position, his height meaning his face was practicality at the same level as hers and he nodded. "Then why don't we sit this way somewhere more comfortable and listen, might ease you into sleep."

Brutal nodded again and he led her into his small sitting room, the radio standing on a table next to a deep chair. Turning it on low the pair seated themselves again, Beth sat on Brutal's knee only this time her head able to rest of his shoulder and he hooked an arm under her knees to hold her in place, putting his own feet on the stool in front. One of her hands idly played with the short hair on the back of his head, gently pulling strands or dragging across his scalp, the other resting on top of the free hand of the arm that circled her back.

There were moments when each of them would snatch small fragments of sleep, but every so often they would find themselves looking heavy eyed at the other. It was a hopeless endeavour to fight for slumber, yet they had chosen right to pass the night in one another's company. When the sun rose they both stood, each a little stiff from how they'd been seated and whilst Beth moved to look out the window, Brutal caught her wrist gently. Standing still like prey transfixed by a predator she only watched as Brutal undid the button at the cuff of her dress and gently rolled her sleeve up her arm. He was as gentle as a parent when a child had fallen and cut their knee and he kept going until he found what he was looking for. Sure enough two of the deep purple finger marks became visible to his notice and she saw that however tired he was, he could still get angry.

His eyes travelled up to her now and she almost faltered under his gaze, her only strength in the exposure of these marks being that Percy was gone.

"Did he do this?" Brutal asked, his voice having some of its former weight now. He must have felt her shiver under his scrutiny, she was certain.

"Yes."

"Today?"

Except it was no longer the day Percy Wetmore disappeared, it had been morning when they had left the Mile to begin with.

"The evening after you dropped me near Dean's house."

Brutal looked at the marks again, his pale, tired face glowing a little red at the cheeks.

"Son of a bitch." He said under his breath and he gently pulled her sleeve back down and fastened the cuff. Beth said nothing until he looked at her again and she felt stronger now with the conviction of what she had said on the Mile.

"God bless John Coffey."


	13. Questions

_**Author's note: Thank you for my lovely reviews, I'm so pleased this is being enjoyed.**_

 **Chapter 12**

Brutus was quiet for the short drive to her house; Beth knew it wasn't just fatigue. His brow was knitted together in an almost frown and his eyes focused that little bit too hard on the road. He was thinking, that was all fine but for Beth it was what questions would follow that worried her. When they arrived by her house and the engine was turned off he turned to look at her and she felt a shiver down her spine.

"I'll wait here, don't worry about time."

"I don' mind you comin' up Brutus." She explained. "I'd feel more peculiar you sat down here."

"You don't worry about tempting a lonely man?"

"I ain't afraid of anythin' you could do to me."

That was a lie of course; he could ask her the question she didn't have the courage or energy to answer this morning. Brutal continued to look at her a moment, his brow still tight but within a minute the muscles in his forehead loosened and he moved to open his door. They walked together to her basic lodgings and she could tell though he walked behind her that he was taking in every bit of her reduced circumstances. Beth may come to work dressed simple and nice, but where she lived was far from it.

He took up a seat whilst she walked to the small adjoining room and freshened up, changing her underclothes and dress and pinning her hair up out of the way. For a time she almost forgot he was there as she fixed herself in the mirror, observing how wan her face was and her eyes heavy. She ran a hand down her cheek and then flinched quickly when in the reflection, his face close to hers was Percy.

Her entire body tensed as she watched him, he gave a quick glance to her eyes through the mirror but then he looked over her frail face like a predator eyeing up its next meal. Though she knew this wasn't real, she was sure she could feel his hot breath against her cheek.

"Beth." The voice whispered, his voice, wanting and hateful.

"Cut it out." She murmured, screwing her eyes shut and yet she could still hear him, still feel him about her as though a creeping arm was slinking over her, sickening her to the core. "Cut it out!"

As she said these words she flung her arms down on the small dressing table, the second utterance was louder, desperate and she sent the few items there reeling, one glass bottle clanking harshly against the mirror. Her memory reminded her of surging forward, slamming into something hard as a cacophony of terrible noises whirled around her. Then as her body slammed she felt it all go silent, silent and black.

When she opened her eyes she saw the scattered bits and pieces around her, nothing broken thank god except maybe her mind. Brutal had darted into the room and came lurching forward, taking her face in his hands and looking at her hard, searching for the answer.

"I'm fine!" She babbled, "I thought I saw a mouse is all…"

Her chest heaved as her heart thundered and Brutal's hands moved to take hold of her own. She hurried to correct herself, looking around and trying to laugh.

"I must have imagined it." She continued, he watched her for a moment before either deciding to believe her or choosing to bide his time. His hands relaxed their grip, though he still held hers, his eyes skimming at the few things knocked over. "Don't mind that."

Beth rose and keeping hold of one of his hands she walked from the small excuse of a bedroom. They were now both freshly dressed, ready as they could be for the day; the only thing missing was food from their stomachs.

"Hungry?" Beth asked.

"Like a horse." Brutal replied.

"Then I need to take you to the best kitchen in town."

For the first time that day and mostly for Brutal's sake, Beth's face broadened into a large smile of promise. Soon they were back in the car and heading for Dean's street. When Beth rapped lightly on Dolores' door, the pair were greeted by the well dressed older woman. If Brutal was hungry, then he soon found himself receiving manna from heaven. Dolores took great pride and cooked the pair eggs and bacon, clearly seeing a pair of careworn, tired individuals. She never asked Brutus one word about how he came to be in Beth's company that morning, indeed it was as though she'd known him years. If anything, she seemed pleased to see her young friend with a companion of some sort at last. Beth wiped her face with her napkin, Brutal finishing some seconds he was offered, she looked out the window to the bottom of the garden.

"It looks completely bare now Dol'?"

"Oh yes, we picked the last I think…" Dolores replied. "I have a fresh baked one going spare, you can take it with you. Would that be appreciated Mr Howell?"

"I think it would." Brutal replied, wiping his own face now and a small smile daring to appear on his face too. Beth looked at the pair of them a moment before excusing herself, she couldn't hold off going to the bathroom any longer. She washed her hands and rinsed her face with cold water again, pinching at her cheeks to try and find any source of colour there. When she came back through the narrow hallway, she could hear the pair talking.

"That's my boy there…. He and Beth were quite the apple picking duo in their youth… there's is Beth and her mother, she was my God daughter see… and that's Beth's brother…"

Beth came through the door at the mention of her brother and trying to remain composed she said.

"You need the yard sweepin' whilst I'm here?"

Brutal was now stood by the mantelpiece with Dolores, a line of photographs been shown. The pair looked at her a moment and when Dolores didn't answer, Beth's eyes moved to the photograph she had been gesturing too.

"That's my brother Michael." She explained and felt a little information would perhaps keep further questions at bay. "He used to know Percy's cousin Theo and Percy too, he lives away now, we don't see him much do we Dol'?"

"No, no we don't." Dolores replied, watching her young friend keenly, but Beth's eyes were on Brutal. He took another look at the photograph, then moved towards Beth.

"You said somethin' needed sweeping, let me do it."

Beth showed him where the broom was and he proceeded out onto the porch, she was no fool, she knew he was purposefully leaving her for she had things to say to her friend. When Beth heard the door close, she moved towards Dolores and kissed her on the cheek.

"Thank you for all this, I feel I have bones to carry me again."

"What's happen'd?"

"You'll see it in the papers today or tomorrow…." Beth gulped hard. "Percy won't be back."

"Is he dead?"

"No…. he's gone like…"

"Theo?"

"You could say that."

"Are you alright?" Dolores embraced Beth with all the maternal love anyone could give and for a moment, Beth hugged her back with equal force.

"I am almost ashamed to say I feel better than I have in a long time." Beth muttered close to her friend's ear. She pulled back, but their faces remained near from confidence.

"Have you told Mr Howell?"

"No."

"But you I know you want to."

"In time." Beth nodded.

"Good girl."

The door clicked and Brutal's step could be heard re-entering the house. Soon his large frame appeared in the door way and his eyes glanced at the clock, Beth's eyes followed.

"We need to get going Dol', thank you for breakfast."

Brutal came over and put out his hand, Dolores took it in both.

"Thank you." He reiterated.

They left and began driving towards Cold Mountain, the apple pie resting on Beth's lap. A silence fell between them again until they were nearing the entrance. Brutal was the one who broke the peace and as he turned the wheel to enter the state pen, he said softly.

"She's a nice lady."

"She is."

"I realised when she was showin' me the pictures, there's a lot about you I don't know."

"I'm open to tradin' information." She began trying to be light hearted but this failed her. "Except I feel you're wantin' me to start with Percy Wetmore."

"You can understan' that can't you?" Brutal asked gently.

"That depends, you wanna know because you hate him or that you like me?" Her voice became a little frustrated now, her cheeks started to burn hot, colour filling them for the first time that day. Beth rubbed her eyes, and then slid her hands down her face. Brutal didn't answer and were quiet again; they left the car and walked in total silence all the way to E block. The other three were already there and Beth could not mistake the tired faces looking at her strangely when she walked in, Brutal not far behind.

"Afternoon fellas." Brutal remarked normally, Beth decided this was likely the best way to be also and moving towards Paul she held out the apple pie.

"I brought this to rally the troops." She said.

"Is that one of Dolores'?" Dean asked.

"You betcha." Beth chirped and she noticed all the men smile a little at the prospect of something nice to help grease the wheels of the day ahead. "I don' know how you'd feel about it Mr Edgecomb but… I thought about John too?"

"I think John can have a piece."

"He can too." Harry said in uncharacteristic wonder, Beth had no idea why he used such a tone but she was pleased they were all in agreement. Paul looked more seriously at her now as he put the pie on the table, Brutal still stood a little behind her.

"Now Beth, I was wondering if you'd feel comfortable… cleaning Wharton's cell. The worst was cleaned last night but it still needs working over." Paul explained gravely, he rested a hand on her shoulder. "You feel alright doin' that you think? It's fine if you don't."

Beth considered a moment, the sight of Percy aiming at Wharton becoming clear as day in her memory. She looked back to Paul and nodded.

"I think under the circumstances, I will mop down the Mile too, if you're okay with that?" She suggested, knowing full well they all remembered Percy's body letting go of itself following the shooting.

Paul looked down the Mile a moment towards Coffey's cell then back to Beth.

"Keep away from the restraint room end."

"Yes sir."

"Now boys." Paul explained. "We all got some paper work to do and some things to discuss, Harry you take the desk whilst Beth tidies up. Any problems, just shout."

Dean followed Paul into the office; Brutal took one glance at Beth before he joined them, a small smile on his face almost by way of an apology. Harry inquired whether Beth needed a hand with the water bucket but she shook her head. Gathering her things together and walked back onto the Mile. As she began to work from the duty desk downwards, she realised for the second time in twenty four hours, she would be coming in close proximity with John Coffey. The realisation of this made her aware that there was a question she needed to ask, perhaps a question these men all knew the answer to already. It was the age old question many ask in the face of things they don't understand….

 _Why?_


	14. Scars

**Chapter 13**

Beth worked almost absent mindedly as she gutted the remains of what was Wild Bill Wharton's cell, she stripped the soiled linen and tossed it onto the Mile. Then she scrubbed and washed down every inch of the floor, it felt like she was eradicating the last of the vile young man's presence forever. She'd remembered with a shiver his words to her, the nastiness in their vocabulary but far more dangerous in tone. Killing him might have been the only decent thing Percy had ever done in the time that she'd known him. Then again, he had gotten her this job despite all that went with it.

Once she was finished in Wharton's cell she picked up the soiled bedding and dropped it by the Mile door so that it was out of the way. Harry was engrossed in his book and only looked up once to give her a smile as she brought the linen over. Now all that was left was the other end of the Mile, Coffey's end. Beth took her time, slowly dragging the mop, watching Harry's eyes become bent upon his book intensely again. When she spent so much of her time monitoring him she failed to notice at first that she herself was being watched. Coffey had got up from his bed, dry eyed and interested and was watching her work. At last when she felt his gaze and turned her head she offered him a smile.

"Mornin' ma'am." He said in a deep, husky whisper, Beth's eyes flicked back to Harry yet she didn't stop her cleaning. Instead she pivoted round so her face was more visible to John's but stayed in the spot where she was.

"Good mornin' John." She replied. "I brought some apple pie in today, Mr Edgecomb is saving you a piece."

"That be might fine of you ma'am." He replied dreamily. "I remembers I think you saying about it before."

"That's right."

Unbeknown to Beth, Harry's eyes were indeed looking up covertly, he was watching every moment of the exchange. It was true he was gripped by his book, but those dulcet tones of Coffey's could not be unheard even when whispered. Dean was facing Harry through the office and he quietly gestured to him to get Brutal.

"You look tired." John replied, wrapping one hand around one of the bars and pressing his face closer to get a better look at her.

"So do you."

"How long you been carryin' that load ma'am?"

His words made Beth start and she had to use all her energy to grab the mop tight so she wouldn't drop it, her eyes fixed on Coffey's. Somehow he seemed to encase her in a veil that only left them both in the world. At first she was terrified, but then something inside her seemed to feel safe.

"Five, nearly six years maybe."

"That Percy was a bad man."

"I heard." She said quietly, her voice whispering now at the mention of his name. Without realising she found herself taking a step or two nearer to his cell, Coffey looked at her with an almost pained clarity, it was if as she stepped nearer to him, he could see her pain more visibly.

"I think you know." He said in a much hoarser whisper and he put his index finger from his free hand a little through the bars and pointed towards her. "I can see scars there."

His ability to see what no one barring one or two people knew riveted her to the spot, how had he any idea what she had gone through? Gripping the mop handle now as though it were the dearest thing to her, her knuckles were white from the pressure and she could feel a tear or two forming in her eyes. Yet through all this, the veil they were wrapped in made her unafraid to give a little of the truth.

"That's right John, that's right." She uttered quietly. "There ain't nothing in here now to give."

John considered her words for a moment as though he didn't quite understand and a longer, lingering look passed from him to her, focused around her chest and Beth felt as though he were staring right into her.

"I see a heart."

Beth edged nearer still, transfixed and she felt safe. Her mind had obliterated any thought of what this man may have done or yet be capable of. She was merely an arm's length from the bars now and John unwound the hand that had thus far held the bars and put it through.

"Why did you do it John?" She asked at last.

"They bad men, I punished em both."

"You saw what he did to Del?"

"And Mr Jingles…. And now you." Beth said nothing and John continued. "You all used to laugh together."

Beth heard movement behind her but it seemed echoey and distant, she put out her hand and within a moment took John's. Her small hand was enveloped by his large paw, disappearing like a stone thrown into water and she looked up into his eyes and saw they were blood shot and tired. They felt like her own eyes, only ones that had seen far more than she could imagine. She felt a strange surge of comfort fill her for a moment, like one does when they meet someone who understands suffering. Beth heard her name being shouted and heavy tread coming up behind them and as her and Coffey's gaze locked for a moment, the veil around them seemed to fall away.

"John!" Paul bellowed coming forward but from the corner of her eye Beth could see it was Brutal now arriving not a foot from her. John's eyes dropped from her to Paul and he let go of her hand gently, retracting his through the bars. But Beth's eyes didn't leave his and when he finally looked back to her John said.

"You can quit on that hurtin' now, she's fine."

Beth's body jerked at these words and she found herself backing away a few steps from the cell of John Coffey, in fact she continued to back away until she felt the bars of the opposite cell hit her back. Paul came forward and spoke to John but Beth had no idea what words were being exchanged, she hardly even registered that Brutal was nearby talking to her. Without another word she moved away from them and walked down the Mile, passing the duty desk where Harry and Dean stood and past the office.

When she finally took account of where she was, Beth found she was staring through the doorway towards Old Sparky, its finally polished wood and imposing size making it the dark shadow of the room. She heard footsteps behind her and looking up she saw Brutal, his face a mixture of anger and concern. Beth could tell he wanted to correct her for going near Coffey's cell and she wasn't sure how much he had seen of their interchange, but something told him to know better.

"You alright?" He asked. "You're white as a sheet."

"I feel cold." She replied. "Is that how you're meant to feel when…"

Her voice trailed off and she began to shake, Brutal instinctively came nearer and put his arms around her, pressing her head to rest on his chest. Her own arms went about him and for a moment they both expected her tears. Yet none came. For a few minutes she stood that way then feeling started to return to her again, the dug up ghosts returning to their rightful place almost. Pressing herself tighter against him she sighed heavily.

"I'm sorry."

"It's alright."

For someone who had just watched her take the hand of a child murderer he seemed very calm. This told Beth that like what she had just witnessed, those Guards knew more of Coffey, had seen more of him than they let on.

"He's gonna sit in that chair soon isn't he?" She uttered, her eyes looking up and meeting his, Brutal nodded.

"Paul got his DOE this morning, just a few more days." He explained. "We've got to go tell him soon."

"Do you know what he meant…. What he said to me?"

Brutal looked at her a moment, he brushed a few loose strands of her from her forehead and bent to kiss it.

"I'll wait for you to say it."

"I… my brother… he doesn't speak to me anymore… the other well… all that was left was Percy… after…"

The sound of the car swerving violently and the shriek of the breaks came about her, she remembered the feel of her body slamming hard against the seat in front, she remembered the roll and the pain, the sound of glass shattering. Everything went black and quiet then for a time, everything until that once voice, the voice she least wanted to hear spoke harsh against her ear.

" _Beth."_

"Percy did it." She confessed, "He just couldn't leave well alone… he did it."


	15. Memories

_**Author's note: I realised I had named two young male characters Micahel, so I have changed Beth's brother's name to Ben and I will go back and edit his mention in a previous chapter. Here comes the beginning to some answers!**_

 **Chapter 14**

Beth hadn't meant to push Brutal away. She had walked as fast as she could, gathering the soiled bed linen and leaving the Mile altogether. There were things that were all too real mingling with things that she didn't understand. Her exposing Percy's role as the cause of the pain in her past and the mystery at what John Coffey had done and the power he held all confused and stressed her. In that moment where she had held his hand, she had felt serene and appeased, yet when close to Brutus Howell her shame and inadequacy came back to her. The laundry room was empty so late on a night, Beth stood in the entrance glancing around its dark interior before flicking on the light and commencing her work. As the hot water ran into the copper tub, she fetched the soap and starch and yet her mind rewound to former days.

It first fell to when she was sat by the window of Dolores' guest room when she was just short of sixteen, her heart still heavy with the abrupt loss of her mother. At the young ages of fifteen and eighteen, she and Ben had had to make some tough choices about the future. Their mother had worked hard and had left a nice enough house, her car and some jewellery that she had collected over the years, but it had dawned on Beth despite her age that this would not last. One night her reasonable mind had addressed her brother with the proposal that they sell everything so that he might go to college as intended. They had approached Dolores who had loaned him the difference when the sale was completed and Beth was kindly taken in by her friend.

Not long after, Ben moved away to pursue the education that would promise them both a better life. She had sat by that window several nights following and cried. Dolores was as kind a surrogate mother as possible and Ben kept his promise writing once or twice a week and calling when he was able. But the gaping wound caused by absence had left Beth looking far more inward than one should and her spirits were low. A brief few months of secretarial training flew her through her sixteenth year and as she moved into her seventeenth her spirits had now levelled to a quiet composure that bloomed along with her fresh face. Indeed she grew pretty, but she didn't see it and nor did she see the looks it brought her…. That was until a certain car pulled up outside Dolores' house how sunny May afternoon.

 _The horn beeped loudly and from her room Beth heard her name called. Dolores came through the door, her face beaming._

" _I want'd it to be a surprise, go look out the window!"_

 _The sight of her brother in the passenger seat waving madly out the window to her made her heart leap, it had been three months since his last visit and without another thought she pushed on some shoes and burst from the house. Ben climbed from the car and met her at the gate, giving her a hearty embrace that left her breathless. The driver of the flash car emerged from his side and came round and when Beth finally released her brother she turned to look at him._

" _Beth, this is my friend from college Theo Austin."_

" _It's a pleasure, Miss Hadler." Theo said putting out his hand to her, she remembered how she had taken it, feeling a little shy and dwarfed by his stature. He was a little taller and much broader than her brother. But that wasn't just it, he was incredibly good looking, dark hair and big blue eyes._

" _He's told me about you, you're from 'round here."_

" _He's not just from 'round her!" Ben laughed and hit his friend on the back." He's from a family of bigwigs, his uncle is the state governor."_

" _That's the introduction I wanted, Ben." Theo replied with a groan and for the first time, Beth noticed what it was like when a man looked at her and she realised that he liked what he saw. At seventeen after two years of sadness and solitude, it was quite the rush._

" _Aw Beth don't mind, her mind has always been that of a bigwig aye sis?"_

" _I think you should stop talkin'." Beth laughed._

" _Right, well then I suppose I should make amends to both of you, you comin' with us for some lunch somewhere little sister!"_

" _I don't wanna impose." She had said, her eyes dropping due to the maintained focus Theo was putting on her but he had taken her hand and flashed the kind of smile that could only disarm an inexperienced girl._

" _I insist."_

Beth rinsed the linen out deeply, squeezing it so hard the curves of skin between her finger and thumbs grew sore and red. One by one she lifted them out and the proceeded onto the next. Her mind recalled milkshakes, fishing trips to the lakes where she was the best of their party of three and driving to green, open spaces and relaxing on the grass as the world went by. It was two carefree weeks of inseparability. Ben and Theo were firm friends and got on well that was obvious and Beth enjoyed every moment with her brother. But all three were aware of the growing affection between the nephew of the governor and the orphan that she was. When the pair of them returned to college Beth had felt the sting of their absence, indeed no matter what her growing affection for Theo, she missed her brother with equal pain.

Toot entered the laundry and looked at her for a moment as though he couldn't recollect who she was. Beth in turn thought she'd almost forgot his shaggy appearance as last she heard he was on death's door. But his face broke into a uneven, nasty smile.

"You're back then?" She said.

"Of course I'm back, a dumb dumb like him can't pay a nickel now."

"What do you mean?"

"I think you know!" Toot cackled. "He wanted you to stick aroun' bad, he wanted you to spread them legs wide as a thank you."

Beth said nothing but turned back to her jobs and ignored the humiliating words that she knew full well were true.

" _Beth!" Dolores called. "Beth come down!"_

 _She had entered the kitchen and Dolores handed her a tray containing a jug of fresh lemonade and two glasses. Her head gestured to the back porch where the day was melting through a hazy sunset with bursts of fiery orange and deep purple. When Beth stepped out the door she saw none other than Theo sat on the porch swing waiting for her. Putting the tray down she moved towards him but he was already on his feet and near to her, those big eyes looking down at her._

" _I was gonna write." He had begun softly. "But I found myself drivin' down here."_

" _Why on earth would you do that?"_

 _His answer was to tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear and kiss her. When he broke away she felt like her legs would give way beneath her, her entire body lighting up again. After some time they were sat on the porch swing together, his arm about her after assuring her he had asked Dolores' approval for such an act, he even requested permission to kiss her._

" _I said just the once." He laughed. "I know I've stolen a further two but I think we can have a secret or two."_

" _What about Ben?"_

" _I think Ben saw it plain as day when he was here."_

" _He's protective."_

" _I know." Theo replied, he squeezed her hand with assurance. "I promised him too."_

" _But I mean… I'm not of your world Theo…"_

" _My world?" He snorted and pressed her to him a little tighter. "It ain't that much different."_

" _Our house sizes would probably say otherwise."_

" _Well, here I am sayin' I'd like you to be. And besides, come summer I'll need your help and your brother's."_

" _Why?"_

" _I gotta cousin here, my mom's sister's boy, name of Percy. They want him to spend the summer with me; I believe he's not quite shaping up how they want him to be."_

" _What does that mean?"_

" _He's a bit weedy sometimes, he likes to spend all his time with his sister, doesn't seem to get on with boys… or anyone for that matter. He's alright in small doses but as the oldest of the family boys it's my job to 'straighten him out'. Think you could help keep me sane whilst I do that, you and Ben?"_

" _Just like these last weeks, that sort of thing?"_

" _Yeah, he'll just tag along."_

" _Will I… can I still see you like this sometimes?"_

" _Like this? By hell and high water you will Beth. In fact next time I'm back, we're going to a flicker show! Just you and I if Ben and Dol don't mind. How does that sound?"_

" _That sounds perfect."_

Toot's exit was sounded by his laughter which faded out down the corridor, Beth was left still thinking to herself about everything. She knew she was going to tell Brutus some of these details, they were growing closer and after the previous night, it seemed only right to let him in a little. After all, this past had been held over her for years, yet she had allowed it to be. There was shame yes, but she was not the only guilty party. Finishing her work she saw from the clock Brutal's shift would be finished in an hour or so. Stepping outside she felt that the breeze had increased but was bearable enough and she walked to where his car was parked. Her eyes were tired and heavy from lack of sleep but as she looked up at the stars she continued to confront some of the memories of her past.

 _The four of them had built a fire, Ben had taken Percy hunting for wood with him and had showed him as best he could how to construct and light it. This had given Theo and herself a few minutes together for the first time that day. Percy really did tag along everywhere and whilst at first the fifteen year old seemed riveted to his cousin's side as the days had passed he seemed to find a comfortable place by Beth's too. Theo assured her it was just Percy missing his sister and Beth had not been too pleased when he had spotted a likeness between the pair of them. He even went as far to say she had a look of his aunt across the eyes. When the fire was lit the four had sat around it and Beth had looked up at the stars._

" _Say Percy, you did good." Ben assured him, passing him a toasting fork and a slice of bread. He handed another to Beth and she had proceeded to toast Theo's first, when it reached a nice golden brown with barely any burning, she saw Percy had been having less luck._

" _Here." She said, handing him the slice intended for Theo and she had smiled, in truth she felt a little bit sorry for him. He was quiet and not as athletic as his cousin, but he seemed like a nice kid._

" _Thank you." Percy had replied and taking it began to crunch away happily, Beth began toasting another, this time it would be for Theo. "When are you bringin' Beth to meet your mom, Theo?"_

" _In the next few weeks I should expect Percy." Theo replied normally, he seemed unphased by the question._

" _Would she congratulate you on your good sense Theo?" Ben joked._

" _Probably, yes."_

" _Our moms are tricky ladies." Percy continued in a nasal tone. "I'm surprised sometimes the family nose isn't longer they so enjoy lookin' down it at people."_

" _Our moms can be that way, sure." Theo griped seeming to clear his throat a little and Beth could tell he wasn't happy with the comment. "But like Ben said, she'll be pleased."_

" _I'll have to bring girl home jus' like her then." Percy chuckled. "If Beth passes the test, we all need a Beth."_

 _Beth had tried to laugh but looked a little anxious at Theo, for a moment those blue eyes looked at her humorously, but then seeing her distress he put an arm around her and hugged her to his side._

" _No test required." He kissed the top of her head then._

Beth heard approaching voices and soon Dean and Brutal could be seen coming to where the cars were parked. Dean spoke to her to bid her goodnight but she saw he hurried into his own car as fast as he could. Beth liked Dean, he missed some things it was true but nothing that was ever important. When he had driven away the pair of them were still standing opposite each other, a little apart. It was dark and Beth was unsure how much time they would have before Paul and Harry came up to. Stepping forward so she was as close as she could be, Beth looked up at him. Brutal seemed so imposing in the dark, his coat making him the largest shadow you could encounter, but she knew there was nothing dark about him. Taking hold of both his hands she laced her fingers with his and squeezed them. Standing as high on her tiptoes as she could she reached upwards with the intention of bringing their faces closer. Despite all her best efforts she still wasn't not quite tall enough and after a few seconds of suspending herself she laughed.

"I might need you to help me."

There was a moment of silence and she could feel his eyes on her though looking at them was not easy in the darkness. His hands loosened from hers and she felt her heart sink but it seemed they only moved to take hold of her waist. When Brutal bent his head and pressed his lips to hers she felt that rush that she had only felt once before, seven years earlier on a sunset porch. Back then was all the promise and romance of first love, the setting could not have been more fitting. Now they stood at the side of Cold Mountain Pen, the night at its darkest and that brisk Fall breeze. Yet as Beth lifted her hands to rest on Brutal's shoulders and meld them together all the closer she felt that this indeed was the perfect moment, not that kiss all those years ago. Beth didn't know why, it was just her gut telling her. When they parted again, Brutal held her in place and she whispered her apology to him.

"Don' worry about it." He said, his voice sounding level but there was a sadness there.

"You alright?" She asked, her hands holding his face between them now, Brutal sighed.

"We spoke to John, Paul did…."

"I'm sorry."

"We knew it was comin', I jus' can't settle with it, none of us can."

They stood in silence clasped together for a minute or so, Beth drawing him into an embrace that both comforted them and warmed their bodies from the rising chill in the breeze.

"You got plans tomorrow night?" Brutal said in her ear, his voice warmer now. Pulling back Beth looked at him and shook her head. "Ever seen Top Hat?"

"No."

"You wanna join me?"

"Here?"

"Yeah… I know it's a little strange… Coffey asked to see one, we're all gonna sit with him…" Brutal started to falter a little. "I will take you out prop…"

"I'd love to." She answered and kissed him again and he was placated. "You're tired we should go."

"Wait!" He said holding her in place, "What John said earlier…"

"I'll tell you everything, I know now that I should have."

"You don't need to."

"I won't tell it all tonight, only…. Can you drive me somewhere quickly before we go home."

"We?"

Beth blushed and she dropped her head, Brutal kissed her forehead to reassure her and she heard that familiar humorous tone say.

"My, my miss Beth."

"I didn't mean like that." She giggled, jabbing him in the chest with her finger to which he submitted and apologised. But then his tone became somewhat sad again and he said.

"With all this comin' up, I don't think it does good to be by myself. The guys all got someone…"

"I'll sit up with you any night, Brutus." She said and as she kissed him again she felt him smile against her lips.

"So, where shall I drive you?"


	16. Roads

_**Author's note: Most of my story follows the vein of the film however, I have stolen back one of Brutus' lines that was given to Paul (and delivered brilliantly by Hanks) in the film. Thank you to those of you who are sticking with this and to those of you who are kindly reviewing.**_

 **Chapter 15**

Brutal drove them to where she requested and soon they parked up at the side of a dark stretch of road that seemed to have very little consequence about it. As with most of the outer roads from town it was lined with trees and shrubs and the rest was wide open fields stretching as far as the eye could see in daylight. Further up from where they parked a small stream ran alongside for a mile or so. It was narrow with an embankment about a metre down to reach it.

Brutal rubbed his heavy eyes and then turned to look at Beth, she could just make him out in the darkness and she wasn't sure if at this moment it was helping. Her hands were knotted together on her lap, she couldn't help feeling nervous, yet somehow this bit of the story felt like the easy part to recall.

"You know anythin' about down here?" She asked, turning to face him as best she could in the confines of the car.

"Only that I've driven down it sometimes, it's like any other road." He laughed but Bet didn't. Brutal rested once of his giant hands over her threaded fingers.

"When I was eighteen I was being courted by this young man named Theo Austin, that name ring any bells?"

"Austin." Brutal mused to himself for a moment, his hand still resting atop hers, stroking them with his thumb. "Ain't there a big family by that name?"

"Yes. They're Percy's relatives." Beth explained. "There's three sisters all related, Percy's mom, Theo's and the other sister is married to the Governor as we speak."

"That how you met Percy then, through this Theo?"

"Yes, he was younger and too fond of hiding in the house, they saw that he wasn't right you might say… I think he was just a little awkward at that age you know or rather, that's what I thought then…"

"Did he get a bit of a thing for you?"

"Yes." Beth said normally, the story seeming a little more straightforward to tell whilst Brutal asked questions, it helped her frame the narrative. "I was nice at first and Theo even saw it as a good sign, I don' know what my brother thought of him really but he never said anything. He was just some awkard boy and we wanted to bring him out of himself but… I dunno they all joked I had a look of his mother and sister, I think deep down that's why he liked me."

"How did your brother feel about this Theo guy?"

"They were the closest friends you could imagine."

"Not so much now?"

"No. I was due to go Baton Rouge with Theo one night, we'd been steady for over a year and in love as you are when you're young, Ben was out with some of their other friends about town and yet at the last minute we get a call demanding to have Percy come with us."

"Why was that?"

"I never knew why, but a family with close ties like that, you can't say no I figure."

Brutal thought on her words in the dark, then he looked out the car window. Beth suddenly found the upcoming part a little more difficult to talk about, her hands began to shake. When he turned his head back to her it was because of the tremors and putting his arm around Beth reassuringly, he pulled her nearer to him.

"He came anyway and as the night went on we were alright, Percy was laughing, laughin' more than I'd seen him in a while but then he seemed to get sick."

"Sick?"

"Yeah, so we started to drive back and I was worried so I sat in the back seat with him. He had his head on my shoulder and looked so unPercylike if that were ever possible. He used to chatter on but he was so quiet this time. But then he looked up at me and started tellin' me I was pretty and how much he liked that I took such good care of him."

"I don't imagine that went down well."

"At first it was funny, he was like a drunk lollygaggin' on, I remember Theo lookin' back once and laughin' at his chatter. But then he changed, became more bold I suppose and kissed me on the cheek. I wasn't happy and I told him as such but even Theo now told me I should pay no mind, but told Percy that he wasn't to do it again. I think I laughed from nervousness and Percy just smiled all the bigger at me, he seemed to think I was likin' the joke or the attention."

" _You really are so pretty, Beth. Skin all soft and warm. There ain't no other girl like you out there."_

" _Percy, you really need to cool it." Theo had said, staring from the rear view mirror. "You thought the same thing about your sister not 6 weeks ago."_

" _I never looked at a girl like you before."_

 _Beth tried to shrug him off but Percy's arms slipped about her and pulled her close, she had felt him inhale the smell of her perfume that Theo had bought her._

" _You're the girl a guy can take home for sure," Percy was laughing now, really laughing as though this was the greatest joke man had ever uttered. "Can I not kiss her just once Theo, I'll always wonder."_

" _If Beth don' mind," Theo had growled with annoyance but wanting to put an end to his cousin's foolishness. "Jus' once."_

 _Beth turned her head and let Percy plant a dewy lipped kiss against her own, it was light and the motion of the car didn't allow him much pressure but this only seemed to dissatisfy him._

" _Alright now Percy, that's enough!"_

 _Percy leaned forward to kiss her harder, his arms about her waist tighter and Beth put a hand on his shoulder to try and push him away, his lips so near to hers now. His hand snaked over her stomach and she felt sick and concerned._

" _Percy!" She protested quietly, his action seeming to make her introverted self recoil rather than find the courage to upbraid him._

" _PERCY GODAMMIT!" Theo roared turning abruptly, his eyes no longer watching or caring about the road but about the situation behind him._

 _Then came the swerve, the judder of uneven terrain beneath the car wheels and the screech of breaks. Theo's eyes had become wide with horror, it was a flash look as everything spun out of control fast but the look on his face was unforgettable. Percy was flung backwards away from Beth but that wasn't the end of it. Before Theo could regain control of the wheel, the corner of the fender hit a tree, the car bounced and rolled down into the stream. Beth's body had been thrown against the seat in front of her, and in that instant the world went black._

 _Yet it was that last look of Theo's eyes before the crash that she always remembered and it was the most painful thing._

Her account to Brutus finished and she gave him time to process her words. By the end she had broken a little, her voice cracking and tears pricking at her eyes. When they fell again, Brutus' arm tightened about her, pulling her against his chest and he let her cry for a few minutes. It wasn't a loud, uncontrollable tirade of tears, but she was sobbing quietly like the pain of it all was still fresh. But it was the anger that she felt that still made her cry, the unfairness. She felt Brutus kiss the top of her head, then her temple and wiping her face with her hands she looked up at him. Leaning close he placed a reassuring kiss on her lips.

"He shouldn't have let him do that." He said quietly.

"I know." Beth nodded, sniffing a little. "Like I said, with ties that close, you can't say no I figure."

"Taggin' along to Baton Rouge and kissing you ain't the same thing." Brutal explained and trying to break the sadness he quipped. "I've been there lots of times and I've never enjoyed it as much as you kissin' me back there."

Beth laughed a little through her last few falling tears, her free hand coming about his chest and she hugged herself tight to him. Brutal wrapped her tighter in his own and again kissed her temple, he seemed relieved she had at last given up some of the pain of the past that connected her with Percy Wetmore.

"Ever since he came on the Mile I always wanted to hit him, I'm gladder now I at least got to sock him once." Brutal confessed, Beth pulled back and wiped her face again, smoothing down her dress and smiling a little.

"It all came back on him, John saw justice done." She replied solemnly. "When I came to, it was Percy's voice I heard in my ear… I ain't never heard it sound so unpleasant. He was callin' me back but… it sounded like he wanted me but that he hated me too. It doesn't leave me, even after all this time."

The moon appeared from behind the clouds and the car was illuminated a little in cool light. Beth could see the grimace on Brutal's face as she said those words and she knew he was thinking about John Coffey's execution in a few days. Her hand moved from his chest to cup his cheek and she drew him in for another kiss. This one lasted the longest and it was comforting for the pair who were so tired and careworn from the last forty eight hours. Beth could feel the gentleness of him right down to his bones, he might look big and imposing on the Mile but stripping that away left a man she could see was his own kind of wonderful. There was a sensitivity that would leave the imprint of John's death on all of them, but anyone who made a passing glance at Brutus Howell would likely underestimate how deep it would run within him.

"You said you'd sit up with me any night." He murmured against her lips, his eyes looking right at her just as the moon dipped behind cloud again, shrouding them in darkness.

"I promised didn' I?"

"I ain't mentioned this to anyone but… I've done things in my life that I'm not proud of but this is the first time I felt real danger of hell."

Beth didn't know how to answer him, instead she just embraced him.

"There's a lot you don' know of me Brutus Howell, my story with Percy ain't done yet but…" Pulling back again she looked at his face, though she could barely see him. "I'll be with you every minute you need through this, I can't imagine how hard it's gonna be for you all."

"Paul said he didn't rape and murder those Detterick girls, I believe him too. I saw him do things that I can't almost believe I saw… he's…" Brutal stopped and remembered what he had heard John say to Beth. She sensed this and it was like John's voice filled the car.

 _I can see scars there._ He had said it to her so softly and he had made her a promise. _You can quit on that hurtin' now. She's fine._

"He saw what happen'd to you."

Beth nodded.

"For another time." She said softly. "You need to sleep."

Brutal unwound his arms and moved to start the car again but somehow he forced himself to brighten his voice.

"Ready for our date tomorrow." He laughed lightly, "Even if it is at the Pen."

Beth smiled a little, relieved and yet exhausted. The car pulled away and they made their way home.


	17. Kiss

**Chapter 16**

With the recent days activities that she was still in the dark about, Beth offered to take all the Guards' laundry from the Mile and do it for them. Brutal agreed that at seven o'clock they would meet back on the Mile as that was the time they'd be taking John to see the screening of Top Hat. Paul had arranged one of the larger halls to be used and Toot was drafted in to run the projector. Beth was a little nervous about seeing John again but now that Brutal knew at least some of the story she felt she could handle whatever he might mention to her. Yet that was nothing compared to the thought that this was to be the last time she would ever see John Coffey. It was the last 24 hours Brutal would be spending in his company too.

The pair of them had rested better the previous night, Brutal had offered to sleep in his chair that they had passed the night before on and Beth take his bed. At first this was agreed on, yet after thirty minutes Beth found she could not sleep imagining him down there spending another night ill at ease. Tiptoeing down in case he was already asleep, Beth popped her head around the door. Brutal was far from asleep, he was sat in the dark and nursing a beer. When he saw her silhouette in the door way he flicked on the lamp, both their eyes squinting at the sudden brightness.

"You can't sit all night like this, Brutus." She urged. "I know it's hard."

"I'm struggling to think what we will have done in two days time." He said. "Been thinking about you too."

"My understanding of the Bible Brutus Howell is that God ain't no fool, he will know that you all didn't want to do this, you don't have a choice."

"We could refuse to do it."

"And you want John's final hours to be with those he doesn't know or trust?" She said gently. "I don't think you'd want that however hard you're findin' this."

"I know, it's why I'm having the beer."

Beth put out her hand toward Brutal, an invitation based on trust and affection.

"Come on with me now. We can both sleep in that bed."

"Are you sure?"

"I am."

"I can be the gentleman." He promised, seeming relieved at the prospect of his own bed with the added bonus of her sleeping in it too.

"I know." She laughed. "And if in an hour you still ain't asleep, I'm goin' to hit you over the head."

Beth knew that he would find an aspect of this incredibly difficult; she was starting to feel that he was holding himself back when he held her. This had been particularly evident when she had kissed him in the car not two hours before. Also it didn't help that for her own sleeping comfort she was wearing one of his cotton undershirts. Brutal was so tall that his clothes would nearly reach halfway down her thighs. Such a sight would be enough to tempt any man who liked a girl as much he did her. But she believed him, he would be a gentleman. In the mean time they both needed the comfort and company.

As the bottom of the stairs he stopped her, she'd left the bedroom lamp on so a faint light enabled them to see. He took her by the waist and looked at her square in the face.

"I'm gonna kiss you good night down here if that's alright?" He asked and waited, his voice sounded wanting and yet there was a gentle patience there which she found incredibly endearing. There was also a ruefulness about it that she remembered from their conversation in the car when they'd joked about getting married. Beth nodded at him, smiling at his words and found him smiling a little back. Without another word he wrapped his arms about her waist now and practically lifted her off her feet so he was able to kiss her. She understood that this was in truth more practical for them both for he didn't have to crane, nor did she have to stretch. But then she realised he was moving her and he and planted her on the second step of the stairs so that their eyes were virtually level now and for a quick moment between kisses she said.

"I'll have to carry a box around with me."

Brutal laughed against her lips but soon enveloped her in a kiss so consuming that she was glad he had such a tight grip of her. Things seemed to spark between them with a greater force now, there had been no tears or chances of interuption now and this led to passionate abandon. His hands moved up her back and waist, hers went to run through his short hair. Unconsciously and completely lost in the moment, Brutal slid his hands down and yanked her closer to him. Their bodies now melded so close together and the suddenness of it making them both groan a little and it brought them back to reality. Beth pulled back slightly, laughing to cover her frustration at having to interrupt it and she rested her hands on Brutal's large chest. His heart was hammering like thunder beneath his skin and his eyes looked so dark with desire for her she nearly weakened.

"That was a good idea." He laughed. "I don't think I could've…."

"I don't know how I…" She said breathlessly her voice overlapping his.

"You go up first; I'll be up in a minute." He replied, catching his own breath and clearly trying to calm himself. That composed exterior was still there, only the mask had slid away a little revealing that still waters did indeed run deep.

"You promise?"

"Yes." He laughed again and then he had to watch her try to make her way up the stairs. Beth found herself almost made dumb by that passionate exchange. It took her longer than normal and she cast a glance over her shoulder at Brutal who was looking at the floor.

Beth made herself comfortable in the bed, allowing enough room she hoped for Brutal to sleep contentedly. It wasn't a small bed, but it was the bed of a bachelor and being tall, he'd opted for a larger frame. For ten minutes she didn't hear sight or sound of him and was about to go and retrieve him when she heard his footsteps coming up the stairs. Her stomach filled with butterflies, she couldn't help it but she waited as peacefully as she could muster. At first he said nothing, just climbed in and made himself comfortable lying on his back. That was the benefit of Beth being much smaller than he, practically a whole foot smaller, she could fit alongside him. At last he turned his head and put out his arm.

"Come here." He said softly and knowing full well she could trust him she shuffled along to him, resting her head on his chest and she felt his arm drape loosely around her. His heart beat in a much more steady rhythm now, though there was still a quickness to it that said he wasn't quite calm. For a while they both looked up at the ceiling and Beth could feel though there was contentment, there was an awkwardness too.

"So…" She said quietly. "I'm twenty four as you know, but as I recall you didn't tell me your exact age, old man."

Beth felt Brutal's laugh rumble through his chest and he tapped her on the shoulder.

"Less of the old, I'm only forty two."

"You were a man when I was born…"

"Alright, alright!" He said turning his head with mock indignation, his face trying its hardest not to break into a smile. "That's eighteen years more wisdom than you got."

"That's very true, old man." She replied ruefully, patting his chest with her hand. "Very true."

"Less of the old, thank you very much."

There it was again, the awkwardness had indeed evaporated but there was another type of tension building. This playfulness between them was only aggravating the situation they were trying to steer clear from happening. But then Beth started to think and she remembered Percy reminding her of her brother's words.

 _You threw your virtue on the fire. The virtue that God blessed you with._

Being used by Percy to torment her allowed her to ignore the sting of the words. But now in the quiet, it was Ben's voice she heard saying it. The feeling she experienced now with Brutal was dampened and pressing her face into his chest she said.

"I'm tired, we should sleep now."

Brutal couldn't have missed the sudden change in her tone but he said nothing, only kissed the top of her head and said another goodnight.

The morning brought sun streaming through the windows, it was a glorious Fall day and the pair rose with a stead y ease that lasted through the morning. As Brutal made them both a cup of coffee, Beth laid out plates and toasted some bread. Looking about his kitchen and house she noticed that a lot could do with attention. He didn't live in a pig sty, but there was no harm in a good, thorough clean. As they travelled to her home to pick up some items for the next two days she addressed the idea that had been brewing in her mind.

"I think whilst you're out tomorrow I'll put my skills to work on your kitchen." She suggested and when he turned to look at her briefly she continued. "If you don' mind."

"I don' mind, but I ain't wantin' a cleaner of you."

"Well…" She mused. "I can't be there with you tomorrow, but I can be here when you get back."

"I like the sound of that." He said, his eyes fixed on the road ahead.


	18. Goodbyes

_**Author's note: After this chapter I will be changing my fic rating to an M as there will be some adult content. However I will be posting a double chapter so that anyone who prefers not to read it can skip it, I shall label it. I really would like to thank my reviewers, especially mTruely for constant encouragement on this story and to anyone else who still reads as always. Some slight fluff and sadness for you in the mean time.**_

 **Chapter 17**

Beth arrived a little early onto the Mile, it having only just passed 6pm. She always liked to see if there was anything she could do to help them. Brutus had left some hours earlier as with the countdown to John's execution coming, there was rehearsing to be done. By the time Beth arrived, John had been taken for his shower and the Guards had done their job and checked everything through. John had even requested to take his last meal on this night Harry had explained to her when she arrived as he didn't think he would want it tomorrow. This entire night now seemed like a strange sort of treat for John, he had gotten his last meal along with Beth's pie and they were going to grant his wish of seeing a flicker show. John being the kind of man he was, he didn't see his surroundings, only the kindness being shown to him before that moment was to come.

Harry, Dean and Paul went to set up the hall not long after Beth's arrival. Paul allowed Brutal to stay at the desk to watch John, knowing full well that he and Beth were practically inseparable. The lead guard had even managed to take her aside briefly and say how pleased he was to see someone on Brutal's arm at last.

"I thank God every damn day for my wife, especially this week." He'd remarked as he smoothed his coat and left the Mile to go and organise Toot and the projector. Once alone the pair stood by the desk, Beth seeing that Brutal placed himself as close to her as he could knowing that even with only John present, he couldn't do much more.

"So what you been doin' with yourself this afternoon?" He asked, nudging her a little with his arm and smiling slightly. Beth did not choose to tell him this point about the phonecall she'd made and how when he was counting down John's final hours tomorrow, she would be visiting Briar Ridge.

"Not much, I just went for a walk to town, you needed some actual fresh fruit in that sparse lookin' bowl of yours."

"Is that your first assault on my kitchen?"

"You bet it is."

"Boss Howell?" John's voice called down the Mile and at the sound of his voice Beth looked towards its origin. She could see John's hands holding the bars.

"Yeah, John?" Brutal replied.

"Can I talk to you and your lady for a minute before we go?"

Brutal looked at Beth, normally she knew he would have strode down there and passed conversation with John at a safe distance. But requesting her too after yesterday had him less sure.

"It's fine." Beth whispered. "Whatever he sees I would tell you. It doesn't matter anyway, right?"

Brutal looked at her with a gentle gaze and he shook his head.

"No, it doesn't matter at all." He replied, then looking back down the Mile he continued. "Yeah, John."

They walked together and stood on the opposite side of the Mile, Beth rested against the bars casually and looked at the giant man.

"Are you excited for the movie, John?" Beth asked, John looked at her and nodded but didn't speak. "How about the pie, was it good?"

"Yes ma'am."

"We'll be taking you to watch soon, John." Brutal added.

John was not looking at Brutal but instead still gazed at Beth, she didn't quite feel the draw as she had last time they had spoken, but he certainly had something emanating. Slowly he put out his hand through the bars and extended it to her.

"Would you mind?"

"Now John I'm not sure that's a good idea…" Brutal explained and Beth knew that despite his belief that John wouldn't hurt a fly, he'd clearly seen enough of John's abilities to make him concerned for her.

"Would boss not like it?" John asked.

"I'm not sure he would."

"It's fine." Beth said and found herself stepping forward, she turned her head to offer a reassuring look to Brutal but he didn't seem convinced. Every step Beth took, he was at her side and he watched keenly the whole time.

"Go steady John." Brutal said levelly, he was kind but he still had a job to do. Beth wasn't quite sure what was going to happen but all she knew was this man was going to die for someone else's crime tomorrow, if this would comfort him then she would do it. As their hands met and John's fingers gently folded over hers his eyes fluttered closed. His face took on a searching look but within a few seconds they reopened and gazed at her softly.

"It healed itself." He said. "Despite what they said."

Beth could feel Brutal's gaze fix on her now as he wanted to see how she took this, but she couldn't look at him, only fix her eyes on John's. There was a depth to them that comforted her but made her feel so sad for him, he carried the sorrow of the world there she was sure.

"How do you know that, John?" She asked softly, edging a little nearer.

"I can see it, I can see the scars but it's all healed."

"What do you mean John?" Brutal asked now, Beth could hear his voice close yet seemingly distant from her, he felt a great deal for her yet he was locked out of this knowledge. They regarded one another for a moment longer before Beth said kindly.

"You said she was fine."

"Yes." John said slowly.

Beth looked down a moment, taking in a deep breath as a flush of long rooted sadness washed through her yet somehow was met by a calming relief, a soothing warmth in her stomach. It felt like she was hearing news that she had waited for for so long.

"Thank you, John."

The large miracle nodded and gently released her hand, stepping back into his cell and sitting on his bunk to wait until Paul returned. For a moment Beth came back to the reality around her and she looked to Brutal, his eyes she didn't think had left her face since John first spoke. A smile broadened on her lips a little and she started to walk back towards the desk, he with her. When they reached the duty desk she took his hand and held it in her own, her face looking up at his.

"After the crash, I was hurt, we all were." She explained. "Percy came out the best off, Theo and I not so much."

"I figured that." Brutal replied gently, but still his face bore a look of worried curiosity.

"I… when it happened, I was pregnant." She continued. "After the crash all that came to an end and I had to have some surgery for my injuries. The doctors said I wouldn't be able to have children after that."

She gave Brutus a moment to take in this information, his eyes seemed to look through her for a moment whilst his brain processed, but within a few seconds he came to again.

"Did Percy know?" He asked.

"After the crash, certainly…." She explained. "When he… when he was running his hands over me in the car I was worried he would feel it, Theo knew."

Again Brutal left her a moment, lost in his thoughts, Beth looked back down the Mile towards the cell.

"Somehow he knew I would have had a little girl." She said quietly, but she had no more time to speak for Harry, Dean and Paul all returned. Beth and Brutal were stood just as they were when they left them and yet Paul seemed to sense something had gone on. He looked at them both for a moment before walking down to John's cell.

"Ready to go big boy?" Paul asked as cheerfully as he could.

"Yes, Boss."

This snapped Brutal into focus and he and the others wandered down to open John's cell and take him across. Beth knew where it had been arranged and after making a quick stop to the rest room would join them there.

Looking at herself in the small, marked mirror of the bathroom there was only one thing she wondered at this moment. What would Brutus have said had the others not come back? What was he thinking? He had promised nothing would make a difference, but this was still not your run of the mill confession. She splashed a little bit of water on her face and then wandered towards the hall. She could hear the distant notes of Fred Astaire's voice, each step nearer made his words clearer. When she walked into the dark hall she saw lots of rows of chairs which seemed almost comical given there would only be 6 of them sitting and adding Toot for good measure on the projector.

Harry and Dean were sat together at the back nearest the door, their eyes turned to look at her as she entered and both smiled. John she could see was seated right at the front, his eyes looking upwards at Astaire and Rogers' graceful dancing. Paul sat about halfway down and seemed to be watching John's reaction as much as the film. On the opposite side, parallel to him was Brutal and he was watching the screen too. As quietly as she could she edged herself to him and sat down beside him, he didn't look at her, his eyes now like Paul watching John. Beth knew this wasn't necessarily a bad sign, he did have a job to do after all and as serene as John had been, he could snap at any moment she supposed as any man facing Old Sparkly might. Instead she settled back against the wooden chair and watched the movie. Soon she found herself lost in the narrative, the grace and the music of it all, its gentle rhythm heart warming and entertaining too.

After a minute or so of being seated she felt her hand being sought and Brutus took it in one of his own, threading his fingers with hers. Beth looked up and met his eyes, they were soft and he gave her such a loving look that her body fluttered a little, it was as much relief as the recognition of being cared for. Because that's what was growing wasn't it? Love. Beth edged up a little closer so that her side pressed against his and she rested her head on his shoulder. She saw Brutal look past her and as her eyes followed she saw Paul giving them a glance. There was a small smile of recognition between them men, it was about John to be sure but judging by Paul's words to her earlier it somehow was a smile referring to her to. Her head relaxed on Brutal's shoulder and she went back to watching the film, their fingers still intertwined.

As the film drew to a close Paul moved over to where Brutal and Beth were sat.

"Once we get him back in his cell Brutal, you take Beth home."

"You sure, Paul?"

"Everythin' is as ready as it can be… I think it ain't gonna be no better."

"Would I be able to say goodbye to John, Paul?" Beth asked.

"By all means, Elizabeth… only… make it the kind of goodbye you would say to anyone you might be seeing again soon." Paul explained.

"I will."

As John was approaching the door with Paul and Brutal, Beth was waiting for them with Dean and Harry. For the first time Beth noticed the St. Christopher hanging around John's neck and she remarked.

"That is very beautiful, John."

"Thank you ma'am." He answered, a little sadder sounding now the movie was over but with a light in his eyes from what he had watched. "A lady gave it to me."

"That's right, John." Paul answered, then he said gently. "Beth is going home now so we'll need to say goodnight."

John looked at Beth and she at him, their gaze lingering a moment both knowing what this meant. Beth wasn't sure what else to say so taking one of his hands in her own she did something she had never done before, kissed it. Then her eyes followed up the tree trunk arm to the face which looked serene yet sad again.

"Goodbye John."

"Goodbye ma'am." He replied quietly and Harry, Dean and Paul led him out, Brutal lingering a little behind to ask her to meet him at the car. He handed her the keys and she did as he said. The last look of John she had was as a silhouette as he was led down the corridor with the four men around him, dwarfing each one, even Brutus. As he melted from her view she felt a great wave of sadness and tears rose to her eyes. Beth allowed them to spill whilst she walked to the car, she wanted all traces of them gone for when Brutal arrived. She had to help him carry his own greater burden in all of this now.

For fifteen minutes or so she sat in the car alone, then at last she heard his tread and he climbed into the driver's seat. His hands rested on the wheel and he looked ahead for a moment, a deep, heavy breath escaping his lips. Beth rested on hand on top of his and he looked at her.

"This ain't really the place I wanted to do this but…" He turned a little to properly face her, the interior of the car and themselves lit up dimly in the perimeter lights of the Pen. "I love you."

His words sent her emotions reeling, they absorbed her and seemed to light up every neurone and increase ever heartbeat to a greater pitch. Indeed she felt likewise and had done certainly for some days now. For a moment she was speechless as his words took hold of her but then cupping his cheek with her hand she said.

"Well there's my knowing I love you too."


	19. Briar Ridge

_**Author's note: A rather long chapter, I hope you all enjoy!**_

 **Chapter 18**

When Beth woke that morning she was laid on her side facing out to the window, it was an overcast Fall day where the sun is present but strains to get past the thick cloud. Brutal was laid behind her, his body facing the same way, yet though he was not spooned right up against her, one of his arms hung lazily over her waist. He was breathing deeply and she knew he was still asleep, she would not stir just yet and run the risk of waking him. Her exposed arm was chilly, the room was cool and she appreciated the paradox of the warmth from Brutal's large frame behind her. When they had got home, they had walked hand in hand upstairs and slept more soundly than previous nights, their talk in the car allowing them emotional respite from what was to come. Beth was pleased he knew most of her story, or the bare bones anyway, when all this was over and his mind could at least consider bearing with what he had to do tonight she would tell him the rest.

Altering her position a little due to sleeping on her other arm, which now was stiff at the elbow she accidently roused him and he groggily opened his eyes. For a moment their heavy lids drooped and he scanned the room then her, a small, sleepy smile breaking when he beheld her.

"Mornin." He murmured, his throat sounding slightly gruffer and he rubbed his eyes.

"Mornin'." She replied and turned onto her other side to face him, the tingles from pins and needles beginning in her now free arm.

"It's still takin' some getting used to."

"What is?"

"Wakin' up with another person in here." He said still sound sleep heavy yet he was content, he hadn't thought about tonight yet.

"Sacrifices have to be made, you want your kitchen doin', you need to give up a share of your bed." Beth explained jabbing him in the ribs which roused him a little. Putting an arm round her he roughly pulled her to him so that she was pressed close into his side. His chin rested on the top of her head and she heard him intake a heavy sigh and she knew he was closing his eyes again. For a few more minutes they laid like that, he dozing and coming around until at last clarity came to him. Then she heard a sigh of a different sort, a much more careworn one and wriggling slightly so that she could see his face, she looked at him for a long moment. His eyes said everything he was feeling, though they were dry and open but yet she found herself stroking his cheek and whispering.

"I know."

He took hold of the hand touching him and kissed the palm of it, then bent to kiss her. Whatever worries she had about them getting ahead of themselves, it wasn't going to be the case this morning. Here was a man too lost now in what was to come, yet holding her for a while seemed to offer a little bit of comfort.

"It's strange." He said flatly. "I feel like the happiest person alive, yet the worst man on God's earth today."

"What did John say when Paul spoke to him about it?"

"That he wanted it to be over, he can' take no more."

"But that's not helpin' you guys is it?" She said, kissing his cheek and wrapping an arm around him to anchor her closer.

"It ain't a way to go…. Since Del especially… I dunno." Brutal couldn't frame his thoughts fully into words but Beth guessed what he was thinking.

"You ever thought of doin' somethin' else?"

"I can't leave Paul there. If he can bear it, well… you've seen him, he's closer to John in a way we aren't…. he's seen things…. Well if he can bear it….we must too."

"You're a loyal friend, Brutus." She said softly. "I know I can't take any of it from you and all this will be poor consolation but… when you come home tonight, I'll have food if you wanna eat, fresh bedding if you wanna sleep and a spruced up house. That ain't anything of importance I know but what I really mean is…. somehow when you come back, we'll find a way together to help you bear some of this."

Brutal didn't answer her in words, he just pulled her all the tighter to him, his arms snug around her and they remained that way for a long while.

After they both rose she spoke of errands that she needed to run and that she would visit Dolores'. Ideally she wouldn't have left Brutal but he was a grown man and she knew whatever her presence offered he had been through things alone before.

Beth went to Dolores' and from there her friend drove her to Briar Ridge mental hospital. As they neared, Beth could tell her old friend was far from pleased about her going.

"I wish you'd think again, you got a nice man now, no need to be harkin' back to this."

Beth was looking through the window and could see a small, dark haired woman elegantly dressed waiting near the entrance.

"I can't back out now." Beth murmured more to herself than Dolores. "She's waiting for me."

They arranged to meet here again in an hour and stepping from the car Beth felt her stomach flip nervously. The woman she was going to meet also did not look quite at home, though Beth guessed this was not her first visit here, just perhaps her first time going behind enemy lines.

"Elaine?" Beth called quietly as she neared the young woman who like her had dark hair and dark eyes, in fact she had a resemblance to her brother in that way. At the sound of her name being called, Elaine Wetmore looked towards Beth and offered a nervous smile. "Thank you for agreeing to meet me."

"I needed to talk to someone about all this; no one really tells me anything." Elaine stuttered, she seemed much less forthcoming than her brother, though from what Theo had told her in the past this was not always the case. Near the side of the hospital were some benches and the pair sat on one ready to talk things through. Elaine though nervous got straight to the point.

"Were you there when it happened?"

"Yes… sort of."

"Is it true he killed that criminal?"

"Yes."

"Why would he do that?"

"Because…. The man had grabbed him a little before… he… he wet himself in fright and you know how he could be if his pride was hurt."

"But… Percy wouldn't do that…"

Elaine must have seen the expression on Beth's face as she said this, Beth couldn't mask it at this point after everything.

"I know he wasn't perfect, Beth." Elaine said quietly. "But, you know there was a reason he wanted to transfer here."

"He supposed he could make up for it all by bein' Theo's guardian angel?"

Beth's bitterness ran away from her then and she forcibly clamped her mouth shut from any further utterances for a moment. Elaine felt the full sting of her words and a pained expression came on her face. Regret filled Beth for causing such a look, she didn't know Elaine as well as others did, but she knew she did not deserve such harsh words.

"I'm sorry." Beth said, resting her hand on one of Elaine's arms that she hugged herself with as though protecting herself from further possible verbal injury. "Everythin' that's happened… it's not been easy for either of us. I want to be back on the same hymn sheet with you."

For a moment the pained look remained on Elaine's face, but after absorbing Beth's words she relaxed a little, her arms dropping back to her sides.

"I know." She answered at last, looking at Beth for a long moment. "I will help you as much as I can this once. What are you wanting?"

"I haven't seen Theo since he was brought here."

"That was my Aunt's request." Elaine explained. "That crash caused a to do in our family, I'm sure Percy told you our Uncle's the Governor."

"Once or twice." Beth said in a much softer tone. "I want to close the door on all this, I don't intend to play a part in your families troubles any further, willingly or not."

"Then we have a deal, I suppose. I help you see him this once, but I don't want to hear your name connected with any of us ever again."

At this moment, despite any affection for certain people in the past, Beth wanted nothing more than to leave all this behind and bury it. She nodded and was surprised when Elaine offered her a kind smile, a genuinely kind one, perhaps she understood more than her bargain contained. Elaine walked towards the entrance of Briar Ridge, Beth following yet as she was about to step in her mind turned to thinking about Brutus and she became worried.

Beth was silent whilst Elaine explained the two of them wishing to see visitors, it appeared Elaine was allowed to see Percy who remained as catatonic as when he arrived and Theo was dubbed 'suitably sedated' to see her. As they climbed the stairs to the respective wing, Beth was surprised how white everything was, clinical and crisp and there was the faint sound of inmates all around. It wasn't an unpleasant noise per se, it was the noise of another kind of life, some cries, some laughter, some chatter. Beth knew for sure this was certainly where Percy would spend the rest of his whole life, not just his professional one. He had joined his cousin.

When Theo had been declared mentally ill following the accident, the blunt trauma to his head was deemed as the cause. Doctors said head injuries could cause personality changes and that mental illness could often be a result. Beth had seen Theo only on a few occasions after the crash, once the physical injuries healed enough for him to be discharged he visited her once or twice. She could never put her finger on the change herself, nor did she see much evidence of why he was deemed medically insane, but Percy told her enough.

At home it seemed his behaviour became so erratic and unpredictable that his parents feared for their safety aswell as his. The cynic in Beth always wondered how much his family's reputation being potentially 'embarrassed' by his change in health following the small scandal that was the crash impacted on the decision for him to remain here.

On their last meeting before he was taken away, he had spoken to her normally for some minutes, checking about her own health. But then it had changed.

" _Do you ever wonder if we'd have died in that crash little girl?"_

 _He called her that sometimes as an endearing pet name, but this time it sounded colder, yet he had her hands held tight in his._

" _I thank God you're alright all in all."_

" _I was nearly ready to go when they told me about you, the way they told it. I could have killed them all."_

" _Don't mind what they say, Theo. Don't get angry about it!"_

 _He laughed here, it had been bitter, in all her time she had never seen him laugh like that, it chilled her. His expression was darker, his eyes deeper, less blue almost. But it was the line that now rested over his brow from the permanent frown that she noticed the most. There was a tension that never went away._

" _You wouldn't know, I'm this, I'm a certain level, I'm expected to see and do and say. All I wanted was a little piece of myself, a spot of green to sit with you on it, your brother with us sometimes, laughing." Then his voice became really erratic, worrying to hear. "Then there was that baby to bounce on your knee and Percy…. Percy…. I could knock a bell or two out of that boy…. Then you, its hurts you know to see you, I don't know if I want to see you anymore. I love you. But then I'll be crawling up the walls. I'd like some darkness, some simplicity, some peace."_

 _His hands had gripped her so hard she felt the joints in her fingers ache, they were sore for the rest of the day. She tried not to show it but his look was so intense and his grip so tight that tears starting to emerge from her eyes._

" _Why are you crying?" He asked confused, releasing her hands and standing up, rubbing his hands down his face in agitation. He'd paced and looked back and forth from her for minutes, looking like he wanted to say so many things but didn't. As the minutes went on his face grew whiter and exhaustion seemed to set in. His pallor became so unhealthy that he staggered back to where she sat. What followed was what she was told was a 'fit' and it was a sight she never would forget in all her life._

Elaine had gone to see her brother, Beth explaining that she did not feel she needed to see Percy. There was nothing vague about her memories of him that needed reviving. A nurse took her to a small white room; it was certainly in a nicer part of the building where money obviously spoke. The nurse explained that she would be by the door.

"Don't expect much from him, he has bad bouts of dark times so we try to keep him peaceful."

Beth entered the room and saw the man she once loved most in all the world seated with his back to her. The nurse gestured her head to assure Beth it was safe to approach him, but it wasn't fear of him that worried her. In truth, Theo before the crash was one of the few wholesome, happy memories she held and seeing him now in this way might obliterate that all together. But Beth owed it to herself and him to take those steps forward, she'd come too far. His hair was a little longer and was not longer carefully brill creamed into a smart look but hung in loose locks. As she walked around to the face him she saw he was a little pale but otherwise his pallor seemed of old. But the eyes when she saw them were barely present, yet it was not a disturbing vacancy but rather a dreamy like state. It was true though, the man she had once loved did not really live here anymore.

"Theo?" She asked quietly, his head twitched at the sound but his eyes did not focus on her. Wetting her lips and swallowing nervously she took a step forward, kneeling down into a crouch to look up at him. She tested this for a few seconds and he still did not respond in anyway. At last, tentatively she put out her hand and rested it on his. "Theo, it's me."

At her touch he slowly looked down at where her hand rested atop of his, he then raised his eyes slowly to her. For a moment she could see his consciousness trying to push through the dreamy veil and when his eyes focused a little better, she felt his hand turn and press his palm to hers.

"Do you know me?" She asked.

A small smile came on his face and he looked at her.

"Nurse." He replied groggily. Beth's eyes dropped to their hands, the sadness stinging her a little. Inhaling deeply she looked back up, squeezing his hand gently.

"That's right." She said softly. "You seem happy today Theo."

He nodded slowly, still looking at her with a subdued, groggy focus, the smile lazily hanging on his lips.

"I just wanted to come in and say hello, Theo." She explained. "I wanted to see that we're taking good care of you, we want you to be happy."

Theo nodded again, his handsome face looking at her with none of the welcome and love that it used to. Instead only a crooked smile and one or two words were her reward, yet she expected no more.

"I don't know how much of this you'll remember but… I'm going to talk to Ben and say sorry, I realised I never did." Her throat seemed to become dry as did her lips, she wondered if she could manage the rest. Her hands laced her fingers with his and she squeezed them affectionately again. "Also, I'm doing okay, you can see that even if you don't remember. But I'll remember this, I promise."

Theo's dazed stare seemed to start to dissipate, his eyes blinking heavily and his fingers relaxing in hers. Somehow she had wanted a little longer with the small part of him coming through but she realised her time was running out.

"Thank you for those summers Theo." She said and she cupped his cheek, happy to feel it was warm. "You take care of yourself."

As she started to rise she looked towards the door, the nurse was standing in the corridor but that wasn't who she looked at. Elaine was standing in the doorway; she had likely watched the whole exchange. Her face bore a look of deep sympathy and Beth found some comfort in its softness. Taking one last look at her former love, Beth walked towards Elaine and was touched when the young woman embraced her for a few moments. It was this small embrace that kept the tears at bay, it was a balm for the pain. The nurse closed the door and the two women walked a little way down the corridor.

"I am going to spend some time with Percy, but I wanted to see you before you left… there's somethings I wanted to tell you." Elaine explained quietly, conscious of the nurse hovering still near Theo's door. "I… I know how you're feeling right now, or some of it. Our situations maybe be different, Percy is my brother where as you might have married Theo one day… but that closeness for both of us is broken and I… I wanted to say one of us at least appreciates the pain it must have caused you. Theo used to mention you openly at home, he was never ashamed to speak of you, I won't lie that it was always well received but… I think you know he loved you."

Beth was overwhelmed, her whole body felt shaky and she knew she wanted to leave for she could not take any more of the burden right at this moment. Perhaps it was the kindness that Elaine was showing with these words that made it so difficult to hear, there was no upbraid or attempt at shaming Beth for the past. Elaine it seemed did understand.

"Thank you Elaine." Beth managed somehow, taking the young woman's hands and squeezing them gently. She started to move away but Elaine kept hold of them gently.

"In his own way…" She stammered. "Percy wanted to make amends too, he got you the job because of that… I think the men in our family had a habit of loving you."

Elaine's kindness left Beth unwilling to break the illusion she was painting of Percy. To Elaine, he was her brother and very likely a good one, but Percy would always be the tormentor of Elizabeth Hadler and the once near ruin of her life. But she had no right to shatter a sister's love or dampen that image. It would now be Elaine's only comfort. Beth bid Elaine goodbye and quickly exited Briar Ridge hoping she never again would have to go there.

The past was behind her and as she spotted Dolores' car waiting through tear filled eyes, she thanked God for what was waiting before her.


	20. Cobwebs

_**Author's notes: This chapter contains mature content, I ended up writing this and the previous chapter a little differently than I originally intended.**_

 **Chapter 19**

On returning to Brutus' house, Beth began her work. She cleaned through his small lounge where they had sat that first night after Percy shot Wharton. Using all her tricks of the trade she had his windows sparkling using vinegar and finishing them off with newspaper. She dragged out each piece of furniture, sweeping, dusting and wiping until at last the place looked like it had a thorough spring clean. Her eyes moved to the clock, it was nearing seven by the time she was thinking of starting on the kitchen and her whole body became agitated knowing John's execution was near.

By seven thirty she was a bag on nerves and so throwing herself into work that didn't even necessarily need to be done, Brutus after all wasn't that untidy, she tried to distract herself. Her trusty safety pin was brought out and her dress fastened in place, leaving her completely free to do as she pleased. As nine o'clock hit she was done in the kitchen and she fetched the washing in from the small yard and soon had everything right and perfect. The problem was back on the Mile, John's execution would be just starting and she had finished everything. The work had been an outlet for a lot of the excess energy from the day and her nerves were not feeling quite as wrought as they had earlier. Beth realised she had to do her best to overcome the heavy heart she had about John and Brutus' part in it. For the last few hours she had been distracted by righting a house that was barely out of sync, now she needed something else. But tiredness was overcoming her frame from the physical work she had undertaken and the best thing seemed to be bathing.

Feel refreshed from this, her shoulder length hair towel dried and hanging at her shoulders and wearing her nightdress she came back downstairs to wait. If he was hungry the food was ready, the bed was freshly laid, everything was as she had promised. All that was needed now was seeing him and discovering how he was bearing the part he was now playing. Her stomach churned as she glanced at the clock and she took out one of the beers she had restocked earlier that day on her way home and sat in Brutus' chair. The world never seemed so quiet, so suspended in a long moment as it did now. Her body felt heavy and her eyes started to droop. Placing the bottle down she rested her hands in her lap and it wasn't long before she drifted off to sleep.

A rattle and a screech awoke her with a start, her heart beating wildly in her chest. Beth's senses seemed on immediate high alert and she was wide awake yet she had no idea of the time. Brutus still wasn't home. The screech came again, or rather it was an angry yowl from a predatory cat whose territory was suffering trespassers. Laughing a little to herself she sat back in the chair and glanced around the room until something caught her eye. It was up high and in the far corner of the room and she wasn't sure how she had missed it. A spindly legged spider had progressively been making a web where the wall met the ceiling opposite to where she sat. It was the small thing Beth had always found difficult to ignore as the stuff looked shabby and would then drop and hang, waving irritatingly in the air. Walking to the kitchen she fetched the feather duster she had bought from beneath the sink and went back to the lounge. Calculating her move she fetched one of the dining chairs from the kitchen and placed it by the wall.

Beth's height despite the chair was a stumbling block here and she was having to reach up onto her tiptoes to achieve her goal and her nightdress was not helping her progress. The safety pin was lying upstairs with her things and she didn't want to stop now. Holding the handle of the duster in her teeth she took the side of her nightdress, twisted and knotted it. It was crude but it would last long enough for her to complete her task. The spider defiantly began its work on the next wall and she found herself talking to it.

"Don't get comfortable, Mister."

Reaching back up she started to take down the offence web, pulling her arm back every so often to shake the blood back into it. Every minute or so she would get down, move the chair a little to the right and keep going and it once again immersed her beyond thinking of anything else. Feeling more awake from her short nap she was determined to beat the intruder.

So engrossed was she that she didn't hear Brutus come in, now had she any idea of the time. His entrance was quiet and with most of the house in darkness, he was not sure whether she was still awake. Walking towards the lounge he saw the lamp on, his viewed of Beth reaching up on the dining chair with her nightdress skirt knotted at the top of her thighs and her hair drying at loose waves at her shoulders was a sight he didn't expect to see at this time.

"What are you doing?" He said softly not wanting to startle her, yet it still did. Beth's whole body jerked at the sound of his voice and for a split second that terror from being made jumped ripped through her. Her armed snapped back towards her body and she spun around on the chair, her balance becoming unsteady and she started to stagger. Brutus rushed forward for with his stride it took barely a second and he reached out an arm to catch her. Beth's hands gripped the offered arm and she breathlessly regained a standing position on the chair, looking down only a little at Brutus from her elevated state. Her chest ached from the short, sharp breaths and her heart beating wildly and she could feel her cheeks burning from the shock.

"I didn't… I didn't see you…"

"I can see that."

Now that she processed what had just happened everything came back to her, the initial shock was retreating and reality returning. Brutus' eyes looked heavy and the light had gone out of them. His jacket was gone and he stood there with his shirt sleeves rolled up and his braces hanging at his sides. He'd obviously been in a few minutes before finding her in here. His hands went up to her waist to steady her and she stepped forward a little in readiness for him to lift her down. Yet instead they stared at one another a moment, she saw his eyes travel down to her bare feet and then up over her legs, her body and then her face.

"I was getting the cobwebs." She explained, turning to where the spider was now halfway across the other wall and she pointed. "There's the intruder."

Her whole body fluttered with nervousness for turning to look back at Brutus she saw his eyes had not left her face. The day's events at Briar Ridge seemed to disappear from her mind, so did the spider in fact and she swallowed hard and felt her legs tremble ever so slightly.

"Are you alright?" She asked shakily, his hands massaged her hip bones through her nightdress and he moved to kiss her. The moments their lips touched Brutal's self-control seemed to vanish and his hands went around her, his fingers gripping the fabric of her nightdress at the small of her back. At being pulled towards him so abruptly, Beth's hands slipped around his neck and she felt herself being lifted off the dining chair and carried over to the arm chair.

Brutus placed her down on the chair gently enough but his loving assault on her senses caused by his hands and lips continued. He rested on his knees, his hands running up to hold her face as he kissed her lips, her jaw line and then down to her neck. Beth's body flooded with heat and there was a rush of utter desire that hit like a tidal wave which had been building in recent days. It had been a long time since she felt at the mercy of such feelings and Brutus' ministrations were stopping any possible thought. His kisses and touches were those of a man who craved intimacy after what he had been part of tonight. He held her with a fierce closeness as his hands explored over her curves and he clearly was only thinking how much he needed her in that moment.

His name fell from her lips in a murmur and she felt his hands move to her thighs, kneading the flesh there as he continued his kisses on her throat. Her name was spoken against her skin between kisses, and her mind still a blank canvass. The last fleeting thought that she had was this was too soon really, yet at this moment nothing felt more necessary. Beth could feel all of the sorrow of the night, the deep pain of what he'd been part of bleed from him and into the air around them. This was not a permanent solution, but it was delicious comfort and no part of her wanted to deny him even if she should.

His hands pushed up her nightdress to her hips and Beth's hands moved towards the buttons on his shirt, unfastening two or three before his hands moved to still hers.

"Let me." He said, his eyes meeting hers, so deep and dark withal the spectrum of emotions that were racing through his body both good and bad in that moment. "Please."

The look was disarming, she felt like a transfixed prey only there was nothing she wanted more. Her brother's words should have come into her head, Percy's scorn also yet there was nothing. There was only his eyes looking at her, waiting and at last she nodded. Whatever he had gone through tonight it seemed that all he wanted was to lose himself in her, give everything he had in his power to her. He was a handsome man and likely in the past he had known women, how many she didn't care but part of her was pleased she wasn't all innocence. First he destroyed her defences with kisses, and she knocked down a few of his too, but when he moved and gently rested her thighs on his shoulders she knew she was about to be undone. It was terrifying to dare to fall again, but when his eyes looked at her with the adoration that rested there, she wasn't afraid.

Things had changed from her late teens, driving to a secluded spot with Theo and stealing minutes of private intimacy in the confined spaces of his plush car. At first it had seemed romantic but then it became a far cry from it, it was a painful sting of being hidden from the world. Perhaps that is why her brother became so angry with her, did he know how Theo operated and that Beth would have thrown her virtue away in the back on a car down an off road track? It hadn't happened anywhere near as quickly as what was happening now, her first love was a tidal wave accompanied by nerves and innocence. This was running full speed into the arms of someone who adored her.

When Brutus looked up at her face, her breathing was coming down from the pitch it had reached as her muscles had coiled and spasmed. Her fingers relaxed from the firm grip they had on the fabric and she suddenly flushed with shyness, a glow seeming to fill her from tip to toe. When her eyes met his he was gently resting her feet back on the floor and he moved forward a little, pulling her back into an embrace. It felt strange, to be so close to him yet he was dressed, he only wanted to show her he loved her, that he craved to be with her any way possible.

"You're so beautiful." He said looking at her, and coming around fully now she blushed deeper, not wanting to be bashful. His eyes were still dark; he had the look of a man still desperate to lose himself and who only wanted to be lost with her. Her hand touched his face and for a fleeting second she saw the careworn burden surface in his eyes, it was a sad thing to see. Pulling him to her again she kissed him deeply, her hands returning to the buttons on his shirt. Now she would help him lose himself and she took his hand. The spider finished its journey, the lounge lamp stayed on yet upstairs Beth experienced the unyielding, distracting and overwhelming power of Brutus Howell. It was beyond intense, the culmination of their passion after all the pain nearly brought tears to her eyes from the concentration of it. She felt every muscle beneath her hands as she clung to him, felt every strong yet pleasure inducing roll of his hips. Brutus was lost; she knew that, his face buried in the crook of her neck, his arms supporting his weight, her knees locking him in place. For that window of time, they were in another world and the guilt, anger and grief of John Coffey's execution was banished for a little while.


	21. Nostalgia

**Chapter 20**

 _Beth._

 _Beth._

 _Beth._

 _She was holding Theo's hands tight as he sat looking at her with dazed contentment, she could still feel his fingers held by her own. The room was white and cold, a harsh yellow light illuminating right above them from one solitary bulb. In the distance was the sound of a car getting nearer, the faint laughter of the passengers audible. The hands gripped her own harshly all of a sudden, painfully and Beth looked up into Theo's face, he was angry and his eyes were wide._

" _GODAMMIT PERCY!"_

 _Then there was the screech, the grate, the collision and her hands were ripped from Theo's, the room being swept away and a swirling darkness surrounded her. Beth was being painfully flung and she knew she was crying. Then nothing. Cold, stark nothing apart from the sound of her own sobs. Then there was that same old voice called her back, demanded she open her eyes._

 _Beth._

 _Beth._

 _Beth._

 _Ben stood at the foot of her bed, his eyes disappointed and dark. They looked at one another, the hard gaze from a brother to a sister too much to bear yet she was unable to look away._

" _Ben?"_

 _How he needed to just say one word, his voice would make everything better, but he looked on. There was hurt and anger in his eyes, but more than that he was ashamed of her, a brother humiliated somehow by his sister._

" _I understand." She begged, "I do understand now."_

 _But he merely looked on at her, the look never lifting and the pain only growing larger in her mind and heart._

Beth's eyes opened and she blinked several times, the image of her brother now banished by her wakefulness. The early morning light illuminated the room at a medium grey, things were visible yet still only outlines. Her body felt lighter than ever, sated and content but her mind now harked back to the one thing still left to do after yesterday as well as the pain that would still be present in the man who now lay next to her. Brutal was laid on his back sound asleep. Beth's head still rested on his arm and she wriggled down to relieve some of the pressure on it. For a minute she glanced at him, her eyes adjusting a little better to the dark. The small amount she was able to see told her that whatever he was dreaming was likely lacking in peace as was her own, even in slumber he was haunted by recent ghosts.

The way he had taken possession of her, his touch demanding and his kisses feverish, she couldn't have denied him. Nor did she want to deep down, though her conscience or rather the morality laid on by others in the past troubled her. Last night he had gone through something that would stay with him forever and though she felt a mixture of emotions including a little shame she shook it off and saw her comforting him as a blessing. Indeed where would either of them have been in recent days without each other? Lying beneath him she'd not even been able to think, he moved so powerfully though he not taken her for granted at any point. It was a strange partnership when passionate power mixed with such loving gentleness. Had it been anyone else, her mind would have plagued her with thoughts of shame and guilt whilst she was with them, but only one thought had passed her mind from the moment he had begun to kiss her. That was that she hadn't wanted him to stop, however rash and soon it was.

But now in the early morning, those old words rang true and clear, fresh in her mind as though they were uttered only yesterday. Her brother's words, the look on his face and when he had turned from her and never spoken to her since. Her brother had never looked at her that way yet Beth knew in an instant she had broken something precious, like a mirror that had been cracked. Ben was the only true family she had left and at the time she had said barely a word in response to his, she had not pleaded or argued. In truth she did not think he had the right to say such things after he had introduced her to Theo and encouraged her accompanying them so many times. Theo was his best friend, did he not know what he was like? Yet after a week of his departure and silence, a new anger filled Beth towards her brother, the resentment that he had let Percy Wetmore's confession come between them. How could Ben have decided her punishment after only speaking to that boy, for he was at that time? She had been his sister, yet he cast her out on the words of a lustful, petulant teenager.

Now at twenty four, her mind understood, whatever Ben had done, she had hurt him. In one visit to a hospital he discovered his best friend seriously injured, his sister too only to discover there had been four passengers, not three. Sadly one did not make it, one was bound for Briar Ridge and she for exile. Only Percy came out virtually unscathed, a concussion and a broken collar bone his only ills. If only her brother had seen beyond his anger to see what she had lost to, it was her first love sent to Briar Ridge and their baby that she had lost and to add to the pain, the cause of it all dividing her from her own flesh and blood. It had been a lot to bear but time had given her a little humility and though she refused to solely rebuke herself, she acknowledged her brother's view. Perhaps after all these years it was time to offer the olive branch.

Brutal roused near her, closing the distance between them by moving his warm body and pressed close to her.

"Beth." He said softly and she turned on her side to face him. "You alright?"

"Just thinkin', I only woke up a few minutes before you." She explained, but he could tell she was a little preoccupied. Wrapping his arms about her he pulled her into a embrace, her head resting on his chest and he kissed the top of her head.

"None of that yet." He said quietly, his own mind likely starting to become polluted by other thoughts too. "The sun ain't up yet. I wanna stay as we are."

Beth inhaled deeply, enjoying the warmth of his body and the comfort of his arms; it had been a lonely few minutes of thought. But though her eyes were closed, she was not ready to sleep again just yet and she could tell from his breathing he wasn't either.

"Tell me somethin' a few don't know about you?"

"Like what?" He asked, opening his eyes. Beth moved a little, her elbow placed upon his chest, her chin resting on it. She could look him right in the face from there in the dim light.

"What were you and your sister like as kids?" Beth asked gently. "You noisy?"

"My sister was, always dragging me here and there. You wouldn't think she was two years younger… she always liked to be the boss." Brutal's tone was warm, especially on the last part and it was a familiar tone she was pleased to hear return for a little while. "I remember one time teaching her to fish, or rather tryin' to…. she was so impatient. After an hour of catchin' nothin' she would throw down the rod and walk home."

Beth laughed, her free hand taking hold of one of his. His gaze was at her, but the tone was full of nostalgia.

"I couldn't get her to pick up a rod again after she turned eight…. Too impatient." He laughed again. "She soon squared with it though when her husband took her, back in their early days…. She's a one that girl."

His words were so earnest and endearing that Beth reached up and kissed him, just long enough to show him how much these words made her love him all the more. His fingers smoothed her less tidy mane and he looked at her deeply a moment.

"Tell me something about you?" He asked, tucking some hair behind her ear. Beth considered a moment.

"My mother would read me bits from The Wizard of Oz, it was my favourite and yet sometimes I would want her to read for so long, she would try and skip little bits to hurry the chapter along. But I had listened to her read it so many times, I knew even if three words were missing. In the end she said we could only read it on afternoons on a weekend as it would take so long." Beth explained, feeling bittersweetness at the recollection. "She would get us to help her clean, she was a taller woman than me and she'd say I'd take the low bits, Ben the medium bits and she the high bits. Then one day she handed Ben the feather duster and explained he had grown past her so he would be the high bits and she the medium bits. I was always the low bits."

"Ever since I first met you, you've been reaching up to the high bits." Brutal said ruefully. "The laundry room and here."

"Well…." Beth said, her tone changing a little. "There's just me now so…"

"I don't think that's true." He said, pulling her back into a hug as he felt the sadness start to leak into her voice. "Let's keep doin' this."

"What?"

"Nice stories… it keeps the bad away for a bit."

For the next hour they did, lying together and learning more about the other's past, the happier times for at present they were living some of the darkest. At the end of it, Beth pulled Brutal to her again and the pair forgot themselves and the world for a little while longer in such a passionate way. When the morning light came they both lay side by side, her head resting in the crook of his arm and fast asleep. He awoke again a little before her, her top half free from the covers and the room cool. Brutal slowly pulled up the blanket, stopping a second to notice properly for the first time the scar on her abdomen. Gently he replaced the covers around her and closed his eyes, knowing full well he had passed a night he would both hate to recall yet treasure for he had never journeyed so in a twelve hour period. The day rolled in and so did reality, yet grief could blossom many beautiful things.


	22. Decisions

_**Author's note: Hello, a long time no posting from myself. I suppose I lost my path with this a bit but I feel like I know where I want to take this story in its remaining chapters. Thank you to any further faves during my absence from posting, I do appreciate it. Please do fave and review if you enjoy this still, it does help the ball roll I find**_ __ _ **.**_

 **Chapter 21**

Twenty four hours following the death of John Coffey rolled into forty eight and soon a sombre week had passed over the Mile. The air had hung stale and silent, the Mile uninhabited and even outside in the real world, the brow of the sky was solemn and low. Beth had not ventured home for the entirety of the week, she spent the best part of the days busying herself on the Mile or ordering the little that needed tidying in Brutus' home. It was a restless week, a week that fell heavy on the soul for there was a sorrow that would not be shaken any time soon. Yet in the eye of it was herself and Brutus, their love and affectionate for one another blooming beneath the sadness and injustice of an innocent man's execution. Many a time did Beth recall that final look she and John exchanged, the small expression of almost happiness as he recalled the lady who gave him the St. Christopher. Now he was gone from this earth, he had taken his gifts and his deeds with him and when she looked at Brutus, Paul, Harry and Dean she could see a light had gone out in each of them too.

On the seventh day, Brutus came home at his lowest ebb. Perhaps a quiet Mile was the worst thing for them all at his time for what memories it conjured. Del's gruesome passing, Percy's possession and Wild Bill's butchering but mostly that last walk they all took with John. But then something else occurred to shake the little world they ran between themselves, a world of respect and kindness, deep friendship too. When he entered the kitchen, Brutus didn't remove his jacket, he merely came in with a blank expression and seated himself at the kitchen table. Hearing him come in, for today he had finished late afternoon, Beth came down having just freshened up the bed linen. Staring ahead at the kitchen counter tops he sat, so vacant from what troubled him was he that at first he did not register her entrance. This wasn't lack of care on his part; he was consumed by all the thoughts whirring in his mind. Earlier that week he had told her he didn't see himself as a man of such a mind as Paul, clever and diplomatic, but that didn't mean he thought and felt deeply.

Coming up behind him, Beth reached out her hand and rested it on his shoulder, gently squeezing its broad curve. For a time she stayed just there, he too remained motionless, yet after a minute he brought up a hand and rested it on top of hers. Beth waited still and after another half a minute he sighed and said.

"Dean is quittin'…."

"The Pen?"

"He wants to be transferred off the Mile."

Beth moved into his vision then, coming to sit down opposite Brutus at the table, her gaze on his hunched frame as gentle as she could make it.

"Dean has always been the softest… you shoulda seen him that night… bawling like a baby. Paul had to tell him…" He sighed again, rubbing his face with his two bear paw like hands. "It's too quiet on there now… he has too much time to think about it all."

"You've all worked together a long time." Beth said softly, reaching for his hand though feeling she couldn't say anything to temper this latest blow.

"He's young, sensitive… I get it."

"You're all feelin' it. How could you not?" She ran her small thumb over the expanse of the back of his hands, back and forth in gentle strokes. "You all had to do somethin' you knew wasn't right in your hearts… but… it could only have been you four."

Brutus' hand jerked in her own, he wasn't angry but her words had brought something back. Part of her wished she had for a split second the gift she suspected John had possessed, the gift to see. Then perhaps she could actually help share the burden he carried.

"I think Harry will go soon too…"

"And Paul?"

"A week ago I was certain that nothin' would ever make Paul move from the Mile… no Percy… no nothin', but even he… something's changed."

"What about you?"

He withdrew his hand and rose from the chair, fetching a beer from the fridge and standing by it, idly taking a swig. Beth watched him, his distance from her at that moment evident. Outside the rain tapped against the windows and a strong wind blew, she listened to its restless murmur and regarded how in that moment they shared a space yet felt alone. There would be many times where she could not reach where he was, only wait until he returned to her, but these moments only magnified her own loneliness.

Likewise, Beth rose and moved to put on her coat and searching the pockets she located the keys to her own lodgings. The jingle of the metal alerted Brutus and he came into the hallway.

"You're goin'?"

"I'm only goin' to fetch some things." She replied as levelly as she could, they would both benefit from a short space from each other. Brutus didn't look convinced by this and she cupped his cheek. "I'll be two hours at the most…"

As she opened the door he came up behind her, a more self assured tone returning to him as he said softly.

"I'm sorry."

This thawed her immediately for its earnestness, he wasn't a self-pitying or weak man, but he was a man in pain none the less and it would show at times. Turning she smiled and replied softly.

"There's nothin' to be sorry for."

Brutus leaned forward and kissed her on the lips quickly as though he were just double checking this was the case. He got the answer he wanted. She left the house and made her way towards her own lodgings, the wind blustered and the rain pattered her skin and bundled hair, but the coolness and clarity of the short walk to the bus brought colour to her cheeks. Yes she needed dresses and whatnot but that could all have waited, no, that short moment in the kitchen had firmed her resolve. It was time to make contact with her brother and in a box which had not been opened in recent years was his last known address. Beth knew she had apologies to make, bridges to build but she knew now that the time for self pity and bitterness was past. It was time to take a step forward.


	23. Distance

_Dear Brutus,_

 _I've written this letter a day later than I wanted to, I would have called but the landlady of this house likes to eavesdrop so I don't care to. I miss you terribly and I hope that in my absence you are not falling too deep into dark thoughts. All the way here my thoughts were of you and some were even on John Coffey, it brings me such sorrow to think of all the hurt you're all feeling and the loss of such an incredible man's life. But it kept my mind from what I came here to do and I daresay stopped a few knots forming in my stomach. The first two days I tried Ben's house I had no answer, yet I swear when I went in the evening, someone was home. I pushed a note under the door with the address of where I was staying and waited, but nothing._

 _Nearly a week went by and I started to think about coming back but when I stepped out for some air one evening I found a young woman lingering a little down the road. I don't know whether she recognised me from a description Ben gave or maybe even some of our childhood pictures but she approached me. She's my brother's wife, can you believe it? It's a painful thing to think he got married and didn't even write to let me know. Her name is Frances and I swear she has the deepest brown eyes I've seen in a long time, I can imagine how on meeting her Ben must've found himself quite lost in them. We walked a little up the street to get some coffee and she seemed nervous and I knew instantly why._

 _She says Ben has no intention of seeing me but that she wanted to see me for herself. I am not sure how much he has told her or what she was expecting to find, but her kind face makes me think she thought well of me. My intention was to return home likely by the time you read this but having met Frances I don't feel I can come back yet. I think with her help and a little persistence, I may get to see him after all his time. I hope so because all these years have been painful without him. Yet being so far away from you is painful too._

 _Know that I left my heart behind in your keeping; I came here for my piece of mind._

 _All my love,_

 _Elizabeth_

… _._

 _Dear Brutus,_

 _I tried ringing the house twice today, I missed the sound of your voice too much to care about any earwigging. I assume you must be on the Mile a lot working and I hope reading this brings you some comfort amongst the quiet. How are Paul, Dean and Harry? Have you any one new on the Mile? I hope there is something keeping you all occupied and not prone to such dark, sad thoughts as how I imagine you all feel. But most of all I am keen to know how you are, I feel bad now leaving at such a time as this. As I'm lying in bed on a night I'm finding it strange not to feel you next to me, it seems after only a few weeks sharing a bed with you it has become more familiar to me than all those nights alone before we met. It's a strange feeling; I find I don't care for being without your arms anymore._

 _Frances has come to visit me several times in recent days, it's hard to believe I have been here nearly three weeks and still I haven't seen Ben. But today she brought some good news, he has relented to a point, it seems my sister in law has a bit of the diplomat about her. The thought of seeing him after all this time should be such a wonderful prospect despite the past, yet suddenly I feel afraid._

 _Perhaps it's the anticipation of so long a wait preying on my fears but I won't lie when I say once or twice today I've thought of coming home. I even packed my bag once but thought the better of it. Tomorrow is the day and I've racked my brains about what I want to say, I felt so certain before I left but it all seems to have left me. Ben will likely have a good deal to say to me though I am scared to go and he'll only sit there saying little whilst Frances and I prattle awkwardly to fill the silence. Yesterday she told me that they have a little boy nearly three years old, it was a bittersweet thing to hear about but I just imagine a miniature Ben only with big brown eyes running around a green back yard. It will be nice to see for myself tomorrow, if he allows it._

 _I've enclosed my address this time, I wrote before so quickly I didn't think to. Send me some news back; it will be nice to hold something that has been in your hands._

 _All my love,_

 _Elizabeth._

…

 _Dear Brutus,_

 _It seems I am destined to miss you, my landlady seems to think you called here but that I wasn't in. Did you leave any message with her? She didn't forward any. When I rang your house the other day, I was relieved to get a reply though it was not your voice. It was strange however, there was a note of you in the tones and something of the ruefulness. I am guessing that the lady answering was your sister, she told me that you had gone out fishing with her husband. I am glad to see there is still a woman's touch at home whilst I am not there, I dread to think of it getting back into disarray again after I so carefully reordered it._

 _So much has happened since my last letter, it would take up several more pages to explain it all but I find that I just want to hear your voice. During this separation I have found my spirits to be a dimmed and yet in comparison with the burden you carry I feel as though I have no right. Somehow in those dark days leading up to John's passing we supported one another, helped each other bear all the burdens and shared them._

 _I find the loss of that particularly poignant as I sit here; it's hard not to consider the darker thoughts. Ben and I have seen each other twice since my last letter and yet in this private moment between just ourselves, I do not find myself wishing to cloud it by mentioning him. I've realised so much more on this journey how much you mean to me, the knowledge and concentration of it grows each passing day and all that I want right now is to hear your voice. Perhaps by the time this has reached you we may have already spoken, yet even if you had only put the phone down seconds before you read this, I would still be impatient for your voice that means so much to me. For now I will just be persistent._

 _All my love,_

 _Elizabeth._

…

There was a slight click on the receiver, then a small sigh crackled down the line.

"Beth?" There was a pause, Brutal hesitated but then continued. "Are you there?"

"Yes… yes I'm here." Beth replied quietly, her head aching a little and she stifled a yawn. The hour was reaching nine at night; he must have somehow managed to leave his shift early to ring her.

"I'm glad I got hold of you at last… I rang your landlady several times but she said you'd left over a week ago. I wasn't sure whether you were on your way back."

"I'm… I'm at Ben's."

"Oh." He piqued, his voice sounding both surprised, yet somehow pleased at this new information. Beth placed her hand over the speaker and sighed, not wanting him to hear her. "Is everything okay?"

"Frances happened upon the landlady, she recognised her from when she picked me up…"

"She wrote to me with the number, give her my thanks." Brutal said trying to sound cheerful. Beth's eyes closed and she felt a strange sadness come over her, she missed him terribly.

"Have you been keeping busy?" She asked.

"I've been fishing once or twice with Peter, it's been a while and I took your advice to not prattle if I could help it."

Beth let a small bit of laughter escape down the line and it was music to Brutal's ear, yet there was something still not right. In the background, a child was singing with its mother in a nearby room.

"Someone's up late." Brutal noted.

"He's been having nightmares about giant fish in their pond."

"I've had a few of those myself… not of fish unfortunately."

A pang of sadness on his behalf hit her, she should be there with him to help him bear it.

"Me too." She admitted, "It's harder without you here."

"Are things okay? Is he being kind to you?"

"They're letting me stay, that was unexpected." Beth admitted. "My sister in law can perform miracles I think."

"Well we know that can be done."

Both paused a moment, each remembering John Coffey's silhouette as he looked up in wonder at Top Hat projected onto the wall. But something made Brutal repeat his question.

"Is he being kind to you?"

"For the moment." Beth replied.

"Why's that then?"

"I think even when things are seen to be forgiven, they ain't forgotten."

"Beth…" Brutal said worriedly, "What's wrong?"

Beth took a long moment and checked up and down the hallway, there was no sound or sign of anyone in earshot. Pressing the received closer to her face she said hesitantly.

"I'm… I'm pregnant."

For a moment there was silence, Beth closed her eyes and screwed them so tight so that tears would not leak out and betray her inner turmoil. Ben had only just begun to forgive her, now here she was again, unmarried and pregnant. When there was no immediate response on the line, Beth uttered his name.

"John Coffey was right again." Came the reply, more audible and level sounding than anything he had previously uttered. Beth's mind was cast back to one of her last conversations with John.

" _It healed itself, despite what they said."_

" _How do you know that, John?"_ She had asked him and he had looked at her in that sad, dreamy like way he had when what was invisible to others was as crystal clear for him to see.

" _I can see it, I can see the scars but it's all healed."_

The memory seemed like only minutes ago, not the nearly two months since John's execution and for a long moment, Beth felt the hollow pang of grief. But Brutal's voice called her back to the present.

"I've been a happy man these last few minutes hearing your voice, but now… I think… well I think I might be the happiest."

"He won't forgive me a second time, Brutus." Beth explained. "I… I'm going to stay a few more days… make up for a little of the time we've lost… then I'm coming home for good… I'll have to close this book."

"Beth…" Brutal said softly, he was going to reassure her but she wiped a betraying tear from the corner of her eye.

"It's alright… I've two blessings in you and the one to come… they're the only blessings I've ever had. But sometimes to be blessed… there's a price."

"You're just living a life Beth, you've seen first hand that others live it far worse. By my reckoning he's not done right by you either."

Footsteps walked across an adjoining room and Beth was conscious of the time.

"I have to go now Brutus, I'm coming home on Friday… I'd like to think I could tell him before I… but I think this is too much for the moment."

They both found themselves sighing at the same time, a moment where they were in sync with one another despite the distance. But then it came, soft sounding and deeply meant.

"I love you, Beth."

The door opened and Beth squirmed on her seat yet at this moment though she would have to say it in a whisper, say it she would.

"I love you too."

As Beth placed the receiver down, she sat back in her seat and contemplated a moment. As one burden seemed to lift at the sound of his voice and the knowledge still of his love it was like a burden lifted from her shoulders. Yet the approaching footsteps of Ben seemed to cast a shadow over her. Where once she heard the taunting whisper of Percy saying her name in her memory, her brother's utterance of her name in a questioning tone made her shudder.


	24. Home

In her dream she saw his large paw of a hand reach out for her own, how her dainty fingers became contained. His grip was gentle and she lost sight of her own fingers. Looking into his sad eyes she saw the whole world's sorrow contained there and yet his words spoke such hope to her.

"It healed itself."

"Thank you, John."

"You is so kind, so kind, ma'am."

Her eyes dropped to the St. Christopher about his neck and she could remember the account that Brutus gave her and every word of it seemed to spiral between them both. John was in shadow, only those brilliant white eyes and his large hand were visible. The rest was merely a large shape, standing over her, dwarfing her but not frightening her.

"Are you happy, John?" She asked and she heard him exhale, her eyes once more meeting his. They stared at one another for a fleeting second before he dropped her hand and retreated further into shadow. Soon he was lost to her all together. Beth called out for him quietly several times, hoping to coax him out again, but there was no reply, no sign of the gentle giant. Swallowing hard, she edged her foot forward, ready to enter the shadows and find him, but no sooner had she begun to move a harsh voice called out.

"Beth!"

The voice startled her awake and blinking several times she re-climatised to reality. She had fallen asleep on the low leather couch, her head drooping on the high arm. The eyes of her brother ,Ben examined her closely, why did they always seem suspicious these days?

"There's a man at the door asking for you." He explained, "He tells me you two are getting hitched soon."

Suddenly aware of who had arrived, Beth sat up with surprise and she smoothed down her dress, ignoring the continued scrutiny of Ben. In the background she could hear her sister in law's voice in the kitchen and a deeper, quieter tone so very familiar to her. She appreciated that Brutus had at least been let in.

"Exactly when was this going to be announced?" Ben asked her curtly, it irked her that he continued to talk to her like a parent. Beth said nothing and walked through to the kitchen and her heart couldn't help but do a flip in her chest to see that very welcome face of Brutus.

"You should've told us the happy news, Beth!" Frances cooed, coming over to give her a kiss on the cheek. "I am so happy for you!"

Beth found it strange seeing him here just after dreaming about John. In truth, the ghost of his presence still lingered in her consciousness. Feeling Ben's presence behind her she turned her head slightly, he leaned in the door way nonchalantly, his arms folded. Brutus looked at Beth with a look of inexplicable happiness, but he kept his face calm and contained. Coming over to her, he leaned and kissed the top of her head, giving her a sly wink. But knowing his duty, he walked over to his somewhat shorter brother in law and put out his hand.

"Thank you for letting me in, Mr Hadler." Brutus said confidently, looking Ben square in the eye. "It's good to see you at last."

"You can call me Ben." Her brother replied, trying to imitate Brutus' confidence, though a good three inches difference in height couldn't be compensated. "So, you come down here to properly ask me for permission to marry my sister?"

"No, I think Beth gave me that already, I just came to pay my respects before takin' her back with me. It's a long bus journey for her, it's an easier drive."

Beth remained where she was, observing the interchange go on before her eyes. It was almost amusing to her to see them side by side. Her brother, who had once seemed her towering hero, now looked dwarfed by the nobility and dominance of the man she loved. From behind her, her Frances piped up.

"I'm sure you too want some time to talk, the garden will be nice and quiet and after all it is a fine day."

Nervously, Beth glanced at Ben who still was watching Brutus, seemingly refusing to look at her. Turning, she moved towards the back door and Brutus followed behind. Once closed, they made their way to a home crafted bench from two logs and a piece of wood and seated themselves. Taking a glance back towards the house, Brutus saw they were no longer being observed and he took her face in his hands, kissing her deeply. The loss of John Coffey still lingered in Brutus' eyes and below them, dark circles lingered. Otherwise he looked well, though… somewhat older in a way she couldn't put her finger on.

"Boy am I glad to see you!" He uttered, holding her hand, reminding her once more of John's large bear paw. "I've hardly slept a wink waiting for this."

A little chill snaked around her heart, for she imagined Brutus was visited by Coffey frequently too. Her distant look caused Brutus to tip her chin upwards and he scanned her face.

"What's the matter?"

"Nothing…" She babbled, "Well I… I dreamed about John only moments before you came."

A shadow now passed over Brutus' face and his eyes seemed to dim a little in their brightness. His head bowed for a second as he breathed in and out quietly. Now it was she who watched him, squeezing his hand gently.

"That's where we'll all see him now, in the shadows." Brutus said quietly.

"How did you know?"

"I've seen him too, once or twice, sometimes I think even when I've been awake. Poor Paul, it's written on his face. Harry and Dean too."

"I'm glad you're here." She said. "I'm so frightful since I realised…"

"Well there's no need, we can get married as soon as you want… if you want to that is?"

"Didn't I say so?" She said trying to sound rueful and when a glimmer of a smile appeared on his lips, she took the decision to kiss them once more for assurance.

"I don't suppose I deserve this after what I helped do." Brutus explained, "But by hell I'm thrilled about it. All the other guys got a wife an' kids, I suppose I never thought I would…."

"Old as you are?" She joked, remembering that moment of harmless flirtation in the car in the middle of all that horror. Brutus laughed now and it was a welcome sight to Beth.

"Have you told them?"

"I think my sister in law has guessed, but she's said nothing to Ben."

"He's quite the curt guy isn't he?"

"He never used to be, I daresay between Theo, Percy and me we helped turn his temper."

"That ain't no excuse to become a jackass!" Brutus explained. "Out of the four of you, you were the injured party, you lost the most…"

"Are you sure about that? I ain't at Briar Ridge."

That stopped Brutus and immediately she wished she hadn't said it, for she could swear that she could see the image of Percy murdering Wharton in his eyes. It was as though in that moment she heard the sound of the string of bullets going off around them.

"I'm sorry." Beth explained, turning his face to hers to look at him fully. "We got to piece this together between us. This is the small amount of redemption we can have."

"You ain't done nothin'." He said, kissing her forehead once more. "Me? The house will square with me someday. By rights I should reject this, but I won't, you don't deserve that."

They looked at one another a moment, the ghost of John Coffey present by its absence now and within seconds, they found themselves embracing each other fiercely. Her arms wrapped tightly about his neck, her head resting on his shoulder. His own were about her waist and he buried his face in her hair. For a long moment they held each other thus, each feeling a mixture of sadness but also gratitude to have the other.

"I love you so much." She murmured close to his ear and he drew back to look at her once more when he returned those very words. "Can we go home now?"

"Just like that?" Brutus asked, his eyebrows raised, Beth touched his cheek.

"Just like that." She replied, "And we'll call all those who matter when we get back once we have a spot in the church."

"Don't you want to…"

"I intend to kiss my sister in law and their boy goodbye and leave here, he's changed, I could see it properly just now. I have lost his trust, it's not going to come back."

Elizabeth Hadler swallowed any trepidation that she had and walked back into the house with Brutus and there she told her brother the whole story... well with a few things absent. Whilst she spoke of their intention to marry and the child she was carrying, she saw her brother's love and approval that she had so recently regained, evaporate like water in the desert. What followed was a cold interchange, Brutus on the whole remained silent, knowing it was important for Beth to do this for herself. But when Ben announced once more that she had fallen below God's reach, never to be regained again, he spoke up.

"I think Mr Hadler, that your sister here is a fine woman, the finest. When she told me all about the past, all I thought was how you, her own brother stood by and watched your best friend seduce your sister. You let his and your actions demean her in your eyes. I don't see it so myself, but we ain't all gonna think alike." He explained proudly, an arm slipping affectionately about Beth's waist. She did not look at him here, but her eyes pricked with tears as she became touched by each and every word.

"You don't know what you're talking about?" Ben snapped angrily, instinctively stepping forward though it was an ill advised move when Brutus' size towered over him.

"You failed her." Brutus said with a firm calmness and Frances now came forward herself and tugged on her husband's arm.

"Let this go now, Ben." She pleaded, "We ain't hardly much better."

This really got Beth's attention and her gaze snapped immediately to her brother, her eyes burning and demanding to meet with his. When they finally connected, though it took a few seconds, he looked guilty.

"What do you mean, Frances?" Beth asked gently, smiling more reassuredly at her sister in law.

"I mean... our boy brought our own wedding day forward." Frances replied and Beth saw Ben flinch at her words. Now his eyes changed from guilty to almost defiant. Leaning in and kissing his wife's cheek he turned to Beth with his coldest demeanour yet.

"Our child was a symptom of our marriage... not the cause." He said with slow bitterness, but Beth saw only shame masked as boldness. "You are nothin' but a whore."

An arm swung round to level a blow at Ben Hadler's head but two smaller hands stalled its approach, gripping the wrist. Brutus was mid lurch when he snapped round to see Beth's pleading eyes asking him not to see it through.

"We're leaving." Beth said quietly, no longer looking at her brother though feeling calm. She accepted it all, she would not let it enter her heart. In truth, her brother's opinion no longer mattered. The two of them said not a word, no goodbyes were given, Beth even left her belongings. She merely walked to the car with the man she loved and they drove away.

The drive home was long, the night scattered with stars and it would soon be dawn. Brutus had driven the entire way and Beth had been determined to stay awake and be good company. They talked little, short bursts only, though both had a lot in their heart. They were comfortable together for a long time until the final hour became so unbearable with fatigue that chatting was necessary.

"I'm gonna invite the boys to the wedding, my sister too... we don't need a big affair do we? You can bring Dolores!" Brutus yawned and Beth smiled in return. "Sorry."

"It's fine. The boys, your sister and Dolores sound perfect."

"I ain't gonna lie, part of me worried you might've changed your mind. That's why I came down here... impatience got the better of me."

"Are you crazy?" Beth said gently, "You're the dearest thing to me, besides, you've kinda left your mark now."

Realising her meaning, Brutus blushed; it was something she had never seen him do before. Beth found it incredibly endearing.

"It'll all be settled when the time comes, you have my word." He promised, a promise with the depth of a sworn oath it seemed.

"I ain't panickin', don't you be." Beth replied with a tired smile.

"It's gonna be done proper this time, we'll be married and you're gonna be comfortable and take it easy. You ain't gonna have nothin' bad."

Brutus seemed so certain that Beth believed him though she sensed a sadness in him from the moment he had set eyes on her brother. It concerned her.

"Can you pull over somewhere quiet, please." Beth asked.

Nodding, Brutus did just that. Imagining she needed to relieve herself, he pulled down the most discreet back road he could find. As they pulled to a stop, Beth remained where she was and this perplexed him. Within a moment she'd leaned in to him and taking his face in her two hands, she placed a kiss on his lips. Hers were filled with love, reassurance and gratitude of him and his care for her. For a moment he was taken aback by the suddenness of it, but he soon pulled her onto his lap with his strong hands. They were a mad tangle of lips and hands for some minutes, missing each other as they had. It had all come to a head now. Pulling back at last, a breathless said with gruff desire.

"It's a dangerous thing to get a man all worked up down a back road."

Beth raised an eyebrow in amusement and replied.

"It wouldn't be my first time."

The lust in his eyes dissipated a little, though he had a gentle look to him now and he cupped her cheek with his large hand.

"You're too good for that," He said softly and Beth felt she had scarred the moment they were sharing. Her eyes and hands dropped to her lap and she looked ashamed.

"I'm sorry."

"What for?"

"I don't like my past dealings, i like you knowing them even less."

"Don't be silly!" He replied, chuckling now and tilting her head upwards again to kiss her once more. "I just want to be at home with you there. Besides i'd be too done in to get us home if we started that now."

Beth smiled and slid back to her own seat. Brutus started the engine but turning to her, he gave her a knowing look.

"Can't say the same for tomorrow though."


End file.
